NC for 4 Months Now! Update

[Mstyiyd]

I haven't posted on here in a long time, been busy trying to get back on track in life, so to speak. Hope everyone is doing well. My old posts can be looked up, to get the whole story, but basically, I have done NC for the past 4 months w/my ex after she got mad at me during a phone convo and hung up on me, never to call again. I still think about her wayyy more than I probably should, I still miss her alot, and when I think about her or us, it's raw & bitter.

 

The good thing is, I've been working really hard to move forward. I'm still going to see a counselor, I've made a huge effort to meet new ppl (good ppl, not just bar-ppl), and I've done some cool things this summer, I took a trip, went to some concerts, etc etc. For that, I'm proud of myself.

 

It's funny how some people out there can just dump someone and never look back, like they never existed. I still have a real hard time with that. I know that my ex has heard about various things I've been doing so I know she knows I'm not sitting around waiting on her. I had heard thru the grapevine that she felt sorry for me and that i had no life. Where she got that from is beyond me. I am very independent, work hard, provide it all for myself and she still lives with relatives and has to be hand-held to do anything. Living well is the best revenge---I've been told that, and I have to agree.

 

I'd like to extend support to all the other NC'ers out there, it is so hard for me still, but I'm doing it one day at a time. I still wonder if she will ever call. From what I've heard, she thinks I owe her an apology (for what no one seems to know, since she hung up on me) which she is not going to get. I've never called her once, which I should not do anyway, after being hung up on, but I also know that she's tried to put the moves on some other women, and it's failed. I live in a small town, so it's hard not to hear things..........and one other thing that I heard is that other ppl find her to be very cocky/arrogant, and its a turn-off. So, although its probably not therapeutic for me to hear, it did help me move on a little bit knowing other ppl see in her what I thought was because of ME.

 

Not really looking for advice, but any thoughts or comments regarding this post are welcome! I'd like to hear what others feel about doing NC long-term and how they continue to cope. I guess what comes around really does go around. I do want to stress that I'm trying to focus mainly on myself, because knowing what she's doing isn't going to make my life better. (just felt a tiny bit better knowing ppl dont think she's the mac-daddy she thinks she is!)

 

 

[lvlyldy]

Its good to hear you've kept up NC for so long! I was going on 3 months (its been about 5 months since hte break up), until I broke NC yesterday. Since then Ive been a huge mess... Its very obvious my ex has moved on and even though I thot I was moving forward, I can tell from my crying all day that Im not. It still hurts, I still miss him, and I think a part of me still wants to work it out. Sticking to NC would have been the much smarter thing to do. I will not call him, I will not try to contact or see him in anyway anymore. I still love him more than anything, but I realize I deserve the same back from him. Its hard to understand why I meant so little to him, and how he could just "get over it", but Im hoping one day I can get there too. Its hard, but maybe one day I'll be where you are, im hoping for it! Congrats, and you deserve all the happiness in the world. You give me hope that I'll be okay too soon.

[Spawn]

Hey Msty...

 

good to hear you doin good for yourself.

 

It will be 6 months strict nc for me now.... Have no intentions of gettin back ever with my ex, the feelings are still there somewhat but WTH its always gonna be there.

 

its funny yea...seems your ex didn't care a crap about your feelings.

 

Keep on movin thats the best you can do, the thing i took up after the breakup is comin to an end now. I will be a cisco certified network professional, one more troublshooting exam to go, so ya, now the job huntin starts, hope i do land up with some job soon.

 

Lookin back...i was very immature so to speak for my first relationship. Period. But it was one nice experience, have no regrets now. Hope she has a great future ahead...

 

take care.... ]

[Mstyiyd]

Thanks, Spawn and LovelyLady, for your kind words. I wish there was a timetable for grief/healing......NC is so hard! Even now.......but the good thing is, when you do NC, no matter how difficult it is, you have the upper hand because you're not caving in and calling. If my ex was to call me ever, down the road, I can't honestly say I know what I would do.

 

I think I'm strong enough to ignore the 1st call (if i get one) but I don't know if I'd call her back. I guess I'll cross that bridge if I get to it.

But for now, I'm just trying to go on. I feel healthier mentally, and since I've made some new friends, that's been good bec I have more ppl to do things with now. Feels good!

 

As for my ex? She tells ppl all the time she can 'get anyone" she wants. So far, I think the best she's done is gone to strip clubs and paid to get some! Haha......glad I don't stoop to her level. I hope happiness is around the corner for all of us!