Sister Moving Home

[Dancerella]

I think that this is something that alot of siblings of university students can relate to as their siblings come home for the summer.

My sister who is 19 has recently moved home for the summer from university. She hardly comes home during the year and she doesnt exactly understand the family dynamics, and how they have changed. She comes home, and its alomost like she is trying to de-throne me, because when she is gone, I am the oldest child at my house and its a role that I am quite comfortable with. She makes a big deal out of everything that happens here, and she tries to make her own rules.

Last summer when she came home, it was like WW3. (AKA, it was horrible). It was basically constant fighting. We didnt get along at all, and I dont really want to have that happen this summer. As soon as she comes home, all of the stupid small things start to bug me. For instance, right now, she is sitting in the seat where I sit every night at supper. It annoys me to the point where I just want to scream at her.

My parents do listen to each side of the issue, and they are really good about it. However, come the middle of June (when she has been home for a month and a half), they dont want to see us fight or hear our issues.

My problems are

1) How should I deal with her being home and trying to run the show when she doesnt know how it works here anymore.

and

2) Should a problem arise, what should I do so I dont end up saying something that I will later regret

 

Thanks in advance,

Dancerella

[agent1607307371]

Avoid your sister. Seriously. Thats how I didn't kill my little sister.

 

As the university sibling, when I finally came home, the dynamics had changed to such an extent that even now I feel completely outside of a family of three that closed ranks when I left.

Try to see your sisters pov here.

 

And when she is there, you aren't the older child no matter how comfortable you are with that role, you don't get to 'usurp' her position without fighting for it. Ever see a documentary on hierarchy in animal packs. Its like that.

 

Either that or you could talk to her. Work out a truce.

[renaissancewoman101]

Sometimes the best thing is to just deal with it and let it go. She is only here till the end of summer which is only about three months away. Like the other poster said, avoid her as much as possible. She might be having problems adjusting to living back at home and is trying to deal with it by being assertive about everything.

 

When I went off to college, I came home my first summer and stayed home the whole summer. That was a hell of an experience. Fought with my brother, fought with my parents over the use of the car, staying out late. Maybe she is having a hard time adjusting to living at home, under the parents's rules and stuff like that so she is trying to lash out at you.

 

After my first summer at home from college, I never came back home for more than a week. Even now that I am back in my parents' vicinity (2 hour drive), I go home to see them about once every week or two weeks and I usually only stay a few hours or just overnight.

[Tigris]

Prove that you are the more mature of their daughters by not letting your sister get to you. If she sits in your seat just sit somewhere else and don't look bothered. Your sister is trying to wind you up. Plus it's obvious that she's jealous because you've been getting all of your parents attention while she's been away.

 

Your parents want to spend time with her while she's home because they're missing out, the last thing they need it you two arguing all the time. Try putting yourself in your parents shoes and think how you'd feel if you were in that situation.

 

Make things easier by being friendly towards her. Your parents will be grateful that you're making an effort and be proud of you. Also, you may discover that you've wound your sister up unintentionally by doing the total opposite to what she's expecting.

 

Good luck

[Dancerella]

I really appreciate all of the advice

Thanks