A Chance to change my life again

[Dreamsong29]

I'm having such a dilemma over whether or not to move back to where I was living before. I have to move out of my place in 2 months and find a new one but I'm not sure if I should commit myself to this area. This is a pretty involved story but I'll try not to be too windy. I really need advice because it's so complex it's confusing me.

 

Pro for staying where I am:

 

-- I have all these family obligations: I just moved back to my 'home' town 6 months ago to assist my family during a health crisis. All of my family lives in this area. I feel obligations here still.

 

-- I am in a relationship and I haven't had one for 3 years! However, if anyone read my thread in Infidelity you know that it's a less than perfect relationship. Things have ironed themselves out a bit, but he has some baggage that makes things a bit difficult (ie. kids from recently ended relationship). We also come from vastly different cultures. He is very traditional in his beliefs, especially pertaining to family issues. Of all my relationships, I think this is the most ideologically incompatible one I've ever had. BUT I'm almost 35. Maybe this is as good as it gets? I don't want to start looking again for someone to be with. And I enjoy being with him.

 

Financial plus: My BF wants us to find a 1BD apartment together, in which case my rent would be HALF what it would be should I choose to return to my previous county of residence. I am finishing a degree and really don't need the extra financial burden right now.

 

Pros for returning to where I lived before:

 

Close to my school Even though I am finished with classes, I need to meet with my professors about once per month over the next year to complete the requirements for the MA. It's a 3 hour drive from where I am now. I could find a place within 30 minutes of my college up there.

 

All my friends are there 'Nuff said.

 

My 'calling' is there And this is perhaps the most important. Where I was living previously, I ran a non-profit charity (on a volunteer basis) that I started in 2002. There is a lot of work to be done there still and I consider it my mission that I want to return to when I can.

 

I do not think that my BF will be able to move back to my town with me at any point. His children and family are down here. In some ways I feel that moving back would be an opportunity to free myself from him. But when I'm with him, I don't want to let him go. But I know that I have to return to my previous city. I guess right now it's an issue of putting it off. But the more I put it off, the more family obligations I will accrue because of my aging parents. Argh.

 

Anyone, advice?

[thegirl_00]

It just depends on which of those things are most important to you. I would definitly be thinking about the boyfriend. How much does he mean to you? You've been with him for so long and even though all your friends are where you lived before I would imagine that your boyfriend is probably your BEST friend right now.

Plus your family is where you are living now, family to me is SOOOO important. THey brought you into this world and will forgive you no matter what happeneds and they will be supportive.

If you really need to go back to talk to your professors then why don't you plan to do that on a weekend? Then you can go tehre for a weekend and see all your friends again. 3 hours really isn't that far away if you have a reliable way to get there.

I personally wouldn't leave where you are right now, but it's really up to you and what values mean the most to you.