interesting...

[SnoGirl42]

i think its kind of odd how my boyfriend always says things like "i can't stay away from girls like you" he doesn't say exactly that but its very similar. and it's making me think. we've only been official for about 3 months now and he's never said things like this before so finally i said something and he didn't get defensive or anything but said "you're right...wrong thing to say" i've already been having some sort of suspicion but thought it was basically out of insecurity from being hurt in the past...but now this just added to the fire. what is your opinion?

[Dako]

So he's with you because you fit a standard type? Pretty insensitive.

[SnoGirl42]

yeah that thought crossed my mind as well

[AwdreeHpburn]

Why is that insensitive again?

 

Is it wrong that he HAS a type of that he said SHE is his type?? The type he likes and can't stay away from...

 

I don't get insensitive. I have a feeling he was trying to be complimentary and maybe when he realised how you took it, he felt like it was the wrong thing to say.

 

I got more like..."I really like girls like you" means - "I can't resist you"

 

Could be in the delivery, phrasing or the perception of the receiver.

 

Just my point of view and like Elmo sang to the queen of trash in Elmo in Grouchland, "It's all about your point of view..."

[itsallgrand]

What's your insecurity? What is it that you are worried about?

 

It really depends on what his intention was. If he meant 'girls like you' as in: trouble, or something else that would be negative...yes, not good.

 

If he meant it as a compliment but it just came out wrong...no big deal.

[Dako]

Ta_re_saw,

I stand corrected. It could be an innocent poke or compliment, but I sensed Snogirl was bothered by it.

 

My bad.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Yeh - I think she was bothered by it Dako. She has a right to be. I was just sort of wondering why?

[keenan]

Sometimes it's nice to believe that you're loved for your uniqueness. A better compliment than "you're just my type" may be "I've never met anyone like you before."

 

I suspect that's where SnoGirl was coming from....

[AwdreeHpburn]

Ok - I think we need some clarification.

 

What did YOU think he meant snoGirl? What do you think he meant by, "wrong thing to say."

 

What were/are the suspicions you're already having?

[SnoGirl42]

now that i really thought about it i think he meant it as a compliment. I honestly don't know what he meant by his response by "wrong thing to say".

 

As for the insecurities, his friends and himself had me believing that he was really really picky when it came to girls. So I thought ok thats cool because then if he's really picky he hasn't been with that many. Well, I later found out that couldn't have been further from the truth as he has supposedly slept with over twenty women. So that is where my insecurity with him stems from because here they had me thinking one thing but that was partially true. I guess they meant picky when it came to girls that he really had feelings for. but its slowly going away.

[Momene]

now that i really thought about it i think he meant it as a compliment. I honestly don't know what he meant by his response by "wrong thing to say".

 

As for the insecurities, his friends and himself had me believing that he was really really picky when it came to girls. So I thought ok thats cool because then if he's really picky he hasn't been with that many. Well, I later found out that couldn't have been further from the truth as he has supposedly slept with over twenty women. So that is where my insecurity with him stems from because here they had me thinking one thing but that was partially true. I guess they meant picky when it came to girls that he really had feelings for. but its slowly going away.

 

He's with you now and you're in a relationship and as long as he hasn't been unfaithful while in a relationship, you've littel to fear.

[Siriana]

Let's not be too optimistic - if you feel bothered, then your intuition might be telling you something. Comment: I can't stay away from girls like you doesn't mean I can't stay away from you because I love you. Maybe with this comment he was telling only about sexual attraction you two have, and it's up to you to decide wheter there is emotional connection between you to. Maybe it was a compliment and maybe he told something he thinks deep down inside - and that is lust not love.

You know the best.

About his words: it was wrong to say that - I don't know what to think - it would include too much guessing form my side, so I have no idea

[keenan]

Well, I later found out that couldn't have been further from the truth as he has supposedly slept with over twenty women. So that is where my insecurity with him stems from because here they had me thinking one thing but that was partially true.

 

Wow, I guess he really *can't* stay away from girls like you! I now see why the comment might make you uncomfortable.

 

The worst case is that he's warning you, but he really probably meant it as a compliment. I honestly wouldn't read too much into a single comment like this unless he often says things that put your intuition into overdrive. Give him the benefit of the doubt for now, enjoy what you have with him...but keep half an eye open.

[AwdreeHpburn]

what's slowly going away? His feelings? What makes you say that?

 

i agree with keenan, don't put too much intot he particular comment but pay attention to the whole picture.