a million smirks....

[canobussqween]

my b/f and i broke up two months ago and recently got back together. for the two months we broke up we needed some time apart to think things through and to figure out somethings, we were fighting a lot too that led us to break up. the same day we broke up, he wanted to go to a party and meet up with a couple of his boys and this girl that he was friends with. i know this is bad and all but when he left i knew all the pass words to all of his accounts, so i went through it all proveing he was making plans to meet up with this girl on numerous accounts.

 

blah blah blah.. to get to the point, we got back together like a month later and i had talked to him about it and he says he did meet up with her, but when i asked him if he did anything he would deny it and have this stupid smirk on his face. i know him very well, and this is not some two week relationship, we've been together for 3 yrs now and i know when he smirks, it is a lie. i still ask him about it because i sespect something of it.

 

what does smirking usually mean?

 

well, i wanted to confront the girl and ask her myself but i dont know if that is a good idea, if i cant get the answer out of him then what should i do? im afraid that if i ask her this question that either 1. she wont tell me the truth, 2. if he was really telling me the truth, i would make myself look like the complete idiot, or 3. i wont get a response cuz shes a concided snob.

 

would i be wrong to ask her?

 

i ve been trying to forget about this and have been trying to learn how to trust this but i really need to know the truth cuz he wants to move to FL with me and get married and i dont want to be with him if he has cheated on me.

[loveydovey]

I think you should just leave it alone because you will only make yourself miserable if you keep thinking about the situation. If you two broke up, do you think it's fair to judge him over something that happened during the break-up period. Regardless of the fact that you two are now back together, you can't actually say that he cheated on you. This is just my opinion, though.

[kadvati79]

If you want to be with him, and make it work, then you are going to have to forgive and forget. Otherwise it will haunt the relationship and kill it. If you can't just move on, then you need to revisit the issue and thrash it till it is dead and buried.

 

Why does it bother you? Is it that you feel insecure? Or is it that you are worried he will do it again? You cannot control your partner, you have to trust him. People do make mistakes, and they should own up to them. But sometimes we don't. Nobody is perfect.

 

When you got back together you should have buried this.

 

I would sit him down, be frank and honest with him, and say that you just want to bury the past. I would say that you don't need to know what happened in the past, but that you are struggling with it and you want his reassurance that you can trust him in the future.

 

Remember! This is about the FUTURE not the PAST. He cannot change the past and neither can you. The issue here is trusting him for the future. I wouldn't be confrontational about it, stress that you just want him to reassure you for the future.

 

Good luck

[canobussqween]

i think ur right icemotoboy, it is whats in the future and the present that needs to be focused on not the past. i really thought about it and i wouldent want to talk to the girl that he was talking to, i dont really want her to get involved.. kinda werid. but i dont understand if anything did happen then y the smirks? i tried n tried to get it out of him but it never happened...

[goddess23]

personally i thrive on honesty. and if i cant trust my partner i would not wanna be with them. its one thing if its a white lie here a nd there but lying about something like this? he didnt cheat on you, you cant do anything there. but itsabout honesty at this point. can you deal with that??