Ever wonder why

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

Life is so difficult. We start out from the get go making decisions that will chose our paths. Hoping we make the correct ones, and learning when we don't.

 

We are always left wondering the what ifs and going from there.

 

I am making a life changing decision that after july 1st I will not be able to go back and change it. I just hope its the right one.

 

I have not been happy in my marriage for years, and it's time I face it and move on.

 

1 decision was to tell my sons real father about my son, he finally knows.

2 is to leave my husband who is abusive not only mentally but physically.

3 is to decide what i'm going to do once i set number 2 into motion.

 

I hope soon I will know the why. I know many of you have disagreed with the path I am chosing. But so far it is working out.

[ensign_19]

does it really matter who disagrees with you or who doesnt. i really feel that we should just do whatever feels right in our heart. over analysing things can confuse the hearts true desires . best of luck. Love yourself always.

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

Ty I am nervous about July 1st but at least I will know finally what I always wondered in the what ifs. Just not looking forward to facing my sons father after keeping the knowledge of his son from him for all these years. But it is what i get for being a coward.

[Hope75]

Why July 1st?

 

Did you get the paternity test done on your son?

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

Hope I keep asking you a question which you seem to ignore every time. Would you need a paternity test if you only had sex with 1 man in 3 months time. Or find out 4 weeks later that your 4 weeks pregnant. When he is the only one you have had sex with in 12 weeks or so. No I doubt you will question it. What makes a difference here. But yes I do plan to get it.

[RandomAdvisor]

dazed,

 

What you know is enough for you to be certain, but not enough for others. What about your son? Does he know the truth yet?

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

No i am still taking it one day at a time and trying to work that out.

[RandomAdvisor]

If and when you tell him DNA evidence this other man is really his father would help.

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

Well I do plan to get one because I do not want there to be any doubts ever. Other then my son looking just like my friend except for my hair and eye coloring, other then not having sex with my husband anywhere near the time of his conception, no I have no other proof til I do. But I know it would not only put my mind at ease, but bobs and my husbands to.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Life is hard because God hates us....or because we have trained to think of it as hard.

[avman]

Life is hard because God hates us

 

God does not hate us hun. It may feel that way sometimes but he's always there when things get rough. We were never promised an easy life.

[Hope75]

Hope I keep asking you a question which you seem to ignore every time. Would you need a paternity test if you only had sex with 1 man in 3 months time. Or find out 4 weeks later that your 4 weeks pregnant. When he is the only one you have had sex with in 12 weeks or so. No I doubt you will question it. What makes a difference here. But yes I do plan to get it.

It's funny that you keep asking me that, and I've asked you this question repeatedly as well and never gotten an answer. Your son whom you question his paternity is what, 10 years old now, right?

 

You claim that you and your husband never had sex in the three month window when you conceived. However, without question, your husband accepted that this child was his biological child despite the fact that it would be absolutely impossible if the two of you were not having sex, even once during the time you got pregnant. For 10 years or however old your son is now, your husband has NOT questioned his paternity?

 

So AGAIN I answer your question with this question. YES I would still get the paternity test, you were married and also having sex with another man while married. Your husband has not questioned his paternity- though I am only guessiing that he has a basic understanding of the way conception works and so must have been mighty suspicious if you indeed got pregnant when you were not sleeping with him.

 

See why your story just doesn't sound plausible?

 

See why then maybe you would want to get a paternity test before you virtually destroy your son's life selfishly because you are in love with someone who is IN JAIL for reasons that you do not know?

 

(we both know that your story of the weapon's charge is not likely- since he has a permit to carry a gun, was in fact a deputy, and you freely admitted on your other post that you agreed that the story you heard why this man was in prison just doesn't fly.)

 

The only person I feel badly for in this situation is your son- you don't know for certain and seem unwilling to get the paternity test done before taking steps like telling the other man that this is his son (when you don't know). It just seems flippant and selfish.

 

Are you more concerned with your son's welfare, or your interest in the man with whom you had an affair who is now in prison?

 

If you want to leave your marriage because your husband is abusive than by all means you should. If you want to investigate the paternity of your child with a test than by all means you should. There is a right way to do this, and a wrong way. An innocent child's well being lies in the balance- YOUR SON'S. WHY would you not want to do things the right way?