it's a bird, it's a plane.....no it's really just air.

[teacup]

seriously. i have a problem. i think i am superwoman so i try to take on all these tasks. i work like crazy. i study like crazy. i go to school like crazy. i make a million lists. i buy a million books to read. but i dont have time to do even half the things i want to do. i feel like im going crazy.

 

i talked about this to the therapist, and she says i'm not superwoman. but i expect to be. i expect to be the person that can take on everything and still have free time to paint her toe nails and curl her hair. that is how i am. it ends up getting me stressed out, tired, no time, and no time for socializing, hanging out.

 

i would rather work and cut down on a social life. isn't that weird? but not even that. one day i will expect to be that perfect wife with all the homecooked dishes/baked goodies, the perfect mother - juggle kids and drive them wherever, as well as the perfect career woman - corporate ladder baby!, and all around perfect lover, daughter, sister, watever. im told this is unrealistic, but it's what i expect..and i don't want to change.

 

i think im superwoman. but i can't fly.

 

can i please borrow some magic powers?

 

 

(p.s. taking applications from fellow supernuts)

[Beyondthesea]

I'm right there with you. Right now I take music history lessons (tons of reading), work full time and part time, then in the fall I'll be taking two classes.

 

GOOOOO CRAZIES!

[teacup]

oh! i love music history, it is so fascinating. i watched amadeus and i love that movie! who knew mozart is like....200+ years old?

[AwdreeHpburn]

well, I hear ya, I think we all WANT to be those things.

 

I think it's dangerous however to say that you don't want to change. Like saying, if this is wrong I don't wanna be right. Heading for trouble with that one I say...and you're getting a sneak peek of the trouble already with the stress you're feeling from trying.

 

I say be more realistic with your goal list and then you'll have a true sense of accomplishment.

 

PLUS, if you can master 2 or 3 things at a time, adding another could be easier than you think but be aware of your limits.

[Ash]

Heavens, and you don't even have kids yet!

 

One famous saying is "Nobody ever lies on their deathbed wishing they'd spent more time at work."

 

It may seem like work and a career is the be all and end all of existence, but the reality of it is, it isn't. Perhaps if you are building your own company more effort is justified. But if you're working for anybody else, and you slow your pace down even for a couple of days, they'll crucify you most unfairly unless you have a very, very unusual employer.

 

If you're going to take a step back, or work less on something, then don't let your social life go, but work a bit less if that's possible. You friends will see you through tough times emotionally, your job won't.

[teacup]

i'm a bit of a workaholic. i think im kind of addicted. im at work right now.

[Batya33]

You are like most of the people I know and when I was your age I was just starting law school and I was very driven. As far as expecting yourself to be the perfect mother with perfect kids that's a bit presumptuous, don't you think? Expecting of yourself is one thing - expecting that you are definitely going to get married and have more than one healthy child is presuming that you can control those aspects of your life the way you have control over your career and education. If you are lucky enough to meet someone with whom you're compatible and who feels the same way about you, and you are able to have children and those children are healthy - then you will be truly blessed - but those things are not entirely up to you or within your control.

 

I think it's great that you have such high expectations for yourself - I just hope that you don't subject other people - including your children if you are blessed with them - to the same standards.

[whatsagirltodo]

You remind me a lot of my boyfriend. He always plans 10,000 things and then doesn't do half of them. My question is, are you happy with the way you're doing things? I see my boyfriend very depressed and upset when he can't finish everything, when realistically, NO ONE could EVER do half the stuff he tries to. If you're happy doing things the way you are, then I really don't see a problem, as long as you can prioritize and you're not deeply affected by the things you didn't finish. Getting stressed is one thing, but as long as you can remind yourself that there are some things that don't NEED to ever get done, then you should be okay.

 

...sorry if I'm not much help, but the only obvious advice would be to not fret so much over the un-done stuff that really must not be too important if you didn't get it done. ...if it IS important stuff, then you should probably look at how you manage your time and prioritze.

[Lady Bugg]

TeaCup? What do you do for work?

 

I am a business woman..with NO children and let me tell you..you are in for a shock if you think life is that cut and dry. I own a hair salon, and although I DO have a great staff, there is a ALOT that goes into being successsful. Having pretty toenails and curled hair is wonderful...but you have to have the DRIVE AND focus to get where you want to go. You are 24 years old...so the sky is the limit....just know that YOUR reality and actual reality may very well NOT be what you expect it to be. Being successful sometimes means putting in 60 hour workweeks...who is going to take care of those beautiful kids if you're working all the time..or better yet..how will you make time to HAVE kids?

 

What I am saying is...you need to be realistic about your goals. I think it's ok AND possible to have all those things... but I don't think it's possible to have all those things at the same time. Something in the end is going to suffer. This is why having a long term plan is important. So you want to be SuperWoman? We ALL do...but SuperWoman gets tired too....

 

Set goals for yourself, and accomplish them one at a time rather than trying to do everything at once. You are MUCH more likely to succeed if you do...trust me.

[teacup]

im thinking of picking 3 goals a week. one personal, one work and one school goal. does that sound plausible?

[vesper]

hi teacup. I work with a woman who just had a baby and returned to work. She is a very talented professional too. She also is a great friend to go have lunch with sometimes. I think the thing that drives her is a super positive attitude, lots of energy, and knowing her limits and being able to say no when she is asked to finish a project under unreasonable circumstances. You really have to have the confidence and skill to know your own talents and capibilities and let yourself take a break when needed.

 

The best thing to do is right out a list and cross them off as you accomplish 'tasks'.

[AwdreeHpburn]

im thinking of picking 3 goals a week. one personal, one work and one school goal. does that sound plausible?

 

 

Plausible, possible and sensible.

[Ash]

The idea of setting goals sounds good teacup. Make sure the goals are attainable otherwise you'll feel even worse about missing them. When you set your goals, think of something more long term as well, and make sure you pick things (again) that it is very possible to do.