justpaisley Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 OK, to the point. Most women do not masturbate unless grossly dissatisfied. Hey, whoa, hang on there. I may be naive, but I really don't think this is true. My husband and I have an active and satisfying sex life, but sometimes he's just not around. He does have to work, after all. I am by no means dissatisfied. Sometimes it's just about finding alone time, feeling sexy, and having a little fun. onmyownagain: Please don't think your wife is masturbating because she's not satisfied with you. If your sex life is as satisfying as you say, she's probably just doing it to experience something only she can do for herself. I know that for me, orgasms are different while masturbating than when having sex with my husband, and only I can administer the right pressure at the right times because while my husband knows my body extraordinarily well, he just can't feel what I feel. It's not that the orgasms are better while masturbating... just different. And no, it's not necessarily a flaw in your marriage that she doesn't want to masturbate in front of you. Let her know that it turns you on, and if she doesn't like the idea, just accept that there are things that are private and move on. You don't HAVE to do everything in front of each other in order to have a completely happy marriage. I sure don't poop in front of my husband. Some things are private, and should remain that way. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 ... I never masturbated because I was dissatisfied as we have a great sex life, it was because I was highly aroused and he wasn't here to "relieve" me... ... When I am on a trip > 1 week, I masturbate and my gf does too. Otherwise she does not and me neither. ... You made my point, thank you. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 You made my point, thank you. I hardly call that grossly dissatisfied, would you? What about my point? Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Why do I have to argue about female feelings with females?. Hope, I see you as an exception but accept your position because you are a woman and as I am unable to analyze the quality of your orgasms. Paisley, "when he is not around" makes my point too. ... and both of you have not participated in my poll. Upsetwifeofone did and she does orgasm. onmyownagain, anyway, lets close the subject. I do not have to be right, I just wish you are not wrong. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I hardly call that grossly dissatisfied, would you?... OK, I settle that and edit my post. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Why do I have to argue about female feelings with females?. Hope, I see you as an exception but accept your position because you are a woman and as I am unable to analyze the quality of your orgasms. Paisley, "when he is not around" makes my point too. ... and both of you have not participated in my poll. Upsetwifeofone did and she does orgasm. onmyownagain, anyway, lets close the subject. I do not have to be right, I just wish you are not wrong. LOL, ok let's give this thread back to the OP. Didn't realize I had to participate in a poll to be satsfied with my love life. Link to comment
Considerate Empath Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I am not some 16 year old who hasn't a clue. Aoch! Hehe, j/k //C.E. Link to comment
onmyownagain Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Sorry about that CE, I am sure you are a great lover Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Sorry about that CE, I am sure you are a great lover Bahh, you see what you get, I thought of him when I replied politely. You may look up some of his posts... Link to comment
Upsetwifeofone Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 *Doh*, excuse my ignorance but I am highly confused now lol. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 *Doh*, excuse my ignorance but I am highly confused now lol. With regard to? Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Do NOT tape your wife without her knowledge. I would feel extremely violated by that, and given the fact you JUST reconciled recently, I think the last thing you should be doing is causing issues of mistrust and violating HER private time. Yes, you *should* be able to discuss it, but she just may not be comfortable doing so if it's a private thing for her. A couple does not have to do EVERYTHING in front of one another. You can be satisfied sexually and still masturbate alone, or together. It is not a reflection on your partner. Many women, like men, started masturbating early on in life and did it because it feels good, and sometimes it's nice just to get "in touch" with yourself. It helps you sleep better, reduces cramping during periods and it's not JUST about the "sexual release" all the time. Orgasms are not quite the same from one to the other, nor from masturbation in comparison to sex. One is not "better" than the other as you are comparing entirely different things. Sex is not just about the orgasm, it's the experience. So is masturbation, but in a different way. It also in no way means she is dissatisfied with her sex life with you - she may be dissatisfied, but it's not the case that because she masturbates she must be. Again do NOT videotape her, I cannot even describe how violated, offended, hurt and just plain ticked off I would be if I found out someone was doing that without my consent! Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 You aren't a pervert dude. You just want to watch your wife masterbate. I think that's healthy, if nothing else. In my opinion, I'd be bothered by the fact she views sexual expression as a private thing that she won't share with her husband. Link to comment
hardcharger Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 you are disgusting, not for wanting to watch your wife masturbate, but for even considering to film her without her knowledge. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 My wife likes to masturbate but doesn't like to talk about it and sees it as a very private thing, I only found out she did it for sure after many years of marriage when I found her vibrator. I would like to set up a web cam to film this for myself just to see how she does it and admit this turns me on a lot If you do that- you will DESTROY all of the trust that is in your current relationship. If she's afraid to open up to you about masterbation now, doing something thoughtless and horrible like that will just make her never open up to you. If you're banking on the idea that "she won't find out"- that is even more unethical. Your idea is downright low and wrong. If someone did that to me I'd divorce them. BellaDonna Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 First of all... NO WAY TO THE VIDEO CAMERA... I can't even begin to tell you how very very very ticked I'd be at this invasion of my privacy. Second... the whole masterbation thing... I think thats why they call it masterbation.. its a solo thing.. and I would agree, private. I think most of us.. over 30, grew up with the myths that we'd go blind if we did it. That it was dirty or bad, amoral and not normal. But we did it anyway... nature calls. I understand how you feel about wanting to see it, experience it etc... and I'm glad you were able to articulate that to your wife. The fact of the matter is..she still has a right to her privacy and has a right to not have you involved. Don't hold that against her eh. Just as she shouldn't hold it against you for asking... no harm no foul. But the Vid Cam thing... GET RID OF THOSE TAPES... burn them.. ditch them... do it before she finds it or you will catch all sorts of untold grief. Link to comment
onmyownagain Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Hi, I haven't done the taping, and I never will now. Thanks again everyone Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 It's ok to be turned on by the idea of her masterbating, and to be curious. But there are better ways to go about it. I'm glad you're not going to do that (the taping). Try talking to her about what a turn-on you think it is, in a very non-threatening, gentle, non-invasive manner...she might surprise you and open up more. BellaDonna Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I agree that filming your wife is NOT A GOOD IDEA AND YOU SHOULD NOT DO IT! It's a complete invasion of her privacy if she is not comfortable with it. It's also violating the trust that she has with you. If you want to do it, just ask your wife if she's okay with it. Otherwise, just let it go. Link to comment
xprincessbugx Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Wife or not, that is not a good idea. She deserves to have some privacy and it's wrong for you to violate her privacy like that. Link to comment
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