Why must I continue to torture myself!

[troublegal05]

Ok to make a long story short my ex and I broke up 9 months from today. I was doing ok and moving on with my life until I got an unexpected call from him a few weeks back. This just really threw me off and really confused me.

 

Here I was moving on with my life and doing good and he breaks nc and calls me. So he calls me and the first thing he tells me is he's calling cuz he just "ran accross my number."

 

Ok I dont know what this means because I know he knows my number by heart and thats a bunch of cr*p. So then i'm taking with him and he asks me how i'm doing and I do the same with him-trying to be polite- and out of the blue he asks if we could get together that very same day. I told him no maybe the following week because I had to go to church....

 

I honestly dont know what I was expecting but I think it just made some of my old feelings come back for him. Which is really stupid I know cuz it felt to me like maybe he was calling cuz he wanted to get back together with me. and deep inside I know its prob. not true.

 

Its just considering the way we broke up, (which I think was because of somthing embarrasing he did and his inability to tell me the truth) and his frequent calls after he broke up with me...Hes got me all messed up and he's sending me mixed signals! ](*,) But ever since then..about 3-4 weeks ago I cant stop thinking about the call....

 

What his intentions were. I care for him still very much, still knowing that we will never be together. He was my first love and I truly cared for him and I just honestly want him to be happy, but he's also hurting me alot! I feel as if he's leading a part of me on, and sending me either false hope or just giving me mixed signals. Either way he's not being fair to me when I spared his feelings by sticking to nc. This has just really hurt my feelings and I dont know what to think...

 

I'm confused, lonely and sad.... I dont know what to think anymore. His birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and the closer it gets the more I think about him and the call....I was thinking about calling him for his birthday so i'd have a legitament reason to call and ask what his intentions are. I'm just so confused on what to do. I need to know why he wanted to see me again and what his motives were. what should i do?

[sumguy]

I hear No Contact - don't talk to him for any reason, and explain to him that you're doing this to get over him - works well in these situations... It seems like everytime you talk to him you're rekindling old feelings that you'd really want to get over.

 

In the future you might want to break your post into 4 or 5 line paragraphs, there's a greater chance it will get read... =)

[JohnnyTable]

You were doing well. Why? Because you weren't communicating for one thing. This is a perfectly okay thing to do and a good way to heal.

 

Then he calls and you are messed up again. You are confused because you don't know what he wants. Who knows really, he could be bored, guilty, curious, etc. Fortunately, none of this really matters now does it? You broke up and you were moving on. Keep moving on.

 

Cut all ties with this person and keep moving on. Sounds like you were doing great!

 

Don't call him or contact him and realize that you will feel better again.

 

P.S. His "excuse" for calling you is BS!

[Midgi]

Exes tend to do that... come back into your life when you miss them the least!

I always got weak and let him back into my life... but 4 years later its still the same story. I agree sometimes it is better to cut all ties and move on, for your own sanity.