jeffreyt Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I read alot on here about "no contact" I'm on my third day of this and it helping me alot don't get me wrong I still miss her but this really helps the healing process but my question is I believe my ex will email me soon at work(kinda sucks that she works right next to my business ughhh) since we would email each other like 20 to 30 times a day(i know how did I get any work done lol) my question is when she does email me I know I will wait at least a few hours before I respond but what is the best way to respond to her. should I be very vague on my response? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Jeff Link to comment
busterkeaton Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I think it would really depend on what she says in her email and how far you want to take NC. Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 My plan is to get back with her but only under the right situation or I don't think I would even respond back. I assuming she going to ask how I'm doing just basic things just to keep me around or do I tell her at this point that I don't think small talk is any good for me now. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 If she contacts you again, you restate your position. Tell her what you're looking for and you'll accept nothing less. Remind her as often as she needs to be reminded. In the meantime, start talking to some other girls. It'll help you along in the process. Link to comment
ranlian Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 you know, sometimes small talk is a doorway that leads to "the talk" you're waiting for. what i mean is don't be too stubborn. i know what you want to hear is the talk that leads back to reconciliation and your getting back together with her, but being too stubborn sometimes can put you at a higher level which feeds your ego. while your ego may be hurt, just remember it really doesn't come down to egos. Link to comment
JohnnyTable Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 It will be hard, but don't worry about this until/if it actually happens. Any plan you make now won't really matter a week or month from now. Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 Well day 4 of the NC starts today I feel much better everyday(I think I do lol) This is much better then LC I feel more in control and have started the healing process that being said of course I still miss her dearly and during this time it sucks that she works right next door to my business(I really want to walk over there and say why haven't you contacted me yet lol) but really I have the attitude now and keep telling myself this "I don't care how hard this is, I don't care how disappointed I am, I'm not going to let this get the best of me. I'm moving on with my life". Thanks for all the feedback it helps alot any more comments would be great appreciated. Thanks Jeff Link to comment
karchino Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I also am doing NC, I have been doing it a couple of times but then he would contact me or I would contact him.... We were in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years but the distance got too big. Anyway, last monday was it 4 weeks ago since I last spoke to him and you know what? It did not bother me at all. It did in the beginning, I kept checking my phone, my email... but I did not want to contact him either because, basically, I had nothing to say to him. And what really helped me a lot is that I did a lot of things with my friends. So I kept myself busy. I also know a guy here who is becoming a really good friend, we talk together a lot on the workchat, we go out, just to the pub for a drink (or two and he even stayed over last friday night, nothing happened, just kissing but it felt nice. I know and he knows too that I am not ready yet for any kind of "relationship" so we are just good friends, we get along well and that is it for now. So the best thing is to keep yourself busy. I contacted my "ex" last monday because he is also my landlord and I am going on holiday tomorrow and I also wanted to know how he was doing. And we talked shortly and it was light and friendly but nothing more. So trust me, it will get better! Maybe it does not feel like that now but once you are past a certain point... I even lost count of the days I had not spoken to him and when I counted that it was already 4 weeks last monday I did not talk to him, I felt really proud of myself. Hang in there and good luck Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 karchino, thanks for the post I appreciate it. Geez I used to love that she worked right next door to my business now I hate it lol I didn't need to see her pull in this morning when I was getting out of my car it was weird!!! Link to comment
karchino Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 That must be frustrating sometimes. But there is nothing you can do about that besides from taking another job.....I had a relationship once with a guy I worked with and we broke up badly so I left that job. Luckily I already wanted to leave so was easy for me to do.... I do not really have that problem now because my "ex" lives far far away so I rarely see/saw him anyway. We were not even in a real relationship (was not really possible because of the distance) but it felt like that. Anyway, like I said, keep yourself busy! Do things with friends, go out take a walk, watch a movie, read a book. In the beginning it feels like you will never get over it, like you never will meet someone else... But the guy I told about? He told me last week that he likes me and I did not even notice/realize that because my "ex" was still in my mind all the time! So basically, I was missing other "opportunities", you know what I mean? And my "ex" is still in my mind but not all the time anymore, I can put thoughts about him away much easier. Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 kachino, thanks for the response it helps but I really am doing much better this week since I started the NC. Well taking another job is not an option since this is my business lol, but she will be quiting her job at the end of August to go back to school, also I've stopped going to places I know she will be at for time being like we would work out together(spinning) 3 times a week now I just go a different time just not comfortable seeing her right now. I think you need to go out with that guy that said he likes you. Thanks again Link to comment
karchino Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 we do go out (sort of) but not an official date yet. We just go to a pub and have a drink, that's it. Usually we start with a group of people but somehow we always end up together in the end....He did keep on asking me yesterday if I wanted to come and watch football at his place... but I said no (weather is awful here and I didnot want to walk all the way home or stay over at his place) Anyway,he is on holiday now and I am going on holiday tomorrow for 2 and a half weeks so I will see him again on 9th July...But we have each other phone numbers so we'll see.... Yep, leaving your job is not really an option... But luckily she is leaving anyway so that problem is solved then..... Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 Day 5 today of NC still holding up well(I think lol) obviously it's still tough miss her alot it's actually amazing I have gone this long considering we used to email each other all day actually the record was 31 times in 8 hour day of work she kinda got in trouble from the company she works for haha, but I'm staying focused on alot of things myself & my daughter which helps me alot I think at this point we all wish we could read minds and see what they are thinking(or maybe I wouldn't want to know lol) Actually went out last night with a bunch of friends and actually talked to this one girl for awhile which was nice and even after some drinks last night didn't text her anything(I'm even impressed with that) This is NC is very tough writing in here has helped so much as well as reading alot of these post in here keep them coming they definitely help. I keep telling myself this evey morning "I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life". Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 I'm not sure why today my 5th day is so tough with the NC I wanted to actually email her this morning I'm happy I didn't wow is this normal to have these days I actually looked out my window this morning to see her drive by since she works right next door. Then I almost gave the mail man this lipstick she wanted that I got on ebay to give to her since he goes to her work after he leaves my office Am I being crazy. I would hope I'm not the only one who does things like this during this time. Any support would be greatly appreciated. Link to comment
karchino Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Hey Jeffreyt, How are things going? You are definitely NOT crazy for doing the things you do.... I always made up all kinds of excuses so I "had"to contact him...For me it always happened around day 10, 11, 12 of NC, that was always my breaking point (or his when he contacted me) It sounds cliche, but time does heal all wounds, it takes a while but you will get there Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted June 29, 2006 Author Share Posted June 29, 2006 karchino, Thanks for asking going well today I actually just sent you a private message hope you don't mind. Link to comment
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