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My Boyfriend's Girl Mates

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Ok so me and my boyfriend both go to different colleges, both see each other when we can. Both love each other etc etc


Ok this is where my problem comes in


My boyfriend has a mixture of both boys and girls who he hangs with at college and goes out places with on a regular basis. One of the girls, we'll call her Sarah, likes my boyfriend as more than a mate and has told all of her friend and of course my boyfriend also knows.


He says i'm the only one for him and he doesn't want to be with anyone else and that i need to trust him.


I dunno, i just get paranoid. Any advice?

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Well, if he knows she likes him then theres no harm right? He says you're the only one for him, give him the benefit of the doubt.


However, does he hang out with her alone? Do they spend a lot of time together?


If it's within a mutual group of friends, I wouldn't have anything to worry about. Tag along and see if she acts differently around him than anyone else, but don't give her a hard time either (unless she's all over him)

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You'll only be in trouble if he starts feeling neglected in your relationship. It's the natural human reaction to run to someone else you KNOW likes you if you start having problems with your significant other....for example if you start doubitng your partner's fidelity, or they make you feel ugly in any way, which leads you to seek validation.


Providing your relationship is good and you put a respectable level of effort in, he should have no reason to go off with Sarah who could also be called A Sure Ego Boost. Ensure you don't upset him too much ever, it'll be fine.

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hmmm, ok thanks


Well he doesn't ever see her alone so i guess i don't have much to worry about.


I was just used to seeing him every day and now we're both at different colleges, it's weird to get used to and knowing that one of his mates really likes him makes it a bit harder.


But im sure i have nothing to worry about. Thanks for your advice =)

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lol that was encouraging. Walk on eggshells and he won't stray away!


I don't agree entirely. He may use her to boost his ego every once in a while but that does not mean he would fool around with her if things got rough with his gf. Have a little faith in guys!

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Take it from someone who lets negative thoughts consume me at times. Its a insecurity within yourself that you cant trust who you are as a person. Your b/f will have friends male and female be it in college, afterwards, and when he is old and gray. You must accept what he says when he says trust him. If he has never led you astray before then you cant not trust him.


Ok so this gal likes him and has made it known. Well he's told you and made you aware that he is NOT interested. You have to take it for what it is. When the thoughts and the paranoia set in thats where the trouble will start. Your b/f will see this and not respond in the way that will stop it. Only YOU can stop it.


Let this go and try to just enjoy your life and your b/f. Thinking that way can become such a nasty habit it can make life alot harder than what it should be.

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i was in the same situation and caused an almighty fuss because i couldnt handle his friendship with the other girl when she liked my (now ex) boyfriend. I definitely agree that you should try not to worry and to give him a chance - if he says he isnt interested, do your best to believe him and see how it goes. I definitely made the situation worse by becoming so obsessed with this girl cos i thought she was better, thinner and prettier than me - its made me miserable for years now - dont let this happen to you if you can help it!


My relationship ended with him cheating (not with the friend in the end though - someone else entirely) so my cynical heartbroken side would warn you to be alert to him having his cake and eating it though - maybe just keep in mind that he might enjoy having her fancy him and you being his gf as well - i think if he starts to spend more time with her or time just the 2 of them, he would be pushing his luck!


Good luck....

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  • 3 months later...

distance love definitely make people feel uncomfortable,we will keep worry about whether there are anyone try to go near to him or her that eventually connected and come to you ask for a break-up .


nonetheless, we should think positively, got a distance in love not alltogether is bad but good too , both of you may know if your relationship is in shaky ,stagnate , steady or getting stronger .


now ,it is the time you got to measure it out .

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I have a similar situation...

so if a guy ever goes anywhere with another girl alone, it means there IS something to worry about, right? :S

sorry I know I'm blinded by him right now...


I certainly see it as a possibility that soemthing is going on but there's no guarantee. Quite a lot of opposite sex friends like to discuss their relationship issues with each other for advice.

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