What to do???

[gabodi]

I dated this girl for 3 months back in the fall. She broke up with me cause we worked together and it was hard. We didn't talk a lot outside of work after that, for a few months. Then, she lost her job at my work and began working somewhere else. Almost immediately after this, she started to call me and we've started to hang out again. We've hung out 3 times in the past 2 weeks or so and talk a few times a week on the phone. She told a friend of mine that she couldn't work with me and date me, but that things could change now. But, that she was also worried of ruining our friendship. When we hang out, it's fun and I do get positive vibes, but nothing like dating has happened yet. I don't know whether to come right out and ask her if she wants to date again...or to let it go slow and see what happens.

 

Does anyone have any advice on this?

 

Thanks!

[Dating Coach]

If she really was interested in you, she would be with you. Yes, it is that simple. I've heard and seen this exact situation 100 times. What she is giving you is an EXCUSE. If she was really romantically interested in you, she would never say that she was "afraid" of ruining the friendship. I mean geez, what kind of answer is that anyway? What's she saying, "I know this relationship will fail so I won't give it a shot because since it will fail it will inevitably ruin our friendship"? It makes no sense.

 

I'll tell you what does make sense though, she's not really interested in you romantically and she is using that explaination as an excuse. I said it 100 thousand times, and I'll say it again. The truth is in a woman's actions, not her words. IF she was interested in you, she would be with you. Since her actions have not been to get with you, then what her actions are saying is, "I'm not that interested."

 

Sorry bro, that's the bottom line. You can't convince her that it's okay to be together and that your friendship won't be ruined because that's not her real issue. You will be focusing on what she is "saying", not the real problem of her not having interest.

 

What you should do is tell her, "You know, you are right. We're better off as friends." and leave it at that. Once you start meeting new women and such, she might start to think, "Damn, I could have had him" but there is nothing else I would suggest doing here. Move on.

[missbrittanyy]

i think there is a possibility the two of you could end up in a relationship. i means he made an effort to start calling you once you both didn't work together.. so time will tell i guess

[gabodi]

Her actions are saying something different though. We had gone through a period where we didn't really talk at all. Then all of a sudden she started calling me and wanting to hang out, as soon as we stopped working together. So, her actions seem to be leading in the right direction.

[missbrittanyy]

i guess all you can do is ask her.

[CamaroJoe]

Don't ask her! Don't do anything. In fact, i wouldn't say 'ignore her' but talk to other women. Flirt with other girls, especially around her and just be yourself.

 

She will start feeling things for you once she sees you don't need her. And when she calls, don't answer every time. Make her wait a few days and then call her back.

 

And next time she tries to kiss you, YOU push HER away and say 'you'd rather not'...this will confuse her to death. She'll be all messed up in the head like she did something wrong.

 

And, assuming you still want this grl, once you see that she's starting to be submissive to you. Then, instead of talking about it, just kiss her and see how she reacts.

 

But make sure when you kiss her, you've confused her into not knowing how you feel about her anymore.

 

Hope you take my advice and it helps you, as I'm sure it will.

[Dating Coach]

Her actions are saying something different though. We had gone through a period where we didn't really talk at all. Then all of a sudden she started calling me and wanting to hang out, as soon as we stopped working together. So, her actions seem to be leading in the right direction.

 

Don't "hang out" as buddies do. Call her and set up a "date". Take her to dinner, or something that cannot be misconstrued as "friend actitivies", and then at the end of the night, go for the kiss. That's how you will get your answer. Quit fartin around and get to the point before it's too late.

[Dating Coach]

And next time she tries to kiss you, YOU push HER away and say 'you'd rather not'...this will confuse her to death. She'll be all messed up in the head like she did something wrong.

 

And, assuming you still want this grl, once you see that she's starting to be submissive to you. Then, instead of talking about it, just kiss her and see how she reacts.

 

But make sure when you kiss her, you've confused her into not knowing how you feel about her anymore.

 

Hope you take my advice and it helps you, as I'm sure it will.

 

I disagree. That's game playing, and game playing is completely unnecessary.

[jordan_2]

are you all trying to get this guy to sabotage this girl?

 

I who knows what the circumstances are in this situation? maybe the girl really did feel uncomfortable working with him and dating him (seeing him at work could maybe have related him to the stress of work) and it all became to much (we all know how "office" relationships don't really work out most of the time).

 

I think that you need to talk to her and see why she's calling you all of a sudden, but I agree with the whole, don't fall head over heels for her again, let her know that you are not going to allow her to throw you around and pull you around like she's got a leash around you.

 

don't compromise yourself and keep your options open

 

good luck