So, what does it feel like to have a girlfriend?

[Ross_K]

It must feel amazing.

[Beyondthesea]

Ross, with that mug shot you've never had a girlfriend? Are you really shy?

 

Get out there and use that sweet face!

[Sylph]

Yeah, I really don't want to be offensive here but you've kind of made a few topics exactly like this. I think you need to understand that life does not revolve around getting into a relationship, I'm sure it doesn't seem like it right now but the chances are you're not missing out on much. Especially if the ammount of heart ache people on this forum alone seem to go through with relationships, is any indication of what most relationships are like.

[Luke Skywalker]

Will someone on this board - please go out with my friend Ross_K.

 

Anyone living in England here?

[Ross_K]

It's probably just a really good photo. The response I get from girls is as though I'm ugly.

 

And yeah, I'm shy. But shy guys still have girls showing interest in them and sometimes even get girlfriends.

 

I think you need to understand that life does not revolve around getting into a relationship

 

It does if you've never had one before and you can't get one. You could say exactly the same thing about air, or friends.

[Luke Skywalker]

It's probably just a really good photo. The response I get from girls is as though I'm ugly.

 

And yeah, I'm shy. But shy guys still have girls showing interest in them and sometimes even get girlfriends.

 

Come one, you have a great photo! Post it on an internet dating site.

 

I get allot of girls saying I'm ugly too. So, what. I'm dont need every girl to like me, just the one who really sees something in me that nobody else does. And that's the type of girl you need too.

[Meow18]

I suppose the feeling of having a girlfriend could be the same as the feeling of having a boyfriend. In that case, I won't lie, it's a good feeling.

 

But you know, if you can't be happy on your own, how can someone else be happy with you? Life can't just be about being in a relationship. It's great when you have someone to share your life with, but why should that be your main source for happiness? You are relying too much on someone else then.

[Ross_K]

I don't even know how accurate the photo is though, there's plenty of photos where I look completely different and ugly.

 

But you know, if you can't be happy on your own, how can someone else be happy with you?

 

So you're telling me you'd still feel happy if you were 30 years old and never even so much as had a boy show interest in you?

 

Life can't just be about being in a relationship.

 

I never said it was, but it still is a very important part of life, like having friends, having people that love you or breathing air.

 

It's great when you have someone to share your life with, but why should that be your main source for happiness? You are relying too much on someone else then

 

I think it's probably most people's main source of happiness.

 

I'm sure a person having a partner is going to be better for their well being than having a good job, having loads of material things or being really wealthy.

[xmrth]

Do what you can and let it happen, but don't go about it like you've got to have one NOW NOW NOW.

 

It's like a cycle: it effects other things in life which in turn effects your chances of someone "finding you."

[Goodfun88]

I think you are way to negative and down on yourself. You probably don't even believe that you deserve a girlfriend. You do though. You should work on being more positive and focus on the good qualities you have. Get out there and meet people. Don't sit at home and wonder why you don't have a girlfriend. Get out there and meet people. Join an online dating service. Ask friends to set you up. Anything. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to get a girlfriend right away. It'll take time to meet the right person that you click with so just enjoy dating. Good luck to you, you seem like a great guy and I'm sure you'll find what your looking for!

[Beyondthesea]

Honestly, if you want a relationship so much, why aren't you involved in activities where you can meet people, internet dating, speed dating, and that sort of thing? It's fun! Dating is supposed to be for fun.

 

Just go out and take a peek around you. Ask a few women on dates, what could it hurt? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take some action

[Meow18]

I don't even know how accurate the photo is though, there's plenty of photo where I look completely different and ugly.

 

Well the good thing is that we all have different tastes. So what one person thinks is ugly, another person doesn't.

 

Why are you so down on yourself? A girl isn't going to want to be with someone who thinks he is ugly and can't get past that. Why not try to think positive things about yourself.

 

You know, not everyone is the most beautiful or handsome person in the world. But there are still people out there who will think otherwise. You just have to be your own best friend and feel confident about who you are before someone else will take the chance to see it too.

[bobo85]

You have it all wrong. You just don't meet a girl and you guys become gf/bf. Thats really jr high/high school. Nowadays...especially when you are in your 20's+ years old.....you start talking and dating girls. When i say dating that doesn't mean your in a relationship, it just means you are spending time with girls in a romantic way. Once you meet some girls...you will eventually develop feelings for one more deeply than another. So if she feels the same you two will become exclusive and that my friend is a gf.

 

So get out of the house and start meeting girls or start online dating.

 

good luck,

bobo

[Starfall]

Go buy an adorable little dog and walk it.

Or.... go and grab your cute little nieces or nephews and go to the park, if you have them.

Seriously though... it will happen. You can't make it happen.

Confidence is the most attractive thing anyone can have.

Another hint. If you act desperate to women... it's a turn-off.

Act as if you don't care... turn on.

Get out there and have fun. If girls aren't interested then there is a young

lady out there who will be thankful. You haven't met her yet. She is out there. I promise.

[Ross_K]

Honestly, if you want a relationship so much, why aren't you involved in activities where you can meet people, internet dating, speed dating, and that sort of thing? It's fun! Dating is supposed to be for fun.

 

Just go out and take a peek around you. Ask a few women on dates, what could it hurt? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take some action

 

It's hard to do that when you suffer from SA though.

[Luke Skywalker]

I know how Ross_K feels. Best thing to do when you feel like this , is to just to a hot attractive artist singing some sexy tune - and make-believe you have a girlfriend when you listen to the music. Sometimes, I hug pillows and listen to nice music at the same time. I think Mariah Carrey is an example of a good artist and I like her song dreamlover - and, let's see, we've got, Mitsou, she had a nice song, loving me is not a sin or something, and hey, guess there are a few others.

 

I've never had a girlfriend, but what you are really benefiting from in that arrangement, is the personal female attention that you are getting on an exclusive basis, which could get addictive like a drug. The problem is there is no constancy behind it, and like anything else that's fleeting in this world, so are relationships. The minute there is a break-up, you feel worst than when you did start, because, as others have said, you then realise what you are missing in your life.

 

Oh, and Mariah Carrey (sp?) also sung this song 'there can be miracles when you believe', nice song to listen to. Believe and go forward.

[Goodfun88]

Why don't you join an SA support group, you'll meet others like you, and maybe you'll make friends there?

[bobo85]

and to answer your question....having a girlfriend is great...especially when you fall in love with each other. Its the greatest feeling in the world. But beware...with the word "love" follows the word "pain". When you love someone...you are risking heartbreak.

 

I'm only 20 years old and i've only had one relationship that went on for a little less than 3 years. She was my first love and i was her first love. Things didn't work out between us but those were the best 3 years of my life and i wouldn't trade them for the world.

[Beyondthesea]

SA? What do you mean?

[Ross_K]

Social anxiety.

 

There's another reason for why I can't try online dating but it's pretty embarrasing.

[Ross_K]

I'm already on medication, and I'll be going seeing a therapist.

[Starfall]

Good, maybe he'll put you on the correct medication to help you. Sometimes you'll have to be put on 3-4 different drugs to help you with this until you find one that works. SA, yes drugs can help.. gaining confidence... needs to come from loving yourself. Start changing the way you think. That's what a therapist will do with you. It's like your brain is a computer. A therapist will work with you to re-program your computer/brain.. where there is only positive input and output and you'll have to delete the negatives.

Things will get better, you'll see. Until you feel better about yourself, you won't be in a position to offer much to somone.

[Goodfun88]

Whats the reason you can't do online dating?

[Starfall]

Another start is to delete that comment you have in your messages that states..(unable to attract a human being)

You won't have girls flocking to you with that comment.

[Goodfun88]

Naples, you?