NC with stalking: ridiculous?

[virtualwater]

hi everyone. I'd like to say thanks in advance for your replies, advice and opinion..

 

I am currently in the middle of a 'break-up' situation, which is a little confusing and unclear. I can go into a the details of the circumstances, but it would be out of this thread.

 

What I'm facing right now is a problem with NC, basically the guy I'm breaking up with was in special forces and his "thing" was stalking and tracking criminals. So even though I've cut contact with him, I hardly lasted 2 days after which he called me (yeah I couldnt help it and answered his call) to tell me laughingly that "you are watching too many silly movies that are getting into your head". He usually watches me, follows me, or worse sends someone from his 'x-team' buddies to do him a favor by 'keeping an eye on me'. I had been going to movies with friends and with my sister just to keep my mind off things.

 

How the hell can I keep an NC policy if he watches me anyway? I am freaking out, keep watching people around me, guessing where he might be hiding and watching me from. The funny thing is I was wathcing a movie at HOME with my sis, so where the hell could he have known that? we were alone. I even closed the shutters in the entire house, my sis thought I'm weird. I didn't tll her, how could I?

 

I feel that even if we break up, I'm going to fee haunted, as if he's going to watch my every move and see how I'm 'moving on', which will make moving-on seem ridiculous. Besides, I'm jealous and upset at his advantage in the situation.

 

Any advice?

 

P.S. he's not abusive or dangerous or anything like that, but he's a show-off who likes to brag about his abilities (one of them stalking people).

[Caterina]

Even though he's a nice guy, what he is doing is a form of terrorizing. The obvious answer from the outside perspective is that you warn him that you will report him to other authorities if he does not let you be.

[southerngirl]

If he is stalking you then you should get a restraining order. From what you are saying here he is abusing the tools that he has to do his job. Perhaps you could contact his superiors with the service? Im sure they would love to help you.

[shyanne]

he sounds crazy to me not nice. he needs help, that's just not normal. call the police and have him charged

[NJRon]

You need to start collecting "evidence" [so that you can build a case. just calling the police or his superiors is not going to get you very far with no proof that he is stalking you. The best thing to do would be to keep track of when he contacts you. Then, if/when you decide to contact the police, you will have some material evidence showing that he continues to harass you. You can even get your number changed and, if he calls again (which i'm sure he would just to prove he could) that would further your case.

 

As it is, I hope you are using a wholy new handle for this site.

[kadvati79]

Do you know his CO (commanding officer) well?

 

If so, a quick call to the base will solve all these problems I recall base legal having to deal with a few cases of weird-acting SF guys... CO's take a dim view of these kind of things.

[btbt]

yeah, write everything down -- all the stuff you've posted in a good start. This is completely improper behavior and you should report him to his supervisor and the police, and get a restraining order if you have to. This fellow obviously has bad control issues!