NeptuneCF_ Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 After 6 months of NC she wants to "hang out". I told her I would call her today to plan to meet today. If I dont call her it will be rude right? I cant get myself to do it and the weirdest part is I have no idea why. FYI she broke NC and I have been putting off a meeting for sometime. It is getting to the point that if I dont do something about it now, who knows how long she'll wait for. Please, some words of encouragment would really help. Link to comment
coooolsome Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 Well it depends. How healed are you? Do you want her back? She may just want to "hang out" as friends and are you ready for that? Do you think you could go meet her and just have a fun time together and not let your emotions get in the way? Link to comment
bacci Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 I think that you might give it a try and be prepared to make it a short outing, just for both of you to get a taste of how things feel right now. I think you're sacerd of getting hurt and rightfully so. I am afraid if you postpone it you might saty wondering what it would have been like. If you feel uncomfortable be prepared to leave, if it feels bad afterwards don't do it again. I don't know have you been talking about a possible reconciliation or something? Link to comment
blender Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 You're not ready, plain and simple, I've been there, and when you feel like you "just can't bring yourself to" whatever... well it's time to "stop" and just call her and be in a "hurry" like you have to go somewhere, and simply say, "today isn't going to work out for me, so let's get together another time, I've gotta go,".... Could you do this? It would be much safer for your heart to get to an emotional place where you feel more ready to actually see her.. believe me it's best to "wait" till then, if you can.. it is best for YOU.... it's okay to postpone the meeting.. she doesn't know what you are "feeling" so don't over analyze putting it off, she won't think anything of it, just do it for yourself, call and postpone, it's fine, I've done this, and I breathed a sigh of relief, because I was still to vulnerable to "see" my ex... ya know what I mean? And your ex has NO idea what's going through your head, so don't worry about calling and postponing the fact is "you just can't make it today"... that's all she needs to know, not "why", not "what you are doing instead", just "I can't make it today, I'll call another time"... whatever, do what is best and safe for YOU for today... and get off the phone quickly, have in your mind that you are "just leaving some appointment and going to another and quickly had a chance to call her with a change of plans"... this is an "acting job" for you to "wait" till you are ready, and remember she only knows what you tell her for today, so keep it simple, and get some more "time and space" under your belt before seeing her... Link to comment
NeptuneCF_ Posted May 9, 2006 Author Share Posted May 9, 2006 Well it depends. How healed are you? Do you want her back? She may just want to "hang out" as friends and are you ready for that? Do you think you could go meet her and just have a fun time together and not let your emotions get in the way? We havent said anything about getting together. It is just simply a meeting nothing more nothing less. More of a friends thing than anything else and im Ok with that; which is why its so weird that I cant get myself to do it. Link to comment
beanpaper Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 It's not weird, you're not really friends so why meet as friends. It's odd that she keeps pushing you to meet when you are reluctant. I say don't bother - with the way you're feeling it'll surely be awkward. Link to comment
NeptuneCF_ Posted May 9, 2006 Author Share Posted May 9, 2006 Im still happy shes trying to contact me and I want to meet with her and I want her to be in my life she reminds me of happier times and her being there might just bring some of it back. It wont hurt if nothing progresses, just her being there is good enough for me. So I guess I will be contacting her today no matter how awkward it will be life will go on. Facing it will only help me in the future. Link to comment
beanpaper Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 Sounds like you've convinced yourself then. I hope it goes well for you. Link to comment
BONO Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 Im still happy shes trying to contact me and I want to meet with her .......... Facing it will only help me in the future. Swerve ball !!! Are you serious about this ????????????????????????????????? Think ... Scruff Link to comment
NeptuneCF_ Posted May 9, 2006 Author Share Posted May 9, 2006 Swerve ball !!! Are you serious about this ????????????????????????????????? Think ... Scruff sorry, but I dont get it? Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 Slowly slowly cachy cachy monky. Go see the lay of the land after ask your self what next. then come back here and we'll prep you for your next jump in to the bad lands. HUTT! Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 scruffism just being English Link to comment
BONO Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 sorry, but I dont get it? Sorry, pal its late ha ha ! Two questions 1) Do you want her back as a friend 2) Do you want her back as a G Friend Scruff Link to comment
NeptuneCF_ Posted May 9, 2006 Author Share Posted May 9, 2006 Sorry, pal its late ha ha ! Two questions 1) Do you want her back as a friend 2) Do you want her back as a G Friend Scruff second one, but the first one im willing to live with. Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 as scruffism says once you know you can act, best thing to do is go see her and see how she acts, be nice, say your doing well, say you missed her. But wait and see how hers and yours feeling pay out. Then you will know how you would like things to go. This could just be a check up on you to see if your doing ok. Or she my be seeing how she feels about you. Lisen to her and see where she is, then ask your self how you feel about that. Link to comment
BONO Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 second one, but the first one im willing to live with. So your happy to "live with " for example hanging out with her new BF in a few months time .....say at a party/bar or social event??????( Just as long as she is in your life) Link to comment
ocrob Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Hello, I just read the posts and from scruffism I am not sure if she currently has a boyfriend. I say do it, if it will not hurt too badly. After five months of NC and having my ex try to e-mail twice, I just wrote her a few weeks ago. I was afraid it would set me back and did not. I went NC when she started seeing someone and she still is. But, it was pretty cool talking to her. I made it clear we would always be friends, but probably only talk every six months. May sound lame, but I have been fine. When I first read her e-mail my heart sunk for about 2 minutes. She is a cool woman and we had some great times. I gave up hope and have been having plenty of fun. I say that it can't hurt to meet with her, if it won't make you regress. But, do not give her the satisfaction of seeing you the way you once were or the way I was. If she is just looking for adoration, then F her. But, if she just misses you and wants to see you, then be confident and happy to see her and don't let her see you sweat. lol Link to comment
photomo Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Neptune... ...Be sure to post how it went - I'll also be meeting up with my ex next week, and I'd greatly appreciate any advice you can offer once you have seen your ex. Good luck, and remember to be yourself - the person you were when your ex fell in love with you. Also, unless you can handle it, do not ask direct questions which will prompt your ex for an emotional response. photomo Link to comment
NeptuneCF_ Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Didnt go to good, big mistake going along with it because in the end its just games. Really sorry if this is discouraging to anyone. Link to comment
blender Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 It's okay, you'll get through this, at least you made an effort, and this is now the information you needed to help you heal and move on.. you are going to rise above all this and be so much better of, learn, move on, and be a better you... she was just a "bridge" to something better.... best, blender Link to comment
NeptuneCF_ Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Thanks guys means a lot. I was supposed to meet her so I could get money from her which she owed. I needed this money right now but I dont know how to go about getting it. If I try contacting her it might make me look like im acting desperate or something to talk to her. All I want is the money right now. Dont want to looks cheap either. Wouldnt mind meeting her at the same time but whats the point. How would you guys suggest me going about this? Link to comment
dna_girl Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 maybe you can email her and ask her to leave at a dept office/desk with a receptionist or what not if you go to school, or somewhere where you can get it without having to see her... you can be polite in asking for it back so you don't look cheap, but at the same time firm and concise so she knows you are not using this as an excuse to talk to her.. Link to comment
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