Do i have to talk to apartment neighbours?

[BrokenHeartGirl]

I live in a building in NYC, when i was younger i used to talk to everyone and answer thier questions, now that im older I realize i was talking too much and these people are just nosey and they never tell me much about themselves. I realize i kinda made a fool of myself.

 

I just want to shut up and mind my own business now, say hi and bye and thats it, i saw one woman who used to ask me lots of questions, I said hi and walked up real fast..

 

I dont want to be rude, but im older now and i just want to mind my own business.

 

I thought if anyone asks me questions i could just say im in a rush- gotta go. Latley if i see someone i pick up my cell phone so i dont have to talk to them..

 

am i being rude?

[Luck of the Irish]

am i being rude?

 

No. I do this all the time. Even in public places. Not because I'm rude, but I don't see the point of having meaningless chit chat. Make a few friends that really interest you, and don't worry about talking to everyone else. Unless your lease includes "conversation" as a requirement in the fine print, don't worry about it

[SaraJane]

I dont think you're being rude, but at the same time I have mixed feelings on the subject.

 

I've lived in many apartments when I've had neighbors and chose to not be friendly... I've had many reasons for that and never felt as if I was being rude, I just didnt see a point in pretending to be polite to people I truly didnt want to share anything with.

 

In my last apartment complex I avoided my neighbors also, but an older woman had moved in next to me and was very very friendly and it was quite hard to avoid conversations with her, and quite frankly I was very happy that I had met her, spent time with her, and had someone to talk to who could turn to me if she needed something as well.

 

Granted we didnt have coffee every morning, and there were times we didnt say much more than hello, but she wasnt nosey, she was a gem of a person with a warm heart who truly had a deep love for people... and I am lucky to have been one of them.

 

The choice is ultimately yours... but I'd much prefer someone avoid me and be 'rude' in the way that you are than pretend, or feel obligated to be friendly

[Beec]

I think you can learn to give vague answers about yourself and what you are up to, so you don't have to give away everything. Neighbors in NYC want no more than a moment of idle chit-chat. We live to close to each other to want to really know each others' business.

[babypink61]

lol I'm the same way too! I mean I'll say hi to them and stuff but I'm not the type of person to like stop and make small talks with them.

[itsallgrand]

I think picking up a phone is a fine way to give the message that you don't want to talk.

 

I'm with SaraJane on this, myself. There are ways to have a quick 'oh yeah, the weather is nice" etc. and keep it at under one minute or so.

It doesn't really hurt to keep things somewhat friendly - or at least not get on anyone's bad side or create hostility.

Also, wouldn't it kind of suck to be always watching out in case you might have someone try a convo with you? I think it's easier to chit-chat briefly, in the long run. Just keep it light and short.

 

whatever you are comfortable with - never worry about being 'rude'.