Was fine until i started seeing a new girl

[gaiden]

I haven't spoken with my ex since our breakup 6 weeks ago.

 

I had been talking with a new girl and we went out for the first time today. Ever since I started talking to this girl a couple weeks ago, I would notice that when I was talking to her, my ex never crossed my mind. I loved that.

 

Well, two hours into our date tonight, I don't know why, but the thought of my ex came rushing back to me and it was something I was afraid was going to blow the date. I was all smiles up till this happened and I don't know where it came from.

 

Has this ever happened to you before? I realize that 6 weeks isn't much time but I honestly thought that if I could make it two weeks without relapsing, I was able to go out on a few dates and it wouldn't harm anything. This worries me. After the date was over, I found myself thinking more about my ex then the girl. I didn't like that at all.

[Surreal_Desire]

well, this exact thing hasn't happened to me but I think this is very normal. It's expected that when you start dating someone new you tend to think of your ex and maybe even compare her to the new girl....it's natural to do so not only because you may have the smallest amount of feeling still somewhere in your heart for your ex, but also as a way of making sure you won't repeat the same mistakes with the new girl. That is, if there were things you realized you don't like about your ex, you may be reviewing them in your mind while being on the date with the new girl just to make sure she doesn't have those same qualities you hate...

 

that's what i think..

[Meow18]

I think it can be normal too. It is normal to think back on times you spent with your ex. And 6 weeks isn't long at all, so you probably do still miss her in ways.

 

Just don't let it bother you. It sounds like you are having a good time with this new girl.

 

The only thing I would worry about is making this new girl a rebound. If you are only trying to fill that lonely feeling of just breaking up with someone.. then chances are that you aren't really thinking straight. And that could lead to choosing to be with this girl when you wouldn't really want to be when thinking straight.

 

But if you feel like you really are interested in this girl, then I would say just keep going out with her.

[valenski]

Its possible your new relationship unconsciously you reminds of your old relationship, maybe its just a phase, part of the break up process. I know I'd used to think of my ex at unexpected and inappropriate times but it faded with time. So give it some time.

[Past2Future]

yea

Happened to me to. I was at a girls apartment, and we start kissing, and bam the memories just flood into my head on how much I miss her and love her, blah blah. Well when I ask her what she is thinking (she had a odd look on her face) she tells me, "you kiss just like my ex." Of course this didnt help either, so I just left, and waited a few months and then started dating again

[kadvati79]

Has this ever happened to you before? I realize that 6 weeks isn't much time but I honestly thought that if I could make it two weeks without relapsing, I was able to go out on a few dates and it wouldn't harm anything. This worries me. After the date was over, I found myself thinking more about my ex then the girl. I didn't like that at all.

I am five months from the breakup with my ex, and I started dating a new guy a few weeks ago. For a start I was fine but as things got more intimate, I started to have the same problems. Push through them, they get less and less and they don't hang around. Remember you loved your ex but you don't love the new person yet - but simply because they haven't been given the chance to win your heart.

 

Take it real easy and slow, you're at the six week mark which is very early. Except setbacks, ask for things to go slow, and just keep out there.

[gaiden]

Thanks again for the info peeps. The more I thought about it, the more I came to think it's just because the last time I was in a romantic situation like that, it was with my ex so it's natural that my ex might come to mind while on a date with someone else. And given enough time, it will pass.

 

I seem to remember this happening with a girl I dated a few years ago. I had broken up with someone that had the same traits as my recent ex and when I started dating the new girl, feelings and thoughts started to bubble up from the previous relationship during dates with the new one. They didn't last long and soon, were gone.

 

I don't believe I'm rebounding. Honestly, I have written off my relationship with my ex. The only thing I truly mourned was the loss of the friendship. There wasn't enough time to build a foundation for anything more because my ex destroyed it as fast as we built it. But as so many of you put so elequently, a real friend would not have been as brazen as she was to me.