why is he being awkward now? It happened so long ago!

[shellie12345]

Hi everyone,

 

I am a little confused. A while back me and a friend of mine slept together. I know you are all thinking HUGE mistake. It was definitely something I wish I had thought through a bit more but we handled it very well and things have been fine ever since. Here is a little history for you all to understand before I get into my problem: I had a bit of a crush on him before we slept together. He knew that and I think he acted on impulse. I was fine with it though because so did I, we just let it happen. Afterwards I did'nt really regret anything until about a week later (the first time I had seen him since it happened) he was all over other girls infront of me. Now, I knew that nothing much would come out of what we did so I was definitely not expecting much. However, his actions seemed very disrespectful to me and hurt me as a result. I just thought it was too soon to be doing something like that, especially since we had barely spoken about it etc...He ended up apologizing, I forgave him and we continued being friends, but I stopped thinking of him in a "more-than-friend" way immediately. It belw over though and things have been fine.

All of this happened almost 8 months ago. And here is why I am confused.

All of a sudden he has been acting stange around me. He is quite stand-offish and he is less eager to start up conversation ( I pretty much have to start and carry any convo). He is hesitant to be anywhere near me pretty much. Although it is not something that happens all the time it has happened a few times recently.

I am wondering why now?? Why 8 months after all this would he feel strange now? I am totally fine around him and when i feel like he is being stange I try to make him feel like I don't care and am completely normal. Afterall, he is the one who kinda hurt me, so if anything, I should be the awkward one! Why is he being like this now?? Any ideas???

[Dako]

Of course asking him would be awkward too, but if he's struggling with his feelings for you, he may be relieved to spill the beans. He could be trying to supress his attraction or feels rejected by you for some reason.

 

A very good friend of mine was once like that.

[shellie12345]

I have thought about that but that confuses me too. I mean if he felt that way why would he have treated me that way in the first place? And when he acts like that it actually makes ME feel like he is grossed out by me and does'nt want me around. It had the opposite effect. I could ask him about it but its so hard to get him talking sometimes I don't even know what I would say or how I would say it.

[Dako]

Guys can be rude to protect themselves from involvement or rejection.

He could have a weird little world in his head, but only he can explain it.

[shellie12345]

so what should I say to him? How and in what setting should I do this? I am human too and I am scared of being completely rejected, I already felt major rejection from him and I am scared that it could happen again if I say something.

[Dako]

I'd ask if he wanted to clear up any problems because you value his friendship, then leave the ball in his court. He can then make his choice and get back to you on his schedule so it's not like a confrontation.

[shellie12345]

If this continues I am gonna have to say something...

I don't get it though. This has not been an issue for so long and I never thought I would have to deal with it again. I thought that him making out with different girls in my face was his way of telling me he could care less about me. Who knows though, you are right, anything could be going on in his head.