What is teh best way out in this case?

[SabrinaEr]

I was with my ex bf at about year. There was of course something good, something worse days but recently I thought that was better than before. He was tender... he was showing respect to me, I was sure that leading to good way. I go home (I live in another city than my ex) and there was 2 days we didn't see, there was no contact- that was normal for me...BUT... 3rd day I receive SMS from him that he is sorry but here is another girl between us who is more interesting than me and we must break contact between us. I was very surprise and desperate but I try to think wisely and I remind that I shouldn't write to him, no contact. Now, I have a lot thoughts in my mind. It's my 3 day NC and I try to be hard. If he is with another girl is there hope he will miss me? Why he was that tender to me before? What could I do to get him back?

[justme1]

Sounds like he has moved on...and told you so in a harsh way. I'd work on NC as much as possible.

 

It's hard when you want someone and they don't want you!

At another point in your life, you will have the same happen to you.

When it does, do you want a clean break that's easy? Or do you want the person to act all clingy? No means no!

 

You'll appreciate the people you breakup with that say "Ok!, later"

 

Realize it's not all about you or him 100% Accept the situation and reality and the present. Respect their wishes. If he feels like contacting you down the road, then you have the ability to decide whether or not YOU want to see him! Chances are you won't!

 

Take care

[Hope75]

Hey Girl,

 

Welcome to enotalone! I'm sorry that this is what brought you here, sounds like a tough situation.

 

My first thoughts that are although you say he "acted respectful" to you, having another girl and what he said to you does not indicate respect.

 

I would say that rather than waiting around to see if he changes his mind and reconsiders you, the best course of action is to demand the respect that you deserve by removing yourself from the situation and remaining with NC. Are you worth more than having to wait around while he sees another girl who he thinks is more interesting than you?

 

What he said was just cruel, and you deserve more than that.

 

Don't let someone make you feel as though you are second best.

[SabrinaEr]

But....I don't understand why (before he send me that sms) he was good for me, tender...that looks like he wants to be with me and he treats me like I'm valuable person...and after 2 days he send me that... Maybe he wasn't sure what he could do- choose me or her.... and maybe he will understand that was mistake that he chose her. I don't know...but I see now that NC is the best way , n I hope it help him to see how right we are together.

 

P.S. Sorry for my english...maybe some facts aren't so understand but that is cause I'm Polish

[justme1]

aren't easily understood sounds better.

 

Don't cry...if he comes back to you then you can make up your mind if you want him. IF that day comes, you might not want him back!

 

We all bounce around and date, and love. Be happy you dated him. You will connect again or connect with someone else soon.

 

We are all trying to connect and you must keep trying to find the one or the closest thing to the one.

You can't read somone's mind. People change. You change. Once you love yourself and be happy you will love easier and let go easier.

Letting go is the hardest part. The funny thing is it's the easiest part. All of what we do in the beginning...learning...the situations...the getting to know someone is hard. Learning limits in someone...figuring them out...that's a challenge.

 

Letting go of someone that wants to go in a new direction is easy. Smile and wave.

 

When you are together you are still an individual. You are always you.

 

You are only interacting closely with another organism.

 

I miss my ex gf that left me but she left me for a reason. If it was because of me or if it was because of her doesn't matter. I'm happy for my experience with her. She is no longer close to me. But I know of her. I knew her. That means a lot. Out of all the people in the world, I spent time with her. I'm happy I had the experience.

 

Love yourself above all...you sleep alone most of the time and sometimes you get to sleep near someone.

[SabrinaEr]

Thank you, that all was very helpful to sort my thoughts. That is true, we learn how to live with other people and we must accept that we may don't be perfect for that person n we should remember that it all is not depend only from us.

[Hope75]

For me the bottom line is that while he was putting up this front with you, he was also pursuing/interested in another girl, whom he ultimately chose over you. While that is his choice, it's not fair for you to be waiting around to see if he changes his mind.

 

You are worth more than being second best!

[SabrinaEr]

After 9 days of no contact he send me at night sms: "How are you?" - I'm polish so i don't know if that is good translation- he want from me that I write him what hear of me, what I'm doing etc. I din't response and after 3 or 4 hours he send me signal. I didn't response too. Now, i know that he is thinking about me but I don't feel it's enough yet. I want wait longer but I ' m little worry: what if he will not contact me again?

[Hope75]

Unless he sends you a text telling you he is sorry, not pursuing other women anymore, only interested in you, and willing to work hard to prove that to you, I'd ignore any attempts he has to contact you.

 

NC is not to get someone's attention and get them back, it's about moving forward without the other around so you have a chance to heal and move on, and let them go.

 

Why would you even want to give a guy a chance again, especially after he told you he was going to pursue a girl who more interesting than you, after a year together?

 

I know I wouldn't, but that's just me.

[saltwatergirl]

I'd ignore it all. He disrespected you, and threw you away for some other girl as if you were meaningless to him. Don't give him another opportunity to do it again. Move on and find someone else who values having you in his life and isn't always in search of greener grass.

 

Salt

[Mr. Stealth]

Let him be that stupid girl.

Im a man i know how they can be and i know how stupid we can be.

I also made my faults whitch i regret very mutch.

I lost the girl i loved most of all for some stupid reason.

Now listen to me. let him be. Let him be as stupid as he can.

One time he will realise that that other girl maybe isnt that great as he tought.and than he will look around to find you back. but then its up to you if you want him back or not.

One thing i know is, that if someone really loves you, you will never let him down for someone else.

I think you diserve someone better.

If he lets you down that easily then i think he is a player.

 

Greetz, from the stupid man who didn't knew he could give some wise advise