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Should I sent an email confessing feelings again...


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She asked me what I was looking for, and I said 'playing the field' which she construed as 'casual relationships', but those type of relationships usually have connotations for sex and I'm not into that.

 

I've compiled another email explaining myself, but am now baffled as to whether or not it is necessary to clarify or expalin myself, since she has already maintained her friendship with me, and is not looking for a reason to dismiss me on what I'm saying.

 

The email itself explains that when I said 'playing the field' I meant I have social anxiety and want to be a more social person, approaching and meeting new people, and that she reallly means something special, and that I've never asked anyone for a kiss before except her.

 

Now, the email itself reads almost like a classical Hollywood movie scene - where she is my heroine that after 30 years, I'm asking her for my first kiss, and I've never asked anyone else, because nobody else meant something to me that would deserve it. She is the female version of myself, my sister/friend/girlfriend/angel friend (a defination that I may explore here later - is there a term as 'angel friend' - a friend that comes at the right moment of life to serve a specific purpose like an angel from God, but is not necessarily meant to be a life-long partner or even girlfriend).

 

Right now, this email is just siting on the 'saved draft' section. I hear allot of friendships fall apart if one party gets too obsessed or says "I love you", and I dont want to appear to 'needy/clingy', unless it's necessary, or it's clear that she is really making an issue out of it. My gut feeling tells me I dont have to explain myself to her, that she is a true friend.

 

Her last correspondence was she enjoyed the last meeting, and intends to kiss me at a future date, when the mood/moment is right.

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Yes, she is a very understanding person, that's why she's the only friend I have that has stuck, while others have slipped right out very fast. A miracle.

 

Maybe I may express my feelings when the moment is right, like on a lake while the sunset is occurring over the water or something --- anyway, she likes sketching people, writes poetry and is writing music of some sort and skydiving.

 

I tried to trick a kiss on the last meeting by telling her to tell me the craziest thing she's ever done, and then I told her to close her eyes, to hear mine (and was going to kiss her). In other words, I was too preoccupied with the idea of kissing her that I didn't seem interested in her other side hobbies or passions, which I'll likely bring up in the future. It's good I brought up this thread, as I just remembered this as well.

 

I'll likely remind her to bring her poetry, and music lyrics or really bring it up on next brief date or long seduction date.

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