I finally did it....but because I realized and found...

[icanttakeitanymore]

So I finally did it...I dont know if some of you saw my thread

 

Well I broke up with him, we tried, things didn't work. It actually just got worse and we've seen each other less. And to be honest I realized what else is out there! There is this kid at work, Attractive, sweet, funny, charming. We've always gotten along well, and recently we started to hang out. I guess I needed someone to show that not every guy is just a straight up JERK .

 

I've never been this happy in at least 2 years.

When me and this guy at work started to just hang out as friends the last few days, I was still debating on if it will ever work with my (now ex) boyfriend. But he put the icing on the cake when last saturday night we were going to do something, instead he had all his friends come over knowing we haven't seen each other in almost a week. HE was the one who said we need to see each other and set it all up. SO I call him after work and he's with his friends and says he's going to be with them the rest of the night. And it would be rude of him to send them home, especaily one who was only there 25min . im just like, AND IT"S NOT RUDE TO BREAK PLANS FOR THE 100th TIME WITH ME! And it doesn't hurt MY feelings? OH and to top it off he says "Well they came first and I can see them when ever I want!" THAT HAS NEVER BEEN THE ISSUE! I dont care if he saw his friend every day! Just dont tell me I'm going to see you and I will finally get to have time with the person I love. Then just blow me off! He's done it so much I felt like I died inside each time.

 

Anyway, I told him, I can't do it anymore, we need to split. I wasn't happy. And I could tell he wasn't as happy either. I coudln't stand crying over him anymore. But it's like it didn't go through he comes out saying "Ok hun, see you tomorrow!" And has the nerve to call me the next day like nothing was wrong and leave a messege on my phone asking when that day we were going to go to eat and see each other! ARE YOU SERIOUS! So all day I just kept busy relaxed saw a movie. Then as I was heading over to a friends house he calls and I pick it up cause I figure he just didn't get it. (and I was right he didn't) He gets all upset at me saying I ruin time when we can see each other. And Seeing me for an hour isn't import to him. And that Everyting is always me blowing it up! He never does anything wrong. So I just blew up on him! Yelled I cant take it, he doesnt listen it is always his way and I haven't had any say in our relationship in the last year! He never respected my feelings and it was done! I didnt want to see him! I told him I love him and care for him but I wont go through my life specially my younger years when I should be out having fun just sitting around and being unhappy and waiting for him to come around. He ALWAYS got upset when i went out with friends saying I should have been with him. I NEVER made plans with him and broke them. I was always on time and always did what I can to make sure to never show him I didn't love him.

 

K well he's called 3 times today. I just dont think he understands. Everyone is telling me to just never talk to him again. He needs to realize things.

 

What really got me to do it all was I was just looking at this guy i've met at work and then my ex. And it's just like in my head I weighd it out.

 

Do I want to grow up marry someone who doesn't want to ever work and just live off his parents. Who pops sedatives everytime he's with me or even just 3-4 times a day cause he doesn't want to deal with life as he says. And who drinks when life gets rough (and rough to him is an 9 hour day at work, now I work 2 jobs so.) and blames me for stuff I never even do. Who has lied to me so many time I can't trust 1 word he says to me anymore. Even when he says he loves me I know it can't be true....

 

OR

 

 

Do I want to marry someone like this guy at work. Who has his head on his shoulders, who treats me with respect. Actually listens to me and wants to know how I feel and isn't always talking about himself. Someone who looks out for me and everytime I'm around him he makes me so happy, which makes him happy. Who knows he's not perfect but tries his best to get through life and loves every minute of it.

 

Sorry this is long and rantful. I'm just mixed with anger and happiness. On one side I'm Upset cause I do love my ex and I will miss the good times we did have. But then i'm happy I wont need to deal with the day to day drama that we had. I haven't htought about myself in the longest time ive only thought about him and it just made me unhappy cause it never worked. And I'm happy that things with this guy at work are progressing slowing but so nicely! Of course we're just friends now, but I can tell there is something there and he says he wants there to be something someday but knows I'm getting out of something rough and he wants to help me through it. So call me bad/stupid/wrong to look towards someone new so quickly. If only ya'll could understand how happy I am around him. And he actually lets me see his friends! So now I have a group of people I just hang out with. My ex never would do those things.

[InHiding]

Good for you!

 

I think it's okay to look for others, he showed you what you want. He showed you that you deserve better. What's wrong with that?

 

Good luck!

[renaissancewoman101]

I am glad you decided to leave the guy who wasnt treating you well. But be careful about replacing him with this new guy. You might be rebounding with this new guy and that is not a good idea because you seem like the type that needs to have a guy in your life. Maybe it is a good idea to take some time away from dating and get to know yourself more and be comfortable with yourself and being alone. You also need to have adequate time to grieve the end of one relationship before embarking on another relationship.

[Momene]

I agree with the rebound thing, tread carefully. But well done for ditching your ex.

[icanttakeitanymore]

Yeah, well we aren't really ganna date or nothing. Cause of that exact reason. He knows and I know that I'm just not ready for something. I don't want him to be a rebound. We talked about this stuff and we just want to hang out as friends a bunch.

 

It's like I'm upset about it all, but I can't help but think that it would have just stayed horrible and I would have been unhappy and so it's for the best. So I don't get too upset.

 

I was talking to a friend last night, tellin him that I am just waiting for one of these nights to just ball! He let me know that it's going to be like that for a while probably and it's normal. But he let me know he'll be there for me. He actually recently broke up with his GF cause she cheated on him. So we've been there for one another.

 

Anyway, all in all I don't want to date. I just want to hang out with people. It's actually real hard for me to even look at myself being with someone else. I just want to be the 19 yr old that I am ya know. Go out, have fun, and not worry about coming home to someone who will yell at me for being happy.