I'm 17, he's 29...seeking helpful advice

[Stumbeline]

I have not yet started a real relationship with this 29 year old man as of yet, however, things have progressed rapidly and I am very confused. As far as our personalities go, we match. Our maturity levels are actually not far off, because I am and always have been mature for my age. He, on the other hand, is slightly immature for someone who is 29. He is, however, a responsible adult and a wonderful father to his four year old daughter (he is unmarried; he was divorced three years ago). We are part of a close knit circle of friends and I have known this man for several months. The only problem that we have is our age difference. I will be 18 in three months, and a sexual relationship will not occur until I am AT LEAST 18 (this has been discussed with him). I get along wonderfully with his entire family, as he does with mine. I'm looking for opinions on this matter, because all of our friends are totally for us getting together. Please respond with any advice that you may have.

[PublickStews]

1. Every girl thinks she's "more mature than her age"

2. He still sounds like a chester

3. Bad, bad, bad idea

[spun874554]

I have a couple of mates in a similar situation, Gav is 20 years old and his girlfriend is 31 years, old she has two kids (not Gavs) they have been together about 3 years, and both are very happy together.

 

But don't forget this lad you're seeings got a child, this may mean he may be a bit more tyed down may have too stay in and look after his child more. Thing is with Gav he's very easy going, and not very outgoing he's prepared too stay in with his partner, and look after someone else's child.

 

The age gap can later in life may become a problem, sometimes things can be great for the first few years, but eventually you will notice the age difference, you may start too want different things, he may want too start to settle down with you, as you are still living you're youth, this became another problem for another friend in you're situation,

 

My advise really is look for someone else, you don't want too be tyed down at seventeen, you should live abit first,

 

I hope this helps you a bit.

[pimpcess]

No no no no no!! I could not disagree more!!!

 

Age is nothing!! I was 17 and had a very successful relationship with a man who was 11 years older and lived an hour away!! We lasted 8 months but it was the distance not the age that broke us!!

 

If u care enough u can overcome any obsticles life throws at u, it sounds like u got something good do not let it slip girl!!

 

Trust me, damn u'd regret it... good luck,

[_da_one_69]

I'm not much of a smooth guy around girl. But i do know what is love.

Well if u love the guy that much then there is nothing to say. Love is Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Believe in the posibilities of the imposible"

[glassbell]

If you love him, and have spent time thinking about if you'll be able to live with the fact that he has a kid which will perhaps make certain fun things to do impossible or difficult to do, and especially if your friends think you'll be a great couple (that is usually a good indicator), I'd say, why not?

 

Like Spun and Pimpcess said, an age gap of 12 years doesn't have to be a problem at all. (I also have a cousin who was 19 when she met her 31 year old boyfriend, they're lovely together!). The only thing is that perhaps you'll have to make some more efforts to stand up for yourself in situations in which he might think he has more right to be the decision maker, because he's older and more experienced. If you know what I mean. Make sure you maintain mutual respect, equal power.. etc., actually like in every relationship. Whether this'll cause a problem of course depends on the person he is and you are.

 

Sure! I wish you good luck.

~Glassbell

[Turboz]

I would say that age should be ignored. After all it's actually only an indication of how many times the earth has orbited the sun in someone's life right? (To think if you asked someone how many orbits they'd experienced they would think you were mad so why take age to seriously?)

 

If you like this man and your friends think you should get it together then go for it. Friends are not normally wrong about these things - they have the advantage that they can stand back and look at your situation logically. They can obviously see that you both like eachother so just go for it and see what happens.

 

With regards to the 4 yr old daughter, why should that be a problem? - At least you will know one thing: He has no commitment problems. The daughter may actually be what binds you both together and keeps you both feeling young. If you don't mind an instant family then why hold back? (Of course that is the only way you can look at it - ready made family). If your going to make something of this relationship then always remember that you will be taking a child on aswell as the man - You can't simply ignore the child and leave it to him to look after.

 

I'm in the opposite situation. I'm chasing after a 34 yr old woman who has a 7 yr old son. I'm 21 (though I told her 27). The thing is she doesn't even speak english and I have to get an interpreter every time I speak to her on the phone!. She's also about 2000 miles away . It has to be said though she's the most beautiful and ost talented woman I have ever seen so it's worth chasing after her..

 

good luck

[winkie]

I am not saying that it is a bad idea, However, I think that you need to experience things that a young adult should experience and he needs to do things that an adult male needs to do. It may work out but I do not think you should jump into a relationship with an older man and a child right away. Maybe you can see each other but leave yourself open to do other things that any normal 17/18 year old would do. I know you say you are mitour but please dont rush yourself. You do not want to miss out on anything and regret it in the future. I know you probably think you wont but trust me you will.