WhiteWolf7 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 First off before i say anything the mother i am going to describe. nobody. parents and teens alike agree with her they think she is insane! I am 17 girlfriend is also 17 been dating a year we want to get married after she turns 18 (you may disagree with this. thats okay but do not discuss it here) we are both very responsible, very mature ,very intelligent people, her mother is psycho religious(i am christian too but the womans a whacko) my girlfriend has a 12 year old brother and a 15 year old sister first off none are allowed to date until 16 (this common for girls but not guys!) secondly they can not go anywhere alone and the girls cannot hang out with a guy without others around no R Rated movies. or any movies with too much killing or any withcraft magic etc only christian music completely shelter from life cameras in the house. bedchecks. constant invasion of privacy includeing room checks, myspace messages, everything no halloween, forced to go to curch every wensday and sunday and forced to go to many church events mom makes up lame excuses like you need rest so she cant do something. but makes her work the same day thats just home life now our relationship! not allowed alone anytime, can not go to her house,my house, or a friends house unless parents are there no single dates only 45 min phone times disaproves of us careing too much for eachother says things like we are too young, etc (my parents got married at 16 and 17 for no other reason then love) extreme limit on activeitys like i can go over everyday if her moms there but shes only allowed over once a week she trys to control them trying to force church college and everything else on them instead of letting them choose thier future she decides i was hopeing for advice maybe a site showing her how wrong she is..the kids are unhappy..and no matter what. her mom thinks she is right and we know nothing Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 You, 17... versus a religious extremist with much more life experience, authority, etc. You will not "win" without some very ugly scenes indeed. It is very tough to watch someone seemingly live a way that is both very different and damaging in comparison to your lifestyle. However, as long as she is not breaking the law, there is nothing you can do to change her parenting style. I do not honestly think she'd listen to any attempts at serious conversation either. Can your girlfriend move out of the home any time soon? If she can't, can you honestly bear to go through all this for the duration of a relationship until you two get married? And as for the marriage itself..I'm assuming her mother wouldn't support or fund that? Tough one. I'd say wait until you are both adults and then your girlfriend can get away. Link to comment
WhiteWolf7 Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 yeah no chance my girlfriend can get out for another year i have debated with her mom a few times..but decided not to push it as her mom would keep her from me until she turns 18 as for marriage..her mom has accepted we want to get married..but she says it likely wont happen and if it does it wont be until our mid 20s..her mom still says we are to attached etc her mom is convinced she is not overprotective at all too..sigh..i am in for a rough year. i turn 18 in augest.. Link to comment
Meow18 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Well, unfortunately AntiLove is right. You aren't going to win against her mom. It's sad and hardly fair. But if you love each other, you and your girlfriend can make it through this. Obviously things change over time and you and your girlfriend might end up growing apart, but if you are meant to be with her you will be. A year really isn't that long. It might seem like it, but her chance to move out and be her own person will come soon enough. Link to comment
WhiteWolf7 Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 oh its not that i am scared it will drive us apart not at all its just horrible to put up with all the time but yes i can suck it up for any amount of years if i had to..but it does not mean i have to like it it just bothers me that a person could be so blind and ignorant Link to comment
paitball30 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 persusion is a way say ill go to collega or its a year man Link to comment
WhiteWolf7 Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 its still 11months if she go's to college Link to comment
Meow18 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 You don't have to like her mom. But you need to respect her. She might be crazy and be overprotective. But there's always a reason when parents are like that. That doesn't mean they have a good reason to be that way, but parents are never usually like that just to make their children miserable. She loves her daughter, just like you, if not more. She just doesn't show it the right way. You need to respect her choices.. Link to comment
ToxiC SweateR Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I say just try and get along with her. She might just be sheltering her from you to just piss you off...and you letting her know that it pisses you off makes her job worth it. Give it a try, it could work. Link to comment
patch2006uk Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 it really sounds as if your girlfriend's mom is raising her daughter in a way that she sees as right. the fact that some people would disagree with her methods is, i think, irrelevant. while your girlfriend lives under her mother's roof, she really is obliged to follow her rules. however unfair, and seemingly illogical, they are. my parents are quite religious, but ive managed to stretch my boundaries over the last few years, but it takes a lot of trust and time to do. there's little to no chance of you, as an 'outsider' will be able to change things drastically, but you could just support your girlfriend, especially as she probably feels trapped and suffocated by her mother. finally, good luck in your relationship, and in the marriage! Link to comment
fishrrshortae Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Has it occurred to you that your gf might be considering marriage simply to get away from parents she sees as controlling? Link to comment
Hyperia81 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Try to get " In " with the mom. It may be a longshot but maybe by becoming her pet you could gain more trust and be allowed more time with your gf, ect ect. You would be surpised how alittle interest in a person can change perspectives and tilt favor. Link to comment
WhiteWolf7 Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 i am her moms pet...her mom adores me...sadly to no affect as for marriage nope..she was going to move in with me her 18th birthday regardless of marriage we are not getting married for about 2 years after she turns 18 Link to comment
WhiteWolf7 Posted July 1, 2006 Author Share Posted July 1, 2006 alright heres a quiestion..we got enegaged at one year..now i know we cant get married without her parents consent but can they legally make us break off the engagement or even break up im pretty sure they need a valid reasons such as im a drug dealer or something Link to comment
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