Anybody 17-19?

[YankeeGirl02]

If anybody here was ever I guess in their late teens and dating someone older, whether it be 20s or over, did you ever feel self consious that you were somehow hold them back from their lives?

 

I've seen people who are in their 40s and dating a 20 year old worry because they think they're slowing down their partners, but for me it's opposite. I worry that if I ever started a relationship with him. I would just be a setback. He's 23, I'm 17, and I suppose most people at his age want to be free to roam and not have to settle with some girl who's just going into college.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Yes, I am 16 and my ex just recently turned 21 right before we broke up. I did feel weird when he would go to parties( rarely) or drink, because that obviosuely wasn't really sometihng i could do. However I always felt like his equal in most ways.

 

I've seen your posts, if you like this guy, then go for it hun, stop letting these little what if fears get in the way. They got me at first, so i see where your coming from, but age gap relationships are more commen than once thought. Just don't let him rush you into anything.

[Kevin T]

My parents got together when my mom was 16, my dad was 26.

[ocrob]

I am a bit confused at your question. If I understood correctly, you are 23 and he is in his 20"s. To address your original question, I don't think the age of the other person would have any negative effect on the older person. If I met a younger woman that was really sweet, then it would be awesome. No women is going to have an impact on my life in the sense of my growth or career. I may not be understanding your question. I am 37 and if I met a 20 year old, then she would have no different effect on me as if I was with a 40 year old. My business life is separate and the woman I go out with will not have an effect on my morals or the way I act. I would love to meet a younger woman, but I have never looked for it and will not, but it could be nice. It just depends on the person and if they are a good person.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Nah she's 17 and he's 23

[YankeeGirl02]

Sorry,I phrased it a bit weird. He is 23, and I'm 17. I was just worried that since I'm the younger one, I would have some sort of negative impact on him in terms of where he wants to be in life.

[Kevin T]

Not necessarily. I'm 24 as we all know (since is says so on the left, anyway lol), and I would love to settle down with the right girl. So don't think you're necessarily holding him back.

[YankeeGirl02]

Yes, I am 16 and my ex just recently turned 21 right before we broke up. I did feel weird when he would go to parties( rarely) or drink, because that obviosuely wasn't really sometihng i could do. However I always felt like his equal in most ways.

 

I've seen your posts, if you like this guy, then go for it hun, stop letting these little what if fears get in the way. They got me at first, so i see where your coming from, but age gap relationships are more commen than once thought. Just don't let him rush you into anything.

Thanks for replying Not to get too personal, and you don't have to answer, but did your breakup have something to do with your ages?

 

I won't let him rush me to anything. He's very good like that.

[elaineska]

I'm a high school junior dating a freshman in college. I don't usually feel like I'm holding him back. Just let him enjoy his life as a 23-year-old. I don't mind when my bf goes to clubs or parties (I can't join him because of our LDR) because I trust him. He chose me. If this guy chooses you, I wouldn't worry. He's with you for a reason.

[Cadence308]

I think most older people view dating someone younger as they are holding back the younger person. Younger people usually stay up later, go out more often, are more naive and inexperienced, so I could see the older person's point of view.

[spunkmaster]

Well, I'm 19, and my bf is 26, almost 27. As stated above, both of us feel like we are holding the other one back. I worry that he won't go out and party and stuff like that because I'm not old enough to go with him, while he worries that since I'm just finishing up my first year of college, he's holding me back and tying me down. We've had this conversation before, and we both agree that although we both like going out together, going out with our other friends is important too...Another one of my concerns is his career, because he has flat out told me that if him taking a certain job bothers/worries me he won't do it. (he's a certified paramedic) I told him to not be ridiculous, because his job is inevitably going to make me worry. To summarize, just keep the lines of communication open! I cannot stress enough how important that is!

 

Hope that made some kind of sense. Feel free to PM me sometime if you want!

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Thanks for replying Not to get too personal, and you don't have to answer, but did your breakup have something to do with your ages?

 

I won't let him rush me to anything. He's very good like that.

 

Don't worry, I'm an open book most of the time. And no, nothing to do with our ages. He wasn't really ready I guess to dedicate the energy it took to make a relationship work, and I questioned too much too often. We weren't right as a couple, but thankfully with enough space we are good as friends.

[lucia]

I know what you mean. You feel like you're on different levels. He has his career and you're just starting college? You fear that you might slow him down or that he'll start hesitate you cause you'll need attention, help?

 

I was in the same situation and not that long time ago. I took the risk. I believe he's worth everything I do, he does a lot for me. It's not easy, actually it's really difficult. We decided to do out best. I'm 6 years older than him and sometimes I feel like there is so much pressure on me. But I believe that if something won't kill you then it'll make you stronger! So believe in what you stand for and do it. Listen to your heart. Don't be blinded though.

 

Good luck!