one more case of crossdressing

[Kuchel]

Hi

I am old member - just returning to this forum after long time. Quite recently I have this urge of dressing as a woman. This urge goes quite a bit to that extend that I actually like transgender woman. I spend hours trying to get friendly with other transgender woman in Internet.

Little background about me -

I am married and have a kid. I am ok with my family but I cant get the affiliation of transgender from my mind. I have tried different things but it won't just go away. The result to this is I am always unhappy. I feel unsatisfied all the time. I have done weird things to satisfy my want.

I am not sure why it happened and where it started from. Sometimes I get too depressed and hurt me mentally. I feel alone - quite lonely in spite of having a family. Lost of people have told me to discuss with my wife - but I know my wife. It will end in disaster. I know that I cannot take the risk.

Just don't know - what to do. Sometimes I feel I do not know who I am any more.

[melrich]

Lost of people have told me to discuss with my wife - but I know my wife. It will end in disaster. I know that I cannot take the risk.

 

I can understand that. But reality is you cannot live a lie forever. I'd encourage you to get some counselling about your urges, try and get some help to discover how deep they are.

 

Ultimately, if this is who you are you are going to have to discuss it one way or the other with your wife evetually. It less fair to her if you try and continue a marriage with her whilst having these other desires.

[northernlights]

Quite recently I have this urge of dressing as a woman. This urge goes quite a bit to that extend that I actually like transgender woman. I spend hours trying to get friendly with other transgender woman in Internet.

 

The question is, is it attraction for transgender women that makes you want to be with them, or is it admiration that makes you want to be them? Two very different things, but very easy to mix up and confuse with each other. They can also both be true for you.

 

Perhaps you like transgender women because, as you said, you want to be like them and dress like a woman. In this case, telling your wife would be important. Reassure her that just because you want to wear women's clothing doesn't make you gay (unless you also like men) and doesn't make you love her any less. After all, it's not a partner preference thing, it's a clothing/body image preference thing you have for YOURSELF. You never know...maybe your wife would be interested in a little roleplaying. Some couples do that to spice things up, where the man will dress as a woman and fulfil his fantasy. She may freak out at first, but you need to keep reassuring her that it has nothing to do with her ability to satisfy you.

 

What if you're actually attracted to transgender women? This would be a lot harder as it hints that your wife can't satisfy you fully. Would you be able to keep living and sleeping with your wife while having these urges? How strong are they? Would dressing up relieve them, or would you have to go out and be with a transgender woman? These are important things to think about before going further with any plan of action.

[FoxLocke]

Do you actually want to go through the process of becoming an actual woman? Or do you simply have the desire to cross dress? If it's the latter I don't see why that should be any problem...

 

If it's the former then that is a whole other can of worms.

[Kuchel]

Thanks for the help. It looks like there are some questions I need to ask myself - things like do I want to be a woman or I am satisfied with dressing. Well I do not want to be a woman - I like dressing. I like to mix around with transgender woman. I like to dress - not sure the exact reason. I guess it has more to do with fetish. Talking to a good-looking woman (transgender woman) brings up some kind of feelings inside. I don't think I can describe the feelings. For example everyday I come to work first things i do is to check my Yahoo or other chat side to speak to a transgender woman. I get emotionally attached to them. Some time back I used to wear woman's panty inside my usual work clothes. That used to give turn on. All these things - where does it lead to ? Everyday fighting with my urge - sometimes it is quite hard to focus on the things I need.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Maybe you should simply accept this, instead of fighting it. You like to dress like a woman sometimes, that's ok. You like hanging with/talking to trans people, that's ok. Try not to worry about it too much, it won't do any good.