OMG I called him.......help me.....

[alteer]

Here is my earlier post.

 

 

 

I can't believe I called him last night. I was feeling really positive yesterday and hadn't spoken to him in a week. This is what happened:

 

We used to spend a lot of time with his friends, who's wives and girlfriends became my friends, but we would only ever see each other when the guys were around - you know how it is.

 

Anyway one of his mates wives rang me last night because my ex went to their place on Sat. night and that was first time she'd heard that we broke up. She didn't have my phone number and he told her to give him her cell phone so he could enter my number into it, and told her to give me a call. Apparently he said to her 'there is not point in you loosing contact. We're going to stay friends anyway so give her a call.'

 

Now I wouldn't have called her because I've been in this weird situation before when you break up and still hang with 'their' circle of friends (they were his friends before he met me) and to me that's just plain weird.

 

Mind you I didn't tell him I would remain friends with him because I'm not sure I can put myself through that.....I really love this guy.

 

Anyway after she called I called him.....I don't even know why I did so I had to make up some BS to justify why I'd called. I told him I was missing something and wondered if it was with the box of his crap that i'd returned.

 

I feel like a looser right now. I so didn't want to break. But I did. And wish I could take it back.

 

Please tell me how you handle these urges? And I just can't figure out what he's doing. Why is he telling people to call me? Last night I was told that he's worried about me (don't know why) and he wants to know that I'm ok.

 

I just don't get it

[kadvati79]

Use this "break" of NC as ammunition against the urge for the next one. You gave it a go and it burned you, so next time you will feel a bit more shy. Eventually, you will reach a point where you decide "enough pain is enough" and NC becomes a absolute reality in your mind.

 

I wouldn't sweat on it, you did what you felt you had too. Now try and learn from it. It may happen again, don't beat yourself up, but each time try and learn from it and use it as ammunition against the urges.

[alteer]

I know I shouldn't beat myself up. I think to much and usually beat myself up over everything I do that's just a little stupid. I just couldn't help it......I miss him so much and I can't stand the way it makes me feel.

 

And I don't get why he is asking people who are 'his' friends to call me?!! I'm very confused right now.

[stolenshadow]

Hello, I read your previous post and I can understand why you are very confused, the guy is giving you mixed info all over the place.

 

But let's look at the facts, the relationship ended and he hasn't said he regrets it, what else is there to it?.

 

He didn't say he wanted to sort problems, he didn't even say that "marriage" conversation had been a problem until months later!, you had every right to talk about what you wanted and you could ask if he wanted the same, he didn't give you an answer, he freaked out and tried to distance from you, imagine him as a husband, whenever a problem arises he won't discuss it and will just try to get out of the situation.

 

He asked you for time, that's fine, but now it seems he's just stringing you along.

 

I don't know if I understood correctly that he said to a friend of his you two were "going to stay friends anyway", if that's true I wonder how he concluded you were okay with that and what makes him think you are going to be happy just hanging close to him.

 

If you two don't want the same things it's time to end the relationship; When an investment is not giving you profits you don't invest more and more until you end bankrupt.

But, if there are other things going on like him not respecting your privacy and using his friends to lead you on then it's really time to run.

 

I think it would be a good idea to have as little contact as possible with HIS friends and HIS family, you need to heal from this, the guy is not good for you and he's not the right one.

 

It seems to me the break up is still very recent, your relationship lasted quite a bit, I'm afraid you'll have to be very patient with this process.

You can post here instead of phoning him, feel free to PM me too if you want.

[alteer]

Hi stolenshadow,

 

I've pm'd you.