Confusion about a close friend

[sexyguy2004]

I have this close friend that I have known throughout college (he is a sophomore and I am a junior). This summer we are both working on campus and have beceome extremely close. He is cute, but more importatntly we have grown an incredible bond. Not a day goes by that I dont see him or talk to him. Our other friends often jokingly say that we are gay...and its funny how close we have become! We like in apartments next to eachother and he practically lives with me. When some1 walks into my apartment my roomates are often like hey Ben (LOL..just assuming its him)...and when I walk into his apartment his roommates often giggle or somethin..i even heard them say "told u, look" and i can only assume they are talkn bout us.

When we chilll we often wrestle, play in my opinion showing some form of affection without being 'gay'. I often get so aroused that I have to end it. We dont do as much around ppl that we do alone...but we do enough that ppl notice it...the other day my friend was like "i wish the two of u stop makn out homos" and we didnt say ne thing!

We actually recently linked our AIM screen names! LMAO...and on his facebook profile it doesnt say lookn for male/female? IDK

today we were wrestling and like a few times in the past...he ended up layn on me...accross me and held my hand ("preventin me from punchn") and we laid there for about 10 min..we looked @ eachothers eyes as we talkd...it was so hot...

I have taken the entire summer to think about it, and i kno that i really do like him....and im ready to pursue something! im not quite sure if he is gay/bi or not...but the signs are there! wat are small non major ways to get him to react or initiate somethin with him without takn too many risks?

 

we sometimes play in eachothers hair...and sometimes lay in the same (twin) bed close, and usually just wrestle...i really would like to try something!

 

tough thing...we have a lot of friends in common includn guys in my frat that all do not kno i am gay/bi!

 

some1 plz give me advice, comments or something thanx

[patient_strawberries]

I may not be a guy, but I can tell you that he is most definitely gay and most definitely interested in you.

 

100% straight guys don't do all that stuff you described. Really, they don't. They would probably rather stick their hand in hot boiling water than do that. Plus, all that wrestling sounds like incredible sexual tension to me. And how he lay on top of you and held your hand and talked to you for 10 minutes? Definite attraction! Think about it, would you do that to anyone you didn't like? More likely, would *anyone* do that to anyone they didn't like?

 

I say the next time you're wrestling, if you want to be bold, kiss him. I mean, it really really looks like he's obviously gay, or at least bi, and obviously into you. If that's too bold, have a one-on-one talk with him. Talk about relationships. Hint around that you might be gay or bi. (Refer to "people" instead of "girls" when talking about who you want to have relationships with, hint that you'r open to relationships with all diff. kinds of people, so on. If he's straight, I don't know if he'd actually pick up on the hints. And if he's gay, well he'll so pick up on the hints) Then when you get the sense that you've hinted enough, tell him you're attracted to him. Or sit really close to him, brush his hand, and see how he reaacts. If he doesn't move away, he's definitely into you and you can tell him. I mean, I imagine that attraction works the same whether your male, female, straight, gay, bi... if you like someone, you'll want to be near them beyond the personal bubble. If you don't, you'll move away. Doesn't matter your sexuality here.

[Süsser Tod]

OMG you're soy gay! I a good way. See, if both of you weren't gay, you wouldn't be behaving like that. You know he turns you on, sexually, so at least you're bisexual, and he does not try to avoid that situations, and he also encourages them, so he is also at least bisexual.

 

Come on, at least come out of the closet to him, start dating him and be happy, enjoy it.

[sexyguy2004]

haha yes i kno that i am not sure about him though! hmm...just a side note....or some suggestions b4 i leave! today we are gonna cook dinner together and then go out to watch fireworks together...just the 2 of us some1 help me out

 

to respond to the 2...

yeah i when he held my hand it was really to restrain me from gettn up...i wanta try to hint at him..talkn bout past relationships etc...but im a bit nervous and yeah there is def sexual tension of between us!

i wish i could just come out to him so that we can start dating...but its not that easy...although there are signs im still not completely sure..and we have a lot of friends in common (that do not kno about me)...however, i do want to start dating him and b happy

[Süsser Tod]

Your wrestling, and phisical closeness, is a good indicator of his homosexuality. A straight man would freak out immediately if you behaved like that and draw a line. He is not doing that, he is allowing you to and he encourages it, it can't be clearer than that.

 

Oh, and cooking dinner for both of you, isn't that a date, without being called a date? Yes, I've cooked dinner before with straight friends, but it was more like, "we're hungry, lets have somethign to eat before going out to...", we didn't agreed to go to someones house to cook dinner.

Add the "going to watch fireworks together, just the two of you".

 

Doesn't that sound A LOT like a date? Come on, try to make a move on him today.

[FoxLocke]

Sexyguy, I'm sorry but the two of you are totally gay. lol. Who cares what your frat brothers think. The two of you should just hook up and be boyfriends!

[Süsser Tod]

Sexyguy, I'm sorry but the two of you are totally gay. lol. Who cares what your frat brothers think. The two of you should just hook up and be boyfriends!

 

LOL! It is completely obvious. Guess the only two that don't think so are they. And why are you sorry, there is nothign to be sorry about, sorry would be for him to be dating a girl, talk about an unfullfilling relationship for both.

[Tigris]

I agree a straight guy wouldn't let you do any of those.

 

The other thing is when you were fighting and rolling around on the floor he'd have felt your arousal. Straight guys would've jumped up straight away and give you funny looks or threaten to punch you if you do anything like that again.

 

It sounds like you two will be having fun soon.

[northernlights]

Haha, you guys are too cute. And too gay. But that's good.

 

Really, stop doubting it. Like everyone said, a straight guy would have freaked out long ago.

 

And I think it's obvious he's attracted to you. Go on your date and kiss him while watching the fireworks. (or earlier) Or just take his hand and hold it. That's a nice slow move to do without coming out to him, since personally...I think he probably already knows you're gay.

 

I know it's hard, but screw what anyone else thinks. You two are too cute to care about that.

[sexyguy2004]

thanx for the responses every1...i really need them! as for tonite...everything went well...and then in the middle of our dinner a friend calld who lives closeby and askd to stop by because her power was out...she said" aww this is very romantic, the 2 of u are cute (we didnt comment)! we watchd a movie...and we began to wrestle again...then i ended up on the same bed that he was on...@ first he told me to go back and sit down (instead of wrestling)...but i just laid there...and he laid his leg accoss my chest and i held his arm...then his hand...and we laid there watchn the movie (our friend said "aww this is cute, r u two makn out, and i should probably go"...after a few min he let go of my hand though lol so yeah later tonite...just moments ago we began to wrestle again and my friend was like "seriously are you two gay, if so its cool" we just ignored it as if we didnt hear it...and he held my hands pulln me out of the kitchen and my apartment mate said "aww, isnt that cute"...we als went biking tonite! i should have kissd him...and i thought about it a few times! idk...im tryn to make the move..i do wanta b with him thanx every1 for sayn its cute..its really not, lol so much anticipation..im just ready

 

commentn on a few comments

...i always wonderd if he felt me gettn aroused..pretty noticeable lol! i had to push him off of me a few times when i noticed me gettn aroused!

...today wrestling was extra physical...a lot of just holdn eachother and lockn legs etc.

...i kno i shouldnt care about the guys in my frat...but im president (this upcoming yr) and they really have no clue

...haha we do all of our meals together, he even shows up and stays @ work with me and I do the same with him (we work @ the same place but have different hours)

...i guess partially i am in denial about him probably being gay too...but still that small chance u kno!

OMG I cannot remember the last time i was this attracted to some1...he just left and im gonna go to bed now!

 

PLEASE KEEP THE COMMENTS COMING!

THANX ALOT I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!

..i wouldnt mind talkn to some of u 1 on 1 on aim or somethin, but our screen names are linkd...lol, mayb yahoo messenger

[jon 13]

lol i think the guys in your frat house have an idea. lol and just go in for the kiss... im sure he'd love it and prolly return the favour 8D

[sexyguy2004]

haha well the guys in my frat my have a slight idea...but they dont kno

and they would still be shocked! i do wanta kiss him (im so afraid...and hopefully he will return the favor! as usual, i am gonna see him today when i get off of work, and we are gonna do dinner again

KEEP THE POSTS COMING! thanx a lot ppl!

[sexyguy2004]

haha so im @ work now 12-6am and he doesnt work unitl 6am...but decided to come n and chill with me! hilarious i kno...tonite we playd around in the fountain together (so much fun ) u kno i wonder...wat if he really isnt gay...and im takn some of the things we do as if he is bcuz im attractd to him (kinda makn a big deal of out nothing)?

[Süsser Tod]

haha so im @ work now 12-6am and he doesnt work unitl 6am...but decided to come n and chill with me! hilarious i kno...tonite we playd around in the fountain together (so much fun ) u kno i wonder...wat if he really isnt gay...and im takn some of the things we do as if he is bcuz im attractd to him (kinda makn a big deal of out nothing)?

 

Puhhllleaassee....

 

 

No straight guy would engage in those activities with you. You both are totally gay, but you are scared to hell about him rejecting you. Why? Well, I would like to know, he can't stay away from you but you think he will reject you? Come on.

[sexyguy2004]

...wat if thats just how he is...perhaps he is just a playful person? IDK

yesturday one of our friends said "i like how the two of you cant keep your hands off of eachother...i wonder what you guys do when im not here" and we ignored it...then she made another comment and he said "its wrestling and fighting...not touchy feely stuff"...wat if he just likes my company and to be around me? idk...

i stayd @ his shift today 6-9am with him!

yes i am scared to be rejected...wat if i do gather the guts to kiss him and he's like "what are you doing" or somethin? i would lose a gr8 friend there is that slim chance that he isnt you know? i kno ima little b*tch lol..but idk! i wish i were braver!

ahhhhhhhhhh im so attracted to him!!!!!!

[Süsser Tod]

OK, then don't cry when he gets a boyfriend.

[sexyguy2004]

haha, aww...dont say that and i doubt that he would! i've been thinkn lately and im afraid he is the type thats gay/bi...but afraid to give in to his feelings....i feel like he would have to be pushd (meaning i'd have to b a bit more aggressive)! honestly, i dont kno if he has ever been with anyone...and on his facebook profile it doesnt say attracted to male/female or interested in male/female or anything...no sexual preference at all...ppl usually put something up! idk...im tryn to b a bit more aggressive and it has workd...im just gonna have to continue! susser tod..ur so brave lol

[Tigris]

I still say he's gay! What are you waiting for? Kiss him.

 

If he doesn't want to he'll only push you away and that will give you a chance to sort out the boundaries.

 

Good luck

[Süsser Tod]

im just gonna have to continue! susser tod..ur so brave lol

 

 

I learnt the hard way. She gave me all the clues she wanted to be my gf, she made the situations so I could kiss her, etc. But I was scared to hell, and never made a move, so yes, she got tired/bored and found someone else.

[sexyguy2004]

i see...similar situation...so put urself in my situation...

dont u think its a bit more difficult considering im gay and he may not be?

[Süsser Tod]

i see...similar situation...so put urself in my situation...

dont u think its a bit more difficult considering im gay and he may not be?

 

No, you both are totally gay.

[northernlights]

No, you both are totally gay.

 

And Sexyguy, if you argue with that point again, we're all going to have to smack you. (But only because we care, of course. )

[sexyguy2004]

haha i understand..and seriously i dont know why im being afraid...

right now we are at work...both working at the same shift! we just fought and wrestled...so much fun...as soon as the ppl down here went to bed we started to fight! i had him pinned down and we talkd lookn into eachothers eyes..i started to go for the kiss...then we wrestled...and i overpowerd him...so i had his arms behind his back and i was behind him (in a very sexual way) and we wrestled...then he sat on my lap...and bounced up and down lol! he just went to lay down for a bit so i thought i'd check this and see who responds...

so next wk i think we are gonna take off a day of work to go out and spend the day together!

 

guys...dont be mad with me..i should have gone for the kiss tonite..especially when we were wrestling and he was on top of me with our heads inches away...or with him in front of me and my face on his neck or somethin

sorry i suck...again!

[Tigris]

Well at least you've progressed. Better luck next time.

[sexyguy2004]

...k so I'll start with this...today I ran my 1st race...EVER! and im proud to say that I came in 4th place wow..running is not easy for a beginner lol!

 

k...back to the usual! Today we didnt see eachother all day...so we called eachother a few times and tonite when i returned from the race and showered he came over! We cooked dinner and as usual watched tv...and began to "wrestle"...after a while we ended up on the same bed (startn to happen more and more)...and it ended up with us tangled in eachothers lims holding hands...it was so cute! LMAO...but really it felt so nice to be that close to him feeling his warmth! and we didnt move...we just laid there...when we talked...we looked into eachothers eyes...and it was so hot! i wanted to kiss him...but again i didnt! after a while he got up and sat in the chair...

now i feel like he is gay/bi or curious and sometimes pushes those feelings away as if he is afraid! but other times...i feel like he is waiting for me!

i've been thinkn a lot...and we play around so much...wat if i just pecked him to see how he reacts and say i was jokn if it doesnt work out?

seriously, i havent been this attracted to some1 in a very long time...in fact i think @ all..idk lemme think bout that! but yeah i do want to be with him, i like him so much