How do I really allow myself to love him?

[Aschleigh]

I have met an amazing man. I fell in love almost immediately.

But it's hard too. I have been very hurt in the past from people who said they loved me and then betrayed me. I want to Love this man with my full heart, my mind, my body and my soul. I feel like as of today, I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I don't know how to get over my fear of being abondoned and betrayed. I want to get through this so badly. I need help. How do I really surrender to this love? Give my full self , no matter what the outcome?

aschleigh

[melrich]

Usually it's a matter of trust. I don't know how long you guys have been seeing each other but letting yourself surrender to love completely really will only come when you trust him completely. That usually takes time with anyone.

 

There are the old "stages" everyone talks about. First 6 months is all honeymoon and infatuation. If the relationship goes longer you get into the "love" stage and that is where you are at a point you know him well enough, you have enough experience with him to know you can trust him.

 

Of course it can happen quicker but given you have some bad experiences in the past you amy want to hold back a bit for a while longer.

[Lacrosse Girl]

Follow your heart. It will lead you the right way. If you have been hurt it is hard to trust. But start by trusting him a little don't through yourself into it. HE has to show you, you can trust him. But trusting someone is always a chance. There is always a chance it may not work out. But that is the chance everyone has to take, cause nothing is ever for sure. He is taking a chance on you just like you are on him, remember that. And also remember being hurt really sucks but people who have never honestly been hurt are either very lucky or very loanly. Good luck!

[romancedeyes]

I have been in your shoes but unfortunately, I have a tendacy to fall in love quickly. My best advice is to take it slow. Until he shows and proves that he will not hurt you, then trust him with your heart. Meet his friends first, gather yourself around his families and stuff. See how he is around you with them, how they are around you, and so on.

 

Best of luck to you. I sure hope he is the ONE.

[jabele]

I feel like as of today, I want to be with him for the rest of my life.

I think its important to recognize that you are very infatuated with this guy and that you may develop unrealistic expections.

 

Often times, people become so quickly infatuated with someone, that they fill in all the missing gaps with postive qualities when, in fact, its not the person at all!

 

Its those cases where people get married after 6 months and are convinced they really know the person and that they are exactly what they're looking for...then, in time, grow to find that they weren't who they thought and, as they say in "When Harry Met Sally," argue in divorce mediation who will get to keep the ugly wheel coffee table!!! ;-)

 

If you recognize that you may do this now you can slow yourself down and give yourself the opportunity to really grow something w/ him and get to know him.

 

Consider it a good thing you feel this way, but also a reason to be a bit cautious.

 

Good luck!

[Skippy]

well you are going into a situation that will test both of you when it comes to trust. Hold back, watch and see. dont totally give total trust, but watch and learn and slowly trust. Running away from 'tests' doesnt build trust, u have to go throught it.