Having trouble again w/ my 16 year old

[mrsmarvl]

Hi everyone I havent posted in a while, last time it was about my step children, this time its about MY 16 yr old daughter. Well, she has been back living with me for about 2and half years, she was living with her father. Him and I have been divorced for about 8 years now, but there has always been a problem with my ex and my youngest. She suffered the most ( I think in the Divorce), she got heavy into drugs and alcohol, and boys when she lived with him, no supervision, at all , my ex works nights all the time, so there was no one to be home with her. I would get calls from people that they saw her @ 5am hangoing out on a street corner. Well she called me up and said she was tired of her dads crap and wanted to know if she could come home....Well she wasnt home 2 weeks (I thought she was at a friends house) she got arested for curfew and then she got arested for assault with an egg. She went threw the whole system, court etc for a year, she really changed, then during this transition we found out that she had genital herpes. Not a great thing! so everything has taken a turn, she is bi and is with this girl and didnt tell her about her problem, even tho we have talked about it! So the girl heard roomers and asked my daughter if it were true and she lied. Then the girl went to her sibling and she told her the truth, then she came to me to cofirm. and thats when all this about wanting to live with her dad started all over again, she wont return my calls and she tells her sister that its because I play favorites all the time, and no one gets rules except her. So any advice? Im sure there is more I could tell you a we go

[Twan]

It just sounds like your daughter is messed up. I hate to say it. Have you sent her to therapy to try and get her head cleared?

 

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say

[SparklingBlueIs]

Theraphy would be a really great idea. Maybe counsling for the entire family also?

[Tesseract_Witch]

Counseling sounds good, as many suggest. Kids can be so troublesome--I would know >

[mrsmarvl]

SHe has already gone threw a yrs worth of counseling, and so have her stepdad and i , her real father refused. He is a hinder instead of a help, She wont go to school she had a job then got laid off(seasonal). I have to go threw this girlfriend of hers to find anything out about her, and she is a cocky one, she told me that shes all Ive got right now to keep in contact with my daughter. and my ex refuses to return my calls, I left him a message that as a parent you should have her call me to let me know how she is. Nothing yet

[southerngirl]

Im so sorry your going through this. I wish I had advice to give you.

 

I can tell you something though, I had a friend growing up and she used to sleep around. She got arrested a few times. No STDs thank goodness, but you get the picture.

 

Her mom let her fall and I mean hard. She dropped out of school, she ran wild moved out . Im sure it hurt her mom to do this it was 'tough' love and for a while my friend didnt think her mom cared. Well, she ended up finding a man she REALLY cared for someone we had grown up with. Now, 11 years later the two of them are still together. She has two healthy kids with him and they are happy.

 

Also, on her own, she got her GED and financial help to fund her schooling and has just graduated with a Bachelors Degree in Interior design. I am so proud of her and she was the least likely to have achieved what looks like pure happiness! Her mom and her are great friends now, but she had to go through some learning and living and falling flat on her face with no one there to hold her up for her to want to help herself.

 

Good Luck with it and dont forget that this forum is here, and while we may not have all the answers it does help to talk!

[mrsmarvl]

Thx Southerngirl. I dont know what she wants from me or her stepdad! She doesnt get from her real dad what she gets from us. Im scared that she will get back into drugs, and her dad is not very observant, when it comes to alot of things. I want to go over there, but I know that my ex will have a fit, he just hates me and i dont want scenes anymore, hejust wont work with me, he takes her side wether right or wrong, because he hates me and uses my daughter to get back at me, but of course niether one see that. He is just is a few french fries short of a happy meal....But I would never tell my kids that, the older ones have found out for themselves