How do you get to know them better?

[YankeeGirl02]

Let's say you're in a long distance relationship/friendship, and the way you talk is basically through letters & e-mail. You already know their favorite color and the movies they hate. But if you want to get to know someone on a deeper level, what kinds of things would you ask them?

[Rubiez]

I met one of my closest friends in the entire world via email. I asked all sorts of questions and for his advice on just about everything. One question I like to ask people is I ask them to tell me a secret. Something no one else knows about them. It usually opens up the door to all kinds of conversations. I also ask about their family, like the worst thing they ever did to a sibling, who they felt closest to growing up, what their favorite toys were as a child etc..Hope some of these ideas help!

[chai714]

I would build relations over a period of time. I would do this by asking them about their interests, their dreams, their goals, etc. (This is what I refer to as Macro style questions). After I had an idea of what interested them, their passions, etc, I would then narrow the scope of my questions (This is what I refer to as Micro style questions). For example, "what did you do this weekend, how was your day, what did you have for dinner, etc." Of course, logic tells me that you need to go Macro and then Micro. Doing so in this order builds trust and in order for someone to trust you, they need to feel good about you. In order to feel good about you, they need to open up to you and you need to listen and repeat what was said but in a paraphrased manner. I could go on but you get the idea. Start out Macro then go Micro. Good luck.

[anonymous_presence]

Have you tried other mediums of communication? It's kind of difficult to get to really know someone via email, but it's still perfectly feasible. It's just more intimate and personal to talk on the phone, though understandably that's not always an option.

 

Depth comes with time. Every letter and email is revealing, and if you let them accumulate, you'll find yourself deeply bonded to that person no matter what you talk about. Of course, bringing up personal issues will speed up the process, but only if done in a light and welcoming way.

[Tigris]

I met my Fiancee online. We talked about all kinds of things including our childhoods and funny stories that happened to us. Accidents and operations where we ended up in hospital, etc. What our hobbies were when we were growing up. About our ex husbands and the way they treated us. She told me about her 5 children and 2 grandchildren. We talked about our pets, families, who we were close to when we were growing up. Which musical instruments we played. There's alsorts of things that you can ask.

 

We did that for a couple of months until I phoned her and gave her a surprise. I had her daughter's mobile #. She was shocked and surprised when she heard my voice. I talked to her for a couple of weeks then I asked her to marry me. She didn't get the engagement ring until I travelled to Australia to stay with her for 2 weeks.

 

We communicate by text, email, MSN, Yahoo, Skype, and phone. I send her parcels on a regular basis with gifts inside. Sometimes it's clothes and other times it's just sweets. Sometimes I just send her cards with a romantic message inside.

 

It's the thought that counts.

[JJRadical]

Ask if they've ever ever been arrested for a felony or misdemeanor.