How can I make his mom like me?

[HeatherPresley68]

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years and spent time with his parents a handful of times. The problem is that I'm a very shy person accept around my close friends. I just dont know what to say around them and I get so nervous because I want them to like me soo much. The other day for my bf's graduation he invited me and our two best friends over for a barbaque with his parents. One of our friend ashley seemed to hit it off so well with his mom. I couldn't help being a little bit jelouse. His mom barely talked to me at all accept to tell me that Ashley should help me find a job I'm fresh out of college and only have a work study job at the moment. Any ideas on how I can get to know his mom better? Conversation starters would be good to.

[Tigris]

How about taking her some flowers? I always find that opens the conversation up and she'll realise that you're trying to make an effort.

 

Also, try and pretend his Mother is one of your best friends. She's not an ogre so you don't have to worry about being eaten alive! hehehe

 

Have you ever thought that she probably finds conversation with you as difficult as you do with her?

 

This used to happen with my brother-in-law. It wasn't entirely his fault. It was the way his family treated each other. I used to dread calling at my sister's house when she and my nephew were out because the conversation would go like this - 'Have you been to work today? Yes! What shift were you on? 2-10! Where's Denise? She's gone shopping with Dionne! Where's Michael? Hes' out with his friends!' It was like getting blood out of a stone. In the end I had a word with Denise and said, 'I'm trying my best with Paul but I get one word answers or a short sentence, end of conversation.' She had a word with him and things progressed a lot faster and for years it's been brilliant!!!

 

Get your bf to have a word with his Mother and explain that you're trying your best to relax around her etc.

 

Have you tried offering to help her set the table for a meal? Clearing the table afterwards? Help with the washing up? I used to feel a bit uncomfortable around my Mother-in-law at first until I walked in the kitchen after helping to clear the table after a meal and asking for a tea towel to dry the pots. After that our conversations used to happen whilst we were alone together.

 

Don't forget little gestures of offering to do things will earn you 'big brownie points'.

 

Good luck

[HeatherPresley68]

Those are some great ideas you have. Thanks!!

[millaj]

Just be yourself, and don't try "too" hard. You can only be you, and eventually she'll come around to liking you.