I'm in love but I don't know what to do about it!

[pi_anochik]

Hi...anyways, here's my story. A few months ago I fell for a guy. I don't know him that well, and I don't know WHY I'm so in love with him. Sometimes it feels like lust, but not near always. I also don't think it's physical lust because I don't even think he's that cute physically. It's like mental lust...which feels like love. It just feels so RIGHT when I'm around him. It's so frustrating because I feel like I belong with him, but I can't bring myself to tell him. I just freeze up when I start to say something. What's worse is that it's my older cousin's best friend. He's also friends with my older brothers. I just always feel so lost all the time and I'm so confused. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I should just go for it, use subtle ways to show him I like him, or just drop it altogether (though I've tried) It's like an obsession almost! I would do ANYTHING to not like him anymore and just be able to forget about him, but i CAN'T and I've tried and it just hurts so much either way. I don't know what to do about it anymore. It's starting to control my moods and I just feel so frustrated and despairing. Any advice would be helpful (well, please don't just tell me I'm a nutcase lunatic that need's to grow up...this I already know )

[secret_agent_man]

Hi pi_anochik!

 

Something to remember... you can't just decide to stop feelings like this when there's really nothing wrong yet in the situation! I know you already realize that, though.

 

My best suggestion is, if you think he may be attracted to you already, pull him aside quietly some time and just tell him you have a crush on him. Obviously, don't do it in front of your brothers or cousins... that would put him on the spot.

 

Another option... ask him out on a "date". Say something like: "Hey, wanna go to see a movie with me?", or "Hey, wanna go grab a bite to eat?". It'll seem like a friendly gesture, and break the ice pretty easily. Then, you can feel out the situation, and spend some time alone with him to read his feelings...

 

Just my 2 cents, good luck!!!

S.A.M.

[charmed]

Hi Pianochick !

 

Firstly - this guy is friends with your older cousin - is there any reason that a relationship would not work? You sound like you don't even want it to work - and you just want to stop the feelings. You have to decide which of these you are going to run with. If you want to go for it - I would suggest more subtle body language advances, and possibly more as guys really don't notice body language that much unless you point it out to them !!

 

If you want to get him out of your head - you have to isolate why he is in your head in the first place. What is it about his person that you like so much. Figure this out, and then you may be able to get your head around it.

 

You sound very negative about being with him - so I would advise you to think strongly about getting involved with him !

 

Hope this helps you some

 

~Charmed~

[pi_anochik]

Thanks guys, and don't get me wrong, I would absolutely love to be with him, I'm just so afraid of rejection and don't have very much self-esteem. I can't see him wanting to be with me. Also, about my cousin and brothers, they probably wouldn't take me seriously and would probably laugh at me if he did reject me. (They're like that. I love them and viceversa, but we aren't that close and they've always teased me and mde fun of me) I'm just so scared, and I guess that's why I come off as negative about it. It's more I'm negative about myself, not him.

It's just scaring me because I've never felt like this before but I've liked plenty of guys before this, just not this intense. Once again, thanks to all of you because it helps alot just to not be told that I'm a weirdo freak...lol. I'll try to use you're advice to the best way I can. Thanks!