What to do?

[allstar18]

So me and my girlfriend broke up after a year of going out like a month and a half ago. She seems fine without me and I miss her a little but I don't think we will go back out because she seems fine now. Any ways a couple weeks ago she told me she really cared about me and if I didn't hang out with this other girl we would be going back out but now she doesn't seemed like she wants me that much anymore. Well she told me to tell the other girl that I still have feelings for my "ex" and we shouldn't hang out right now and I didn't want to lead her on. Well I guess she "hates me" now because of this I think. My friend says that she probably doesn't, but I was wondering if their is a way of her to make her not hate me anymore? If I told her that my ex wanted me to do this would that make it worse or no, I'm not sure how she would take that? Anyone have any ideas of what I should do or ideas from her to stop "hating me"? I miss my ex still but I don't know if we have a future together anymore. Also it's not like I want to go out with girl right now but she is pretty cool and I want to be friends again.

[itsallgrand]

Sounds like you're confused and not sure what you want?

 

The girl may not want your friendship now, and if that is how she feels, you need to just let that be.

I'm betting she was starting to care for you and was hurt by your rejection of her.

If she 'hates' you, you need to find a way to be cool with that.

 

So, don't worry about that. Consider her basically out of your life - at the very least until you figure out what you want and if you are going to be with ex/ or available.

 

tc

[Dating Coach]

Your problem is that you are being a complete and utter pushover. I am not saying that to insult you, but because it's what you are doing. What do YOU want? Quit living your life to please others. Seriously. I got sick when I read: "What can I do to make her not hate me?" WHO CARES! If you are pursuing your own goals and ambitions, then WHO CARES what she decided to think about YOU BEING YOU!

 

If you go around life with no backbone and simply try to please everyone, then you will NEVER live a happy life. Not only because you won't be doing what's best for you, but the whole ideal of pleasing everyone is impossible and will backfire. That's right, you will end up doing the opposite of your goal anyway, because people don't respect you when you can't stand up for yourself, make your own decisions, and put yourself numero uno. You will be used and abused, take advantage of because you allow it to happen.

 

Who cares what the dumb ex thinks. You have nothing to do with that person now and they have NO SAY in what you do. I'd tell the person to mind their own damn business.