Is This A Bad Idea?

[brickchamp]

I've posted on the breaking up board, but this is about the *possibility* of getting back together. The person I was involved with ended things very abruptly with me 2 months ago - in a text. He wouldn't talk to me in person. I'd been involved with a good friend of his...but that relationship was terrible. Anyway, the friend caught wind that I was seeing this guy....and he got nervous, even though he said it didn't bother him, because he loved me SO much. Well, a couple of days later - boom, he says it's over. The one I was involved with previously threatened him in a serious way. Told him he better not ever contact me again ever. Because of work, I had to see the guy I'm in love with several times after the break up. I did my best just to ignore him. By this past weekend, he was staring at me a lot like he was trying to catch my eye....but the other guy was around so he never talked to me. He just looked. He's about to move, so I don't know if I'll EVER see him again now. Which I know is actually a blessing. To get to the point, we live in a pretty small town. I'm also planning to move away at some point, from this town and everyone in it. I'm wondering. If I still have strong feelings for him in a year or so, is it okay to contact him and say look, I've moved, you've moved....we don't have to worry about what anyone thinks....and just say I'd like to hang out or something. We were friends before all this happened, and I honestly miss him. And I get the vibe he is starting to regret ending it, but felt like he could do nothing about it.

[sumguy]

Of course, he might of moved on within a year.

 

I wouldn't let the one guy stand between us, after all it really isn't any of his business anymore, surely the two of you together could take him down? =)

 

You might just want to call him a week or two after he's moved and initiate contact again, rather than just waiting for a lot of time to pass before doing anything.

[brickchamp]

Thanks a lot sumguy. Yes, a lot can happen in a year, and he could have already formed a new, serious relationship in that amount of time. It's just that we had this quick, passionate thing and it ended so badly because of the 3rd person. And the one I'm in love with is about to move and go through some big life changes. I just didn't want to force myself on him too soon. And I wanted to give him time to decide if he missed me and wanted me back, despite the complications. Maybe a year is too long though. I just don't want to scare him off. I wanted to give him AMPLE time to figure out his feelings for me. And I honestly hoped maybe by then, I wouldn't be interested anymore! Because if I do get in touch with him, there's a BIG possibility I'm going to get hurt again. But I can't stop thinking about him. And because of how he was threatened, and feels he can't talk to me, it plays tricks with my mind! He may really NOT want to talk to me, but in the back of my mind I think....what if he DOES and he feels like he CAN'T because he promised not to. The way he was looking at me last weekend....was how he used to look at me. It got me wondering. THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!! Thanks again.....

[sumguy]

Don't need to ring up out of the blue and open with: "hey, I love you!" Why not take reinitiating contact slowly, wait till he's been gone a week or two and ring him up with: "Hey, how was the move? How's the new town? ect..."

 

Just let him know you're thinking about him, and that alone will be enough if he does still like you. =)