What to say to girls

[tsct1990]

i personally have a lot of trouble talking to girls, i can't just walk up to a girl (or anyone else) and just start talking.

But i've noticed a lot of the outgoing guys can, and they have lots of girls that like them and friends. How do they do it, what are they doing or saying that allows them to do this, it seems like they always have something to say, even if they don't know the person too well

How can i be like them?

[easyguy]

Is it that you always never have anything to talk about, or is it only when it comes to girls when you blank out?

 

This may sound blunt, but they not only have a ton of confidence and high self esteem, they just don't care what the girl thinks of him. He's just is himself, and if she doesn't like him, oh well.

 

As for talking, just a simple warm "Hi" can get things going. It's all about listening to what she has to say, too. I used to be incredibly shy and anti-social, but I've sort of gotten past that. I went on my first date with a girl last night, and we chatted non-stop for about an hour over dinner. I didn't think about what I was going to talk about, I just went with the flow. The same applies to just talking to girls in general.

 

Are you in school? Because you might benefit from join a club or group with people who share your interests. That way you can build up the confidence of talking to other people.

[bebecole]

you need to have confindence in yourself, is the key.

i use to have the same problem talkin to guys..

just talk about anything, seriously!!

i guess it all depends on the female too find out what there into like music, movies, or even ask about their job!

or tell them about your day if sumthing funny happened to you..

ehh thats all i can think of now.. if i come up with anything else ill let you know.

but all you have to do is be yourself and have confindence and the girls will start coming to you!

[tsct1990]

it's kinda both, i blank out, but i also don't have anything to talk about. i always end up talking about meaningless things (like the weather or music) that bore the girl i'm talking to.

i want to be funny (is it possible to help my sense of humor?) and talkative like those other guys

what kinda things do most guys talk about to girls? (mutual interests, jokes,etc?)

 

i tried talking to new ppl online but i tend to bore them out too by talking about things like the weather, i find it difficult to talk to ppl i just met and know nothing about, but ppl i already know i have difficulty talking to, too

[GottaLetItBurn]

It's about charm and confidence.

 

Let her talk, girls are better at talking and usually break the silence if you wait that extra second on an akward pause. Trust me.

 

Then just respond to what they say, don't think there is pressure on you. You have to not care, like if you were hanging out with your bestfriend. Seriously you have to get into the state of mind that they are hanging out with you and you could be doing better things.

 

Also work on conversation skills, and asking interesting questions. Picture how someone you look up to would say something. Then just say it like them, practice practice.

[DropToZero]

The best way is just practice...or not so much that, that makes it sound like a game, how about ...repetition is a better word. The more you work on something, like approaching girls at parties, in lines, etc...the easier it will become, and the better you will become at it. It's confidence, you have to have that in yourself first man, then everything else will just sort-of follow. I got a job where I kind of have to work with different and new people every day, so I don't really have a problem approaching anyone now.

 

And you say you want a sense of humor, and you're not thinking of things to talk about, you've got to really open up, because you're thinking TOO much about the whole situation. That's why you get stuck on boring topics that no one is really interested in, you need to stop caring what others think, and define yourself, talk about yourself, and listen for keywords in someone else's speech to ask them about(like nouns, or things they do). It will help create conversation to listen for words like that and build off of them. "Yes" and "No" answer questions are bad...they leave gaps, go more for 'who, what, where, when, and why.' And all-in-all, when you stop caring, you'll learn to have more fun and be playful, a lot of girls, the best way I get in when flirting with them, is to roleplay. Make up something, and if she's into you, she'll go along with it and flirt back. When I say that, I mean like...as example, ask her if she has a job, and if she says "yes" or "no"(yea I know), ask what it is and play it off like she's going to support you in the future and pay for the times you hang out. If she says no, tell her she'd better get one hehe...the idea is just to make it all come out as a joke...she'll catch on. Have fun and good luck!

[tsct1990]

it's kinda both, i blank out, and there's nothing to talk about (or i can't think of anything)

i want to be like those guys who are talkive and funny (is it possible to increase ur sense of humor?) and can say something to anyone, whether they know them well or not

i tried talking to new ppl online, but i can never think of anything to say to them either

[tsct1990]

sry for posting something twice, it didn't show up the first time i did it

[tsct1990]

when i ask girls questions about things they do or like, it seems to bore them cuz they think i'm interviewing them or something

[Markers]

you have to ask questions in a way that you don't feel like an interviewer and she doesn't feel like she's interviewed. When you ask something, be prepared to speak about yourself a bit too. She should talk 60-70% of the time, you should 40-30% of the time. Ask open ended questions, the ones she can't answer to with yes or no. But you have to talk too, like if you ask "so you play in that band right? How's it like?", and she answers "oh yeah I sing, it's kinda bla bla bla you know, the best thing is to mess around in a studio making new stuff". You can't at this point ask just another question, you should go like " oh I went once to see my friends band at studio, seemed like more of a drinking and video gaming contest than music recording to me... but of course you don't drink - you don't have enough age right?" etc.

 

Make jokes too, have fun with her.. don't just go like "where do you study do you like music do you like sports do you have pets do you have.."

[Xylus]

Ill post here instead of making a new topic because I can relate to this...I too have a problem like this. I start the convo off good but then I just run out of subject matter. I'm pretty kool I don't have a huge problem talking to girls except for the really hot ones that I like. If it is a girl I don't have feelings for I have no problem striking up a convo, but if it is a girl I wanna start something with then, forget it I won't get past "Hey...whats up?" I don't kno what to do. It's freakin annoying.

[shadowcat]

i get the exact same problem, only i dont usually go up to girls, my self confidence is pretty low i think..although people say i look good, sometimes i think there bull * * * *ting jus to make me feel good...and when ur feeling like that it makes it alot harder to approach a girl

[Xylus]

same here bro i feel the same way

[The_Loner_Warrior]

Ask them questions about them selves or the weather or the new stuff like that. Or if you see at that common places friends house etc, eventually try not think about it eventually it will just come to you naturally.

[Budman]

First off, How about you guys message each other. And learn talking to new people.

 

 

Also, feel free to message me. I'll talk to anyone (if I have time)

 

Lately, my time is limited but, I'll certainly try. If I don't respond I'm away and forgot to change it, or if I say I'm busy don't feel bad cause I probably am.

 

Anyway, my contact info is in my profile.

 

Message away just gotta talk to new people.

 

I love meeting new people.

I'll talk about anything dammit, Ask miss M (once again I bring her up lol), I never shut up, if they aren't talking I will find a convo.

 

Anyway,

 

before I got better at conversations, I used to do this in IM's...

 

Budman: Hey wanna play a game?

 

Girl: What kinda Game?

 

Me: It's the question Game. Basically, what you do is ask 1 question at a time, either people can't repeat the question.

 

Girl: Ok, sounds interesting.

 

Me: Ok I'm a gentleman so ladies first.

 

Girl: What do you do for fun?

 

Me: I like to do a lot of things, Hardcore drugs, and fishing are my dislikes though. I like to read, etc etc etc etc, (listing off my likes)

 

Girl: Awesome, I like to do that too. How long have you done (yatta yatta)

 

Me: Nu uh, gotta wait, its my turn

 

Girl: Oh yea. (something depends on the personality... usually quirky, or an lol)

 

Me: So what's your shoe size? (This question is to DISARM (if you ask this question, or follow this I shall smack thee hehe)

 

Girl: What, lol, what are you talking about?

 

Me: I wanted to know you're shoe size cause you don't really find these things out, I mean * * * * most guys ask for your bra size, I wanna know your shoe size, you gonna complain about that?

 

Girl: Lol Point taken, 8 (Ok well she would say something else)

 

After awhile She'll be so wrapped up in questions, and wanting to ask you things, she'll type out questions almost immediately.

 

You can always blame the "game" for making her have to ask questions.

 

I've had 6 hour convo's Usually I relax the rules later on. when a real convo starts. It's basically a force of a conversation helps you find stuff in common that you both like. It's something I used for a long time, I always had some questions that I always asked.

 

Such as:

 

What are your heroes?

 

What's your favorite book?

 

Yatta yatta, you'll get many many more.

 

Let me tell ya, that will help. It gives some structure to a conversation that you can put in "play" whenever you want to.

 

And, its a tease, cause there will be a question she wants to reverse on you, and same for her.

 

 

One of the greatest quotes I've heard, "The answers always lie in the questions." Paying more attention to the questions that are asked, really tells you about a person.

 

Most people don't pay attention to it.

 

If a girl asks you, Are you circumcized or not, she's thinking about sex with you. Ya I never caught that before now I do.

 

Every questions she asks you, shows an interest in that subject.

 

I'll have to think about this some more.

 

PS. the dialogue is a dramatization lol.