Anyone ever have a longterm space friendship?

[flyingspaghetti]

Anyone ever have a friendship really fall apart and then later you converged with someone? Such as months or even years later? I would like to read stories on this. If you guys don't mind, can you share the basics of what happened, what healed over time, and where there any apologies going on, etc, etc? And, how's the friendship like now?

 

I need personal experiences because I was telling some friends of mine I read it was possible. They asked me, "Where did you hear about this?" I said "online forums", but I can't remember which online forums or what. They find it hard to believe, so I wanted to know if I was just dreaming or if it really was on forums. Thanks.

[Cynder]

This happened to me pretty recenetly...

 

MY ex boyfriend, S had a friend who I'll call E. In the six years I dated and lived with S, E and I got really close. We developed this brother/sister kind of friendship.

 

When my relationship started to unravel with S, so did my friendship with E. It was all a bunch of stupid stuff, and the sad part is that it was all instagated by S. Like for example S and I took a weekend camping trip. We got back and E got all mad at me because he wasn't allowed to go camping with us. Turns out E asked S if he could come camping with us. S told E no because I didn't want him there. But S never told me that E wanted to come. So we get back and E is all pissed at me because of a lie told by S.

 

Stuff like this happened a lot. No matter what I did to convince E that I was telling the truth he just kept calling me a liar and a backstabber.

 

S also went to E's girlfriends blog and made all kinds of nasty comments to her, then blamed it on me. But there was much more to it then just these two incidents.

 

When S and I broke up, E and I also ended our friendship.

 

Fast forward a few years. I was a senior in college who had just been given an open asignment in my Advanced Digital Imaging class. I decided to do a Tarot card. E had modeled for me a lot when we were friends, and I had a picture of him that wwas perfect for this card, so I used it.

 

Well this short term project of one tarot card turned into the Entire Major Arcana, which I used for my senior exhibition. After graduation I decided to take it all the way and get my cards published. To do this I needed model release forms from everyone who participated, including E.

 

So I e-mailed him telling him I was not looking for a fight, I just needed him to do something for me.

 

He was willing to sign the release, so we got together a week later. He and my underhanded ex are no longer friends, and him and I have patched things up.

 

SO that is my expirience.

[Balbina]

Also happened to me fairly recently.

 

I fell apart with two of my best friends about two years ago.

 

One friend I was involved in a serious accident with - she walked away practically unharmed and I've been in and out of the hospital with surgeries for the past three years. Initially, we were very close because obviously she was there through it all...she stuck up for me a lot when people gave me a hard time as well throughout highschool.

 

Eventually we started drifting apart...I was coming to terms with my situation and I felt years ahead of everyone else. I started to realize how much more there was to life and to people...Dealing with ignorance from strangers really affected me and after falling into a bad depression, I made my way out of it stronger and wiser.

 

She, on the other hand, changed in another way. She became so consumed with image and appearance. I like to look good too and I think I have a little vainity as well, but she was very superficial. Dealing with my injuries and having to hear her judge other people based on their imperfections and treat them worse accordingly, I saw just how shallow she really was.

 

We drifted apart and barely spoke. Recently I saw her at a family get together (we're family friends) and she seemed normal. I started talking to her and we began to remember all the fun times we had together. We started hanging out but again, days later when we were at a party and she got drunk, she began acting out as if she were all high and mighty. She had the ugliest attitude and I was embarrassed to be seen with her.

 

I don't regret losing that friendship because now that I've spent time with her again it verifies why I chose not to, despite our extensive history.

 

My other friend and I (same group of girlfriends) also drifted apart. She was very into her money and her looks as well, but also very much into making very bad decisions and making things difficult for herself for attention. After I found out she did some things, we really drifted apart because I realized we were in different places.

 

We got back together a few months ago and things were fine for a few months. She sounded really put together and mature as her life was really downhill and she was so upbeat. Her positive attitude impressed me and I wanted to have her around...

 

Then I realized her positivity and rants about changes were just talk. She continued to make bad choices and act out for attention. She hadn't changed much, except for having a better vocabulary and expressing herself better.

 

I still see her sometimes but I ask not to hear about her life because people who say one thing and do another aggrivate me.

 

In both cases it sucks...I find I keep changing my circle of friends continually. I wish I had that one stable group of girlfriends (which these two girls were for 6 years) but its hard when you all change so much, so differently.

[AllGrownUp]

I recently had to make the decision on cutting off ties with a person whom I thought I shared some form of a friendship with. Long story short, he & I have known eachother for a couple of years. He seems to think it's been longer & was under the impression that we met in passing back in high school, I sincerely don't recall that.

 

When we initally met, he was in a relationship, I was coming out of a very turbulent one. He expressed an interest in me, I felt flattered, he's a very handsome man, but I was always very respectful of his relationship & kept it platonic. We had a minor falling out not too long after he confided in me about his attraction to me. He invited me to have dinner at his house, (his girlfriend at the time lived in another state) I declined & told him I'd feel better if he met me out somewhere. He got upset with me that I didn't want to have dinner at his house, I mean I explained to him how wrong it seemed to me & how disrespectful it would seem to his girlfriend. He still didn't see my side of things.

 

We'd still speak, I'd talk to him during the times when I was really stressed & going thru my turbulent breakup with my last ex. He lives in NC & at the time I was back in the MD area, so our contact was stricly via telephone. At times, he'd tell me how he wished he met me before his "then" girlfriend, which as I told him made me feel odd. It was always platonic, I even asked him if she knew about his female friends, he said she did...I still don't know.

 

We lost contact with him, in part due to my distancing myself from him & then losing/replacing my old cell phone. I'd forgotten that he still has my email address. A couple of months ago, he sent an email to say hello. We corresponded back & forth. He let me know that things didn't work out in his relationship, so now he was single & I was single too. We began talking virtually everyday. However, I didn't confide to him that I was now living in the same state as him. I had my reasons, I would eventually. I've been focusing on school, trying to put some closure to somethings in my life, etc.

 

He recently lost one of his brothers & his father had been ill. So, I tried to do what any friend would be there for a friend. I was attracted to him, but I told him that if things were meant, they'd happen over time, not over night. The phone calls increased, he'd want to stay on the phone for hours at a time, at first I didn't mind, because he was greiving. Things started to change when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I told him I didn't think I was ready, I have too much stuff I'm trying to deal with right now, mentally/emotionally I'm not ready & my level of patience with men is very short.

 

Some days he'd call when I was in class & couldn't talk, (my phone would be on silent) it would go to voicemail. Someone (not him) will call my phone from a private/unavailable # & leave blank vm's & my friend would get upset b/c he couldn't leave a vm. I'd tell him that I always check my missed call log & call right back before I even check my vm's anyway. Well, things started getting more tense between he & I. I explained to him that when I'm in school, I can't talk & that I'd call him if I got time on a break or in the evenings when my minutes were free.

 

Some days, he'd call 5 or 6 times, I quickly started to get annoyed by his behavior & told him how I felt quit abruptly. Of course, he didn't like it, but I'd rather him know how I felt than hold it in & have him wonder why I was distancing myself from him. Some days I just didn't feel like talking to him, so I'd cut the conversation short. He'd continue to call & call & send a couple of emails. On one occasion, I lost my phone & got a case of food poison, he acted overly assumptive in his voicemails that I checked from a landline phone, saying that he thought I was lying about losing my phone. I'd change my outgoing msg to reflect that I'd lost my phone from a land line phone.

 

When I did finally speak to him, I went off. I told him I didn't appreciate him being overly ASSumptive & his neediness was wearing on me. He continued this bit of nonsense, by calling me over & over a couple of nights ago. Mind you, I hadn't told him I was living in the same state (I have my reasons). He showed me his true colors & thankfully I sat back & allowed him to do so. I saw all I needed to see that he & I could never be together. He was showing me things that he was needy, insecure & overly assumptive...things I clearly don't want from anyone that I get involved.