Lansing Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 I met this girl recently and I found out shortly after that she is only 21.... We aren't really even "dating" but we did hang out over the weekend. I am interested in her in one way (I am attracted to her physically and she is definitely mature for her age)... but, at the same time, I always go into a relationship thinking "could she be the one that I marry" and I don't know if I could see myself long term with this girl. I guess I would like to get to know her more, but, if she was more my age, I would consider her as a "romantic" interest. I am debating whether I should escalate things to a romantic level... I think she digs me, but, she is too young to know how to give us the "flirt" vibes... There are a couple of other girls that I have been talking to and am interested in also.. so, it is kind of confusing.... haha... I guess that I am worried of is that I will escalate to "romantic" and then find out that I really don't want to "date" her and ruin a chance of a good friendship. On the other hand, I don't want to focus just on a friendship and then find out I really like her and be in her "friendzone".... I also have a bit of a "moral" quandry... because... , not to sound cocky, but, I guess I have accomplished a lot of things in life so, it is hard for her not to look up to me and be all amazed by me...like... Link to comment
dopexile Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Ya that's a tough cookie to be in... but if act like a man about everything and seek out other women then I doubt you will be in the friendzone. She may even get jealous... the friendzone is usually a place for people too wussy to show interest. And stick to your standards buddy.. if you didn't like to date people 8 years younger than you before you met this girl then hold yourself to that. Link to comment
Tigris Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Just ask her out and see what happens. Nobody has a crystal ball to see into the future. Good luck Link to comment
ocrob Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 I totally see your point, but also have another perception. To me, you are very young. I am 37 and have only been with one woman younger than me. My ex wife was 5 years younger and age was never an issue. I have never been attracted to younger women and have never pursued them, but now I am totally open. If the maturaity level does not fit, then I understand. But, if she is intelligent and articulate and can hang, then age should not matter. Trust me. It sucks getting old. There are many women my age that just seem too old. I am guessing I am just too immature or just like younger looking women. If this woman is a quality person and has good aspirations and goals, then I say you pursue. I don't communicate with many younger women so I don't know how they speak or act. I must say that I appreciate their pictures though. lol I say give her a chance and see what happens. If she is too immature, then you have to make that decision. If she is sweet and caring and fullfills your life, then move forward. I don't judge things like age anymore. It is just too hard to find someone to love. Link to comment
Lansing Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 Yeah, I realize it probably isn't the age thing holding me back...... I have been thinking for a while now that I want to meet a girl that shares my religion/views... Well, I don't think she is religious at all (i.e. she doesn't believe in god at all)...sooo....... I think that is what is holding me back... Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Yeah, I realize it probably isn't the age thing holding me back...... I have been thinking for a while now that I want to meet a girl that shares my religion/views... Well, I don't think she is religious at all (i.e. she doesn't believe in god at all)...sooo....... I think that is what is holding me back... So it isn't age after all, she is not religious enough. OK, I would have concerns staying with some one religious because of lack of openess and tolerance. Ever been to Jerusalem? Link to comment
Lansing Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 ummm.. I am not sure where you views on people who are religious came from, but, I am personally pretty open and tolerant... I would still keep this girl as a friend regardless if I didn't want to date her... And no, I have never been to Jerusalem but I would like to go! Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 ummm.. I am not sure where you views on people who are religious came from, but, I am personally pretty open and tolerant... I would still keep this girl as a friend regardless if I didn't want to date her... And no, I have never been to Jerusalem but I would like to go! No offense, if you really open up now and read your posts again you see... Link to comment
Lansing Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 Please explain?? The only posts I can think of that you are referring to are ones where I have said it is better for people to wait until they are in a commited relationship to have sex. I think a lot of people on here are posting about having "one night stands" and then assuming that things will turn into a relationship without talking about their requirements. I don't really blame the guys in those situations as there was often nothing discussed before hand, just assumptions.... But, I would like to hear about your views on me based on my postings.. it is interesting to hear how I come accross.. Link to comment
Tracy21 Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 SO, just because of her age (21) which is not that young you wouldn't consider dating her romantically???!!that's very peculiar and also..you ASSUME that she is not religious did you ask her?? I think most of the questions that you have in your mind, you have already "assumed" the answers which is dangerous. I'ts better to find out the right answers by asking the source don't you think? ****NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!!!*** Link to comment
Siriana Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 I think she's too young for something serious with a potential of beeing together for a very long time. When I remember myself when I was 21 and now when I'm almost 26 - there is a huge difference. I became completely different person. And I wasn't one of those immature girls. But the experiences I've had for the past 5 years made me learn a lot and made me a better person. So, I think she's in that point of her life where she's still becoming a complete person. Link to comment
Lansing Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 I saw on her online profile that she is atheist.. I am not assuming, I am passing it on fact of what she wrote (unless she lied)... anyway, that girl is pretty much out of the picture.....It has been a while now since we last chatted and she isn't making much effort to keep in touch and I am not "into" her enough to care to pursue her... Link to comment
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