Friendship problems...?

[truthbetold]

I need some help. I am a 20yr old woman going out with an almost 30yr old man, blah blah blah, I'm sure you've read my other posts. That isn't the problem right now. My best friend is a guy. He is a year older than me. We've been best friends for about 7 or 8 years! We were more than friends very briefly (almost 2 weeks) and then once we started getting hot and heavy we decided we would rather just be friends and not ruin what we have. Currently I'm in a relationship, and he is too. Both of us found out, about the same time even, that our partners had cheated on us (not with each other obviously) He was upset and so was I, and so we hung out alot talking to each other about our problems because they were similar. He is a really good guy, and he even says about how much he still loves her and would never want to cheat on her. I feel the same about my boyfriend, I love him with all my heart and I can't even think of cheating on him, but that's the problem...

 

The last time my best friend was over my house he was talking about when we went out, and saying how he thought we were always meant to be together in the long run. And I'm pregnant! So he even said how he can't wait to be my child's godfather. He continued to say things about how nice I am, and how I shouldn't be treated that way, and he knows I would treat him better than his g/f does. Now at this point I was flattered but very nervous. He also said things about how he never wanted to have sex with a pregnant woman, but that I don't look pregnant so he could have sex with me! I didn't even know what to say. I told him that I wouldn't do that to my b/f, and he said I know, I wouldn't do that to my g/f. (also he like to come over at like 12am or later lol he always had, and my mom never had a problem with it) So finally my mom came home. I was relieved, the whole time I was thinking about my boyfriend and what he would do or say if he knew. A couple of days later I told my boyfriend what he had said, and said I just wanted you to know, because I didn't cheat on you, and I wouldn't, I felt so uncomfortable and I couldn't get you off my mind. My boyfriend didn't seem to bothered by this (I guess because he has faith in me) He said don't worry about it, and that was about it.

 

Now this is a couple weeks later, and my best friend called yesterday evening wanting to know what I was doing so he could see if he could come over and hang out. My mom wasn't home and my step father was going to bringing my sister to soccer practice soon, so I told him I was bringing my sister to soccer practice (made up fake plans because I didn't know what to do).

 

This guy is my best friend, and I don't want to be blowing him off because of anything. It would be hard to tell him that I felt uncomfortable, because he did keep saying things like don't get me wrong I still love (his g/f's name which happens to be the same as mine) with all my heart, I'm just saying, I could see something happening. I can't blow him off forever, I just don't know what to do. I still have feelings for him but as a friend, and I don't want a night of hanging out, to turn into a night of regret you know? I can trust myself not to do anything, for the most part, but sometimes I don't know...

[green_tea_81]

Wow... All guys have a hidden agenda. The point could be that he wants to have sex with you because he knows that he cannot get you pregnant. Believe me I wouldn't have sex with him. Yes, he's your friend but he's a guy as well! Chances are if you were to have sex with him you'd both regret it afterward.

[sweetharmony]

you might want to discuss you're feeling uncomfortable with his actions. i know you're best friends and you don't want to upset him, but

 

a. you're pregnant. if he respects you as a friend, he will back off.

b. you have a serious boyfriend

 

if he is serious about your friendship he should understand that he is way crossing the line. be firm. a true friend will listen to you and respect you. yes, it's true he's interested in more. but if you aren't... you might want to put your foot down re: his behavior. not hurt him, but also not letting him take advantage fo the friendship to turn into more. and trust yourself that you won't succumb to his advances. if you are afraid, then perhaps no more midnight "meetings."

[kristo]

Wow... All guys have a hidden agenda.

Er... I hate to break it to you, but not all guy's have ulterior motives!