I broke and texted, what do I do now?

[Fisch]

 

 

Hi all,

Yesterday I broke NC by texting her something like "Now I see you for who you really are. Cheaters don't even know what love is." Today I really regret it, I am usually able to rise above it when people f*** up. I was doing so well and I let that slip. I feel like I have lost some of my dignity and I desperately want it back.

I dont want that to be my last impression, and there is so much more in my heart. I had faith in our love even after what she did, but I am not stupid and knew when to let go. I know that I can never take her back, and its only been a week and 2.5 days. I dont want the last thing she hears from me to be something like that. Not because I think it will not make her try and come back, but just because I feel like I have sort of betrayed my principles.

I want to keep no contact but I want to somehow let her know that I am stronger than that. What should I do?!

[Beec]

For, now, wait and do nothing. You can always try, at some time in the future to contact her again, if you really need to. Right now, anything you say will fall on deaf ears. Leave her alone, and read hockeyboy's latest thread.

[hockeyboy]

If you were to never speak to her again, the impression I think you'd be giving is "I dont want you and I dont need you"

[coolchick]

Maybe you could leave it a bit and then text something like, "im sorry for what i said the other day, its not me, i was just having a real bad day and took it out on you. Hope you can forget it. Take care"..........then leave it to see what she says. Dont ever feel that you've lost your dignity. What she did to you was FAR WORSE. She's got to expect a little grief for the pain that she's done to you so dont worry.

[Fisch]

The thing is, I really agree with what I texted, part of me is still so angry. I just know she will delude herself. I feel like I want her to know that being who she is, what she did was messed up and insanely hypocritical, but at the same time I want to be able to rise above it. That is why I dont know what to do! I am torn between two emotions. I guess I just have to learn to stop caring about what she thinks. Thanks for the responses though, I am still contemplating writing what coolchick said. Either way I agree with your advice guys/gals.

[Beec]

Don't let your emotions, particularly when they are confused control you. Let things calm down, let you calm down, let you not be too emotional over her, and then when you can say something.

[Bethany]

Forgive yourself, and do what Beec said and thats let things and you calm. You can put things right when you're feeling stronger. Until then, keep busy and share your thoughts with us instead.

[Fisch]

Ok guys, I will. What a s****y day. I work at a research lab at a university and it is just an internship but my supervisor is piling a high level software development project on me to do myself and with so much else on my mind I am completely overhwelmed. He is horribly repetitive, disorganized, and drawn out in his explanations and today I felt like I was going to explode. I am good at dealing with stress, but this just makes me want to knock myself unconscious.