Jump to content

i don't know how to help him....

Recommended Posts

so, my boyfriend of 9 months has been a great friend of mine for a few years before we started dating. We started dating and it has been wonderful...we always seem to bring out the best in each other. My problem lies, that for school, instead of taking two periods of classes, he is taking work experience. however, in order to take work experience, you need a job. All summer, he has been filling out applications and he finally got an offer 4 a job that seemed wonderful. The manager asked to see him several times telling him that my boyfriend was exactly wut they were looking for. He told him that he needed to pay his respects to the otehr 4 people that applied. It turns out that the other 4 applicants were no good but a walk in came in that had experience before so when my boyfriend went in for the 6th time, he was told htat they found someone better than him. He is really bummed and i am not sure how i can help him through this. he already doesn't see himself as i do. He looks in the mirror and sees someone that is not worth anything...but when i look at him i see someone that is worth everything. his parents put a lot of pressure on him which dusnt help the situation much....but i finally felt like he put in so much effort and was going to be rewarded and it turns out i was wrong....i am hoping that he dusnt give up all together and instead of tkaing a step forward to seeing himself as an intelligent and worthwhile individual, he takes 2 steps backwards and we have 2 start from scratch agen....i love him so much....i know i do...and i cant stand seeing him in so much pain....i can see it in his eyes and it just kills me. If I could i wud gladly take him pain away from him because wenever i see that look in his eye i want to break down and cry...he also told me tonight that one of the biggest problems is people telling him one thing, and then doing the opposite...like the job thing. the guy told him that he coudl count on getting a job there but then in the end....he didnt get the job....also, to various friends, they tell him to call them so they can hang out and once he clals, they bluntly tell him that they don't feel like hanging out with him today....he was also planning on going to a waterpark with one of our friends, but instead, our friend told him he didnt feel like going so he hung out with someone else....i feel so awful because he is so upset....when he is in town....everybody is bored to death, but when he leaves, we end up finding thingsd to do....i try to tell him that it is just a coincidence and that people don't do it on purpose and that it is just unfortunate....but honestly....he has like the worst luck ive ever seen or heard about...ive never heard of anyone applying for 15 jobs and not getting a single callback.....or having 3 pretty stable plans within 3 days and having people blow him off.....poeple dont dislike him.....everybody loves hanging out with him....im just having a hard time convincing him of that and convincing him that he is worthwhile and worth everything to people....also.....does anyone have any advice on the job thing....hes been getting advice from me, his aprents and our friends and everything pretty much backfires....ne ideas??? thank u very much.....

Link to comment

for the part about the job, i've been in his footsteps. it can be very depressing and can really hurt your self-confidence. if i found myself in that position again, i would tell myself to a) be persistent, b) look EVERYWHERE (online like link removed, newspaper, ask friends), c) spend several hours a day i) writing cover letters, ii) tailoring your resume to the position. you pretty much have to treat your job searching as a full-time job if you want to be successful. don't wait for a job to come to you, it's not going to happen. find something to do while you're job searching so that you can refocus your depression into positive energy and relieve stress (playing video games, sports, etc).


about friends bailing out on him... he's still got you!!! i'm sure you guys can find something fun to do if his friends aren't available.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...