Psycho ex-friend outed me

[Maynard2405]

hey im 17 and just recently my ex-friend and i got in a huuge fight. she was the only person i told i was gay and after we got in the fight she started going around school tellin everyone about me, but the worst part that made me so angry was that she had the nerve to come over my house one day while i was out at the mall and tell my parents i was gay! my parents dont care and neither do my friends but still what should i do?

[007]

This person betrayed your trust. Nothing they do can ever make up for this.

 

Being the age that you are right now, people are often immature...my advice is just be yourself. There is nothing wrong with being who you are...gay/straight/whatever.

 

Your "friend" deserves to have their a*s whooped though.

 

-007

[northernlights]

The good thing is that no one your friend told cares that you're gay. So that's a great thing, and now whatever anxieties/fears you might have had about outing yourself have been resolved without you lifting a finger. You're lucky to have such great friends and parents! (of course, I understand that coming out to people is a big life experience which you might feel your friend stole from you. If this is the case, don't worry, you'll have pleeeenty of coming out experiences to go through over the course of your life. Such is our society.)

 

The bad thing is...well, your friend. For one thing, in the future, never ever make up with this friend. She betrayed your trust once, and it sounds like she's a selfish immature person who will do it again.

 

You want to know what to do. Don't go telling your friend's secrets to get back at her, but be the mature one. Talk to her ONCE...tell her how immature it was for her to share such a private secret with everyone. Tell her that you confided in her because you trusted her, and she betrayed your trust. If you can, try to keep a straight face when you tell her. I know it's hard, but when you don't attach emotions, such as anger or sadness, it makes you look all the stronger and it will probably make her feel all the worse. She probably wants to you to be raving mad or really sad. If she sees you as indifferent, she'll feel like a complete idiot. (at least one would hope) And then tell her you don't tolerate people who don't know how to resolve a fight/issue MATURELY, and leave.

 

I think this is a good option and better than ignoring her or pretending nothing happened, because it gives you closure without giving her satisfaction. I have a tendency to ignore people who hurt me or pretend they never hurt me, and it just backfires in the end. Then I end up getting really angry at them, yelling at them, and they of course love it that they hurt me like they had planned. Don't give people like that the satisfaction, because you're better than that!

[Entomon]

If your parents and friends are open to your sexual orientation then you don't need to do anything. Be proud of who you are because there is only one of you.

[007]

Sun Kissed...great advice....and smile.

 

-007

[Entomon]

Sun Kissed...great advice....and smile.

 

-007

 

Hahaha - thanks, James!

[007]

Haha! You're welcome, Sun Kissed!

[Tigris]

I know what it feels like to be outed by a friend. It happened to me last year on Christmas Eve. The only reason I took her out to the pub for a drink was because I felt sorry for her because she was going to be all alone on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Plus she had discovered previously that before her daughter was taken into care she'd been raped by my friend's boyfriend.

 

She 'outed me' infront of some of my Mother's extended family! That meant I had to tell my Father (my Mother's dead). My Father wasn't supposed to find out. I'd been threatened by one of my younger sisters that if he ever found out she would stop me seeing my nephew (her son) and they would disown me.

 

Anyway I had no choice but to tell him before a family member did at two upcoming special occasion parties.

 

I think he took it rather well but he filled up with tears and so did I.

 

I've stopped being friends with her and she's my next door neighbour!