I really like this guy buttt..

[Hotniceguy]

I've recently been talking to this guy and i really like him, but he's HIV+ and has been for a few years. I am hesitant to get into a relationship with him, I know i can't get HIV from kissing and things like that but what about when it comes to sex? There are so many risks and i don't know if i can deal with it. Anyone out there been in a similar situation and had reservations? Any feedback or advice would be welcome.

Thanks!

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

eek that would be kind of scary but its good that you're not judgemental. i don't know too much about hiv, but one time at work they put us all through this class and part of it was bioharzards or something.. anyway, the instructor told us it's like i don't remember some thousands times easier to get certain types of hepatitis than to get hiv. BUT, if i were you i might be a little careful even if you're gonna kiss him. could you get it if he had some sort of scrape or sore in his mouth. just see what you can find out maybe from your doctor. good luck.

[itsallgrand]

Hey. I've never been in that situation. But, what I would do is educate myself as much as possible about HIV. You would have to be extremely careful with precautions when it comes to sex.

 

There is also his health to consider. If you fall in love with him, it could mean sticking by some unique challenges. Is he healthy and well right now? I would want to be fully informed about his condition.

 

It's great that he was upfront with you. Best wishes.

[Cadence308]

I've never been in your situation, either. Nor do I know anyone who has been in your situation. That is great that he has been upfront and honest with you. I would consult your healthcare provider about the possibility of becoming sexually active with him. If you choose to, then it sounds like you know what you are getting into.

 

The thing about HIV is that people don't die from HIV, they die because they get a cold and can't fight it or some other infection. There could be some tough times ahead for you if his health takes a turn for the worst. If you really care about him and are prepared to deal with this, then I don't see what you have to lose.

 

GL!

[kadvati79]

Actually to put people right, HIV is an infection that causes AIDs. When HIV has successfully attacked the immune system to the point it is not functioning properly the virus is active and is classed as the Disease called AIDs, the immune system which when it gets slammed enough so often results in opportunistic infections that healthy people would shrug off to cause serious damage and possibly death.

 

When someone has HIV, they are perfectly healthy and normal in every respect. It can take many years (particulary if the individual is young, healthy, on a good health plan) to develop into full blown AIDs in rare cases it doesn't. You can however spread the HIV virus to other people during this time, and in fact there are about thirty strains so you can actually infect other people with HIV with ANOTHER version of the virus!

 

Me and my friends have discussed the whole issue of dating someone HIV positive or not. To me, it would make me hesitant. But I would date someone with the virus. If I really did like the person I would commence a careful sexual relationship with them. If my partner got/had it, I wouldn't even consider leaving because of it (unless it was as a result of cheating or something).

 

I don't actually have the virus, but I worked alot with the remains of junkies etc... who did and I learned alot about it then. The virus has a very short lifespan outside of the human body, and there is no evidence to suggest it can be transferred through oral contact. I would kiss someone with HIV without hesitation.

 

On a search once I saw a soldier who refused to hold a guys hand who was dying at the scene of an accident because the guy had AIDs and there was dried blood all over his hands. I made a point of walking over and holding his hand without gloves on. I'd rather have the virus than be that heartless. But thats just me.

 

People with HIV can live full, normal, and healthy lives. But it comes with a huge burden that I can't really fully comprehend and I am sure only someone in the situation could.

 

I would just be cautious with him and see how things go.

[FoxLocke]

Hotniceguy, you are a much better person than I am. I don't think I would be brave enough to go with my heart in that situation. I would be so petrified about contracting the virus that it would make me paranoid all the time...

 

My only advice is to educate yourself as much as humanly possible on the HIV virus, transmission, and safe sex.

 

That is what I am doing now before I get into a relationship. And my rule is to always make sure my potential mate is tested.

 

Good luck to you! And don't go by me...I'm a scaredy cat.

[KIDD]

I am much like Foxlocke in this situation. I'd probably be too paranoid too! It shows alot about you though to stick by him in this situation still! I know alot of people would run for the hills when they find out someone has HIV or AIDS which is really sad. I say still pursue a relationship with him & please be VERY VERY careful. Learn all you can about HIV from good reliable sources! Educate yourself alot. I'd be very precautious with sex, even with a condom. I'm really not trying to scare you but to make you aware. Condoms are not always 100% effective & condoms do rip & tear. It's very unlikely that something will slip but please be careful. I'm glad this guy was upfront & honest with you! There are actually some people out there who go & have sex with other people knowing good & well that they have the virus. That is so disgusting!

[Hotniceguy]

Thanks for everyone's responses i appreciate them. I'll take things very slow and very safe with this guy and see what happens. If nothing else i feel like i've made a new friend in him.

thanks again!

[itsallgrand]

That's wonderful! Good luck to you.