fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 i guess this is more of a sex question compared to relationship. or both. thing is, is sex important in the any stage of a relationship, in particular, the initial stage? ive been seeing this guy i mentioned..while we're kissing, petting was also involved and i can tell that he wants more than that. (we were fully clothed) i admit that i enjoyed what he did..and it doesnt bother me at all but it gets me thinking (as usual) i mean i plan to be celibate until..i dont know..i cant control? so is what they say true? that if he wants you, he can wait? or? Link to comment
PRSOV Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Yes if he respects your feelings he will wait until you are ready to take it to the next level... Stick with what you are doing now until you do feel that you are ready, if he isn't prepared to wait until then, then he isn't the right guy for you. PR Link to comment
melrich Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Just make sure you clearly communicate with him your feelings about sex and being ready for it. If he can't accept your terms then he has his own decision to make but at least you guys will be upfront with each other and both parties will know what they are getting into. Link to comment
Meow18 Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 I agree with PRSOV. You should never let a guy use the excuse that he will explode or something. Or let him bribe you by saying he will leave you unless you have sex with him. He probably does want more with you. He's obviously attracted to you. But if he really loves you, he will want to wait. Waiting will be worth it to him. Have you talked to him about this? You seem to be worried about this stuff, you have been asking for advice on it quite a bit. Link to comment
NKP Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 If he loves and respect you he will wait until you are ready Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 I agree with PRSOV. You should never let a guy use the excuse that he will explode or something. Or let him bribe you by saying he will leave you unless you have sex with him. He probably does want more with you. He's obviously attracted to you. But if he really loves you, he will want to wait. Waiting will be worth it to him. Have you talked to him about this? You seem to be worried about this stuff, you have been asking for advice on it quite a bit. hes not bribing me at all. he sometimes asks me why wait? i just tell him "not yet". when he's dry humping me..i could tell he wants more.. i had to say no coz i wasnt ready yet. (i know its tough for a guy) but at times i really want to experience it you know..but again, i was scared. i guess its just me, or i need to talk more about this issue with him. sometimes he teases me and says that he'll wont give up yet..until i give in.. i have absolutely almost no knowledge on the act itself and all. he knows that coz we've talked abt it as ive told him that im a virgin. i hope waiting will be worth it. yeah im worried about this stuffs coz ive never been in this kinda relationship..we're not yet together but you know..the feeling is different from my previous crushes.. and furthermore the society im living in.. its kinda..tabboo? and we dont just discuss this issue openly. Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 thanks for the replies guys. i really appericiate it. it draws up to the waiting bit. and until both parties agrees on doing it. Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 geez my bad, i just realised that the thread's topic is wrong. its WILL he wait. not WILL he'll wait. Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 If he respects you he will wait. And by him waiting for you, it shows that you are something special worth waiting for. I'm making my bf wait, as tough as it is. We have long distance relationship too and so he'll frequently drive a few hours out to see me, and this way I know its to see me and spend time with me not to get sex. It makes me feel good. I won't make him wait till marriage or nothing, I mean I've done this stuff before, but I wouldn't have realized how much I meant to him if I didn't make him wait. So I think its a good idea. Link to comment
PRSOV Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 You aren't ready for sex yet, which is totally fine... and something he needs to respect. I don't like the fact that he keeps asking you why don't you have sex, he should be understanding of the fact that you aren't ready for this level of intimacy yet. This says that you haven't talked about it as a couple yet, which is something I think you need to sort out reasonably soon. PR Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 You aren't ready for sex yet, which is totally fine... and something he needs to respect. I don't like the fact that he keeps asking you why don't you have sex, he should be understanding of the fact that you aren't ready for this level of intimacy yet. This says that you haven't talked about it as a couple yet, which is something I think you need to sort out reasonably soon. PR dont worry i will =) Link to comment
Meow18 Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Wait.. is he a boyfriend, or just a guy that you are seeing? Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 Wait.. is he a boyfriend, or just a guy that you are seeing? uhmm..oh god. weve been seeing each other for quite a bit.. but i didnt want to be together just yet (he did ask several times) coz he'll be leaving for europe soon for 3 !@#$$ months! Link to comment
Meow18 Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 uhmm..oh god. weve been seeing each other for quite a bit.. but i didnt want to be together just yet (he did ask several times) coz he'll be leaving for europe soon for 3 !@#$$ months! How long do you want to wait to be boyfriend and girlfriend? I mean, you are doing everything that people who are in love, and in a relationship should be doing.. Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 How long do you want to wait to be boyfriend and girlfriend? I mean, you are doing everything that people who are in love, and in a relationship should be doing.. well..i thought that since we'll have a hiatus..(3 months or so) i want to try it again after he comes back. its awful i know. but it will hurt even more knowing tat i wont have him when i needed him coz we're just starting to bud..and then hes not ther? so im just a friend now..and i guess itll convince myself that..its ok (yes, i hate it when i think like that) if hes not here when i need him and all.. i dont know how to explain.. Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 If he respects you he will wait. And by him waiting for you, it shows that you are something special worth waiting for. I'm making my bf wait, as tough as it is. We have long distance relationship too and so he'll frequently drive a few hours out to see me, and this way I know its to see me and spend time with me not to get sex. It makes me feel good. I won't make him wait till marriage or nothing, I mean I've done this stuff before, but I wouldn't have realized how much I meant to him if I didn't make him wait. So I think its a good idea. just like mine. i cant drive yet and we live more than an hours drive. it suks coz he has to do all the driving..and its as if im making him wait too. he'll come over and take me to his place..we spend our time together..and after that he sends me home. sometimes he reaches home at 3am i hate that. its as if im being very dependent on him when i want to meet him. but if he took all the trouble and drove all the way just to have sex with me, ill know..just like what you sed. and yeah, he genuinely wants to spend more time. nopes, i wont make him wait until marriage..but when i feel the time is right ive never done it bfore. Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 If he loves and respect you he will wait until you are ready gotcha..=) Link to comment
Meow18 Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Even though you label yourself "just friends", isn't that feeling of caring about him so much still there? I mean, I'm not trying to say that you are being stupid with what you are choosing. You have every right to do that. And it's not a totally bad decision, I can see what you mean. But wouldn't you rather him go away knowing that you mean something more to each other than "just friends"? And that feeling of wanting him around will still be there. Your feelings are that you obviously like him. That's not going to change no matter what you call yourselves.. and no matter what side of the world he is on. Sorry about that.. if you are happy with where things are, and being considered just a friend, then that's totally ok. But why do the things that you should only do when in a relationship? Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 You aren't ready for sex yet, which is totally fine... and something he needs to respect. I don't like the fact that he keeps asking you why don't you have sex, he should be understanding of the fact that you aren't ready for this level of intimacy yet. This says that you haven't talked about it as a couple yet, which is something I think you need to sort out reasonably soon. PR i know i am not..and yeah i agree that thats something he needs to respect.. until i am ready. uhm..i think i used the wrong vocab there. i mean he did ask me afew times..as in..a handful? uhmm y'know? but i appericiate that =) yeah we havent exactly talked abt it as a couple yet.. partly because we arent one YET.. but as for the other part, ill sort it out next week when i see him. Link to comment
fantasy9 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 Even though you label yourself "just friends", isn't that feeling of caring about him so much still there? I mean, I'm not trying to say that you are being stupid with what you are choosing. You have every right to do that. And it's not a totally bad decision, I can see what you mean. But wouldn't you rather him go away knowing that you mean something more to each other than "just friends"? And that feeling of wanting him around will still be there. Your feelings are that you obviously like him. That's not going to change no matter what you call yourselves.. and no matter what side of the world he is on. Sorry about that.. if you are happy with where things are, and being considered just a friend, then that's totally ok. But why do the things that you should only do when in a relationship? i am so glad that you understand my side. i thought that if we were to be together..in that 3 months or so wouldnt mean that much..(but nevertheless something..i know) as in..memorable and all. im kinda a hopeless romantic..i wont have him with me..spending time..those things. i thought when a relationship is beginning to grow, we should spend time together..not away.. we do things that we shud do in a relationship..well, i dont know why i did it. but it jz feels..right? yes i know it sounds stupid. ive never been kissed until recently..he even had to guide me and i thought its ok to french kiss a friend..for starters i mean. i do want him to know that we're more than just friends when he's away..but it hurts sometimes knowing that i wont have him until he comes back. my other side kept on telling me that if we're friends, then fine. no reason to be upset about. dont get me wrong..i see your point..and gosh why didnt i think about that uhm.. just in case i need help, how would i knw how to initiate to him that "yes... we'll be official from no onwards" sounds dumb some might say..but i dunno. i do not like the idea that gals do it.. (its just me) Link to comment
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