Abusive Mother, Please Help

[LaurenKV]

I would first like to say that I am new here, so I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm 17 yearsold and 22 weeks pregnant, I live with my mother. She has hit me several times since I've been pregnant, the cops have came and so has child protective services. My mother is also an alcoholic and that does play a huge part in the way she treats me, but she also treats me badly when she is sober. My father told me I couldn't tell child protective services the truth otherwise me and my sister would be taken away and put into foster homes. I don't want that to happen but it's getting so out of hand. I've even called a place called Mary's Shelter for pregnant teenagers, and asked for advice.... they told me to call child protective services. I'm so scared. My mother calls me all sorts of terrible names , she degrades me daily.... and I am so sick of it. She tells me she doesn't have to have me in her house and that she can kick me out if she wanted to. I talked to a social worker from Mary's Shelter, and she told me my mother couldn't kick me out and that she is responsible for me until I am 18 yearsold. My mother tells me I should just kill myself and that my baby is going to die. She makes me want to kill myself. She makes me feel so horrible about myself. I just want some help.... I need something to be done. I need advice anything..... I don't know how much longer I can take it.

[melrich]

Hi Lauren,

 

To me to sounds like the best thing for you to do would be to get out of your mother's house. Now that may not be practical at all but do you have any friends, relatives etc that might possibly be able to put you up?

 

Otherwise does Mary's shelter offer accommodation?

 

I would ignore your step-father's remark re. foster care. At 17 I am reasonably sure that would not be an option.

[LaurenKV]

No, she has stopped any contact that I could have with any friends or relatives that I did talk to. She has told my relatives and friends that I'm a and they shouldn't talk to me, and that I'm a .... and not to talk to me anymore. So I have no friends or relatives. I have nobody. Mary's Shelter said they need my mothers permission in order for me to stay there.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Welcome Lauren. I'm so sorry for the circumstances that brought you here but i hope you will find something here that brings you comfort.

 

I don't know where you are but are there any immancipation laws you can look into? I think here where I am, at 16 one can file to become immancipated from their parents. Your's sounds like as good a case as any.

 

I really think for your safety tho, and the safety of your baby, you should do what you can to get out. Is there any kind of financial aid you can receive for staying in school? Help with daycare is usually included in those programs.

 

Are you going back to school soon at all? If you are, talk to a counselor and tell them what you're looking for. Immancipation, not foster care.

 

Sweety, best of luck to you and please keep us posted.

 

And I have 3 kids myself, so when you have the baby...if you have any questions, feel free to hit me up!

 

Best,

T

[LaurenKV]

I cant keep him, as much as I want to.... I know I cant. I already love him so much but I don't want him anywhere near my mother. I cant stop crying. I feel so alone in this I just want to die. I live in Oregon. My mother pulled me out of school when I told her I was pregnant, she said I couldn't do now and that I cant do anything now that I'm pregnant. I really wanted to finish school, she told me I couldn't and called me stupid. I didn't mean to get pregnant I got pregnant on birthcontrol. I feel so horrible. I dont want my son to have a bad life like me. I wish I could take care of him, but I cant right now. I have no place to go. I only have a short time till I deliver him. I feel so horrible.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Sweety I would call child protective services, it seems like the best deal for you at this point.. you being under this much stress isn't healthy for you nor your unborn child. They should be able to find a temporary shelter or home for you to stay at until you are able to get onto your feet. Also about you not going to school, your mother can't stop you from attending school sweety that is your choice and your right as an american whether you are pregnant or not. An education is the best thing for you, it will get you alot farther alot quicker and will make it easier for you to get out on your own and away from your mother. I, myself am a young mother I know it is hard and there are times when it just seems like you cant go on with life but I would tell you your first step to being a good parent is to get away from your mother. If you do know 100% you can't care for this child the way needed then there are plenty of great people who are out looking for adoption and who will be great parents. Just do whatever your heart tells youis right not what everyone else says is right. And if you ever need anyone to talk with, just to vent, or someone who can kinda relate to your situation please feel free to PM me on here or I also have Yahoo and MSN .

Good Luck sweety!

[LaurenKV]

I want to call child protective services so bad. But I keep hearing that if I do call them they will take my baby away from me right after I have him. I just dont know what to do. Either way I lose. I either get my baby taken away after I have him, or I dont have a place to stay. And I am already so close to being homeless with my mothers threats. Does anybody else know anymore information about this?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Lauren - why don't you, if you can, call CPS anonymously at first, just to ask questions. That's what I did.

 

My sister is a junkie and has too many kids and is pregnant again. I called CPS on her, but didn't give them any info. Just got info from them. It was VERY helpful.

 

Since you're able to use the internet, check out this website...

 

link removed

 

Maybe looking at some info will help you make an informed decision.

 

As for the adoption route with your son, I think you're doing the right thing and I commend you. You are a lot stronger than you know. You WILL get thru this....