hubbys got a job interview in another state

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

He currently works for a private college where hes way underpaid for what he does. He was asked by another college to come to a job interview in Kentucky.

 

I do not want to move there, I just don't know how to tell him. I mean yes I have already decided to leave him saving up money to do so. But He keeps acting so excited about possibly going there.

 

Arghh why does life have to be so complicated.

 

I want so bad to tell him I am not going anywhere with you, I am leaving you etc.. But I am afraid to because he is violent when things don't go his way.

 

He didn't get me anything for mothers day. Our anniversary is coming up next month and he hasn't even mentioned doing anything then either. He sure isn't making it harder for me to stay.

 

I just don't know what to do anymore. If life could get any more complicated I think i would pretend like I was a ostrich and put my head in a hole.

 

Wanda

[mmmending]

Hey Wanda,

 

I remembered your story from a month or so ago, and went back to look at your early posts. What stood out for me was what you were saying about your husband's violent tendency.

 

In your earlier posts where you talked about "Bob", you had mentioned that you had grown up in an abusive and violent home, and that with your mum, there was a lot of instability.

 

I'm wondering, have you ever received counselling for the abuse both at the hands of your mum, and your husband? Concerning your husband's abusiveness, have you gone on the record with anybody such as a doctor, a therapist, the police?

 

It was nice to see you sign by name. I don't think any of us is "dazed and confused by destiny". I think we get dazed and confused by circumstances which lead us to make choices that add to our suffering.

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

I'm wondering, have you ever received counselling for the abuse both at the hands of your mum, and your husband? Concerning your husband's abusiveness, have you gone on the record with anybody such as a doctor, a therapist, the police?

 

It was nice to see you sign by name. I don't think any of us is "dazed and confused by destiny". I think we get dazed and confused by circumstances which lead us to make choices that add to our suffering.

 

 

Hi yes I received counceling for my moms abuse, at the time I was described as angry at the world. Hubby and I have tried counceling and it hasn't worked. Yes his abusive tendencies have been reported to the police he was even in jail a whole day the time he hit me in the abdomen when I was pregnant.

 

A few friends who know, ask if hubby may be cheating. My answer is what

made me realize that my marriage is over. I use to say if i caught hubby cheating I would make Bobbit look bad. Now I say good for him, I hope she can make him happy since our marriage has been anything but happy for a long time.

 

I am just tired of living with the choices I made in my life.

1 was marrying hubby when I didn't really love him. Word of advice don't marry on rebound.

 

I finally talked with my mother about everything yesterday. She was really suprising. She said if I feel like im in danger staying here then I need to get out.

 

I just wish it wasn't easier said then done.

 

I am still dazed and confused but i think its by destiny I believe things only happen for a reason, it's up to make the choice to go in the path that is prewritten or if we choose to wander.

 

Wanda

[mmmending]

Hi Wanda,

Yes his abusive tendencies have been reported to the police he was even in jail a whole day the time he hit me in the abdomen when I was pregnant.

How difficult, W. I'm so sorry to hear this.. hmmm.. may you be safe and protected, may you live with ease.

 

I finally talked with my mother about everything yesterday. She was really suprising. She said if I feel like im in danger staying here then I need to get out.

 

I just wish it wasn't easier said then done.

Are things with mum at a stage/comfort level where you and your son could temporarily stay with her until you got together the money for your own place? And, would you feel secure that she'd treat your son well?

 

I am still dazed and confused but i think its by destiny I believe things only happen for a reason, it's up to make the choice to go in the path that is prewritten or if we choose to wander.

My sense is, that by considering your options, starting to save, reaching out to others and talking about your circumstances - that your choice to wander and find better way is perhaps a sign of you discovering the fearlessness in you to walk your true path - your own way.