heartfelt2005 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 So I dated this girl for 9 months, we broke up about 3 years ago, and I still have extremely deep feelings for this girl... I'd pretty much give up anything to be with her.... I've dated other girls, had our fun, whatever you want to call it... today I finally signed up for a myspace, and found her... and saw that she is now married with a kid... I'm heartbroken, I don't want to do.... I've tried nc... didnt' work... It hurts me that I still have extremely deep feelings for this girl... and that she could love and get married to someone other than me... What do I do? Link to comment
serenity25 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time with this. Unfortunately, if she is married with a kid, there really isn't anything you can do as far as a romantic relationship with her goes. I definitely wouldn't recommend trying for friendship at this point either since you still believe you are in love with her. Perhaps if it has been three years since you broke up, you are more attached to the memory of her because you just haven't found someone you feel as strongly for yet. It may not be that you are truly still in love with her although I know it feels that you are. When you find yourself thinking of the past or of her, switch your thinking to the future and the amazing person that you will meet one of these days to make you forget all about your ex. There are billions upon billions of people in this world... do you really think she's the only one that could capture your heart? As far as your pain over her loving and marrying someone else... it doesn't necessarily mean she is happy.. you never really know what another persons relationship is like. However if you really did love her, wish her the best. Whether she is or is not happy, this is not a situation you want to involve yourself in. It's time to let go so that you can see what wonderful things the future holds for you! Good luck... and don't look at her myspace.. trust me, it will only make things worse. Whenever you feel tempted to look, post here instead. Link to comment
notanymore Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 i totally agree with serenity Its time to move on and not look back at what has already happened. don't let her thoughts haunt you, wipe the slate clean and move ahead. come to ENA instead of goin to myspace, u ll find hope and comfort her.good luck mate. cheers Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 She is unlikely to be the same girl of 3 years ago. I suspect you hold onto here as some kind of ideal to prevent yourself getting attached (and attachment is a risky business) to anyone else. What do you think? And...she's an ex for a reason. If you two were "meant to be" you'd be married by now. Link to comment
Dubzuk Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 i really agree with the post before mine, u really need to move on, i know its hard to hear but its the best thing to do because otherwise ur not going to move on with ur life. Link to comment
blueberrypie Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I broke up with my 4 months of bf 8 yrs ago. Took me 7 yrs finding another guy who I can truly love.(I've dated many guys in the meantime, but couldn't feel 'love' toward them.) After 3 yrs, we tried again but after three days we both knew that it wouldn't work.(We were not the same people we had been while we originally had been dating.) Even if it takes long, it will eventually go away. I know, easier said than done. But I guess we just should keep our hope high. Time will heal. Link to comment
heartfelt2005 Posted June 24, 2006 Author Share Posted June 24, 2006 I've dated many other girls... and no matter the girl... I never feel like I can connect with them, and truly be myself around them, like I could with her... Which I know is one of my big problems... I need to quit making comparisons between her, and whoever I am dating Link to comment
Allie. Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Hmm. oh the silly myspace. I have one too. and I'm in a similar position. not completely the same. because i don't know if my ex has another girl in his life. and i choose not to. my advice to you is to keep away from myspace. even though its tempting to go and look. and look. and look. but still. just force yourself thru one day and the next day will be easier...etc. Let's look at the situation this way. You obviously have strong feelings for this girl. and she has broken up with you and apparently moved on. Now...if you go and try to talk to her about it...etc....you can a) talk to her and get really hurt because you realize that she still doesn't like you. b) talk to her and find out how much she's in love with this other guy and get really hurt. The two choices don't seem so good. if its someone she has potential to get married to, as you say, [though i may suggest] that some obsessive girls out there to declare "in a relationship" as "married"...either way, she has really strong feelings for this guy so you're prolly not gonna be able to get in the game. These silly things like the season or an internet site or a restricted phone call or seeing couples everywhere we go...remind us of our loss and that's normal. but its always important to disassociate ourselves with these loss symptoms and move on. Keep up the healing. Allie. Link to comment
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