How can I communicate this to him....advice please

[LovinIt]

I'm sure you all are getting tired of my posts....they are always so scattered, as my brain is so filled with things to say, it's hard to put it into words.

 

My man is still out of town.....we have been talking about once a day, sometimes not at all. That is fine with me, although I am missing him like crazy after we get off the phone. I'm afraid for him to come back...it seems like our relationship has gotten better since we have been spending less time together being as though he is thousands of miles away. When our conversations are brief, we seem to have so much love for each other...and the longer the conversations are...the more i sense the sarcastic side of him coming back.

 

I don't want to be in a rollercoaster relationship with him anymore. He jokes with me a lot, saying I need a lot from him, etc....I have begun to take it seriously, since we all know that jokes have some sort of truth to them. I end up getting upset, he gets annoyed, and we are back to that spot I hate. How the hell do I communicate to this guy....he feels like I bring stuff up alot, but when are we ever going to fix the problem.

 

Besides sitting down and having a heart to heart with him....is it reasonable to compromise with him, by giving him more space to do whatever he wants whenever he wants...if he can promise a night a week, or a day to just do whatever, get coffee, talk, touch base? I would like to open the lines of communication more. It feels like so much stuff has built up in my heart and head that every time we get into one of those little arguments, or he jokes about something that hurts me in a way, I get very teary eyed. I don't want to cry, or be emotional so much....it just seems the tears start when I think about how often or much I have been hurting.

 

AS i was talking to my mom on the phone the other day...she said, "You've been run over a lot....and I am so sorry for that. I wish he could understand." The more I think about how disappointed I have been in the past, the more upset I get with my present situation. I feel like I walk around on eggshells in order to not upset him. I cant talk about our relationship without him turning away, and giving me the "Oh jeez". How can I get this guy to understand that he is hurting me??? What will open his eyes? I dont want to be the crying girlfriend...I want to approach all of this in a calm manner. Please...some advice....How can i get what i need out of this????

[darklich14]

Seems like if you have to compromise like that -- so that he gets all the freedom he wants just so you can remain his girlfriend -- you're in a pretty unbalanced relationship. I've been in one relationship before, and that's exactly how I felt. Like I had to just give it all up just to make it work... And that wasn't even enough for her. Maybe leaving him will make him realize he's hurting you. It's not a good idea to stick with someone who's going to just "Oh jeez" you when you tell him that you need to talk to him about something.