Jealousy getting me in trouble

[chips]

I need some advice. I have this friend who is one of my best friends. Recently I told her that I like her more than just a friend. She acted all surprised and said she didnt feel the same way that she just views me as a really good friend. This really bothers me cause she has made some horrible choices for boyfriends. Ones that treat her horribly and I care so much about her and know that I would treat her like an angel, something she has never had. Now it seems like she might be superficial in who she goes out with cause they all seem to be the tall "manly" type, and i am not. Not say I am unattractive just diffrent from the people she goes out with. Now the jealousy part comes in cause whenever we are around other guys she seems to flirt with a lot of them even ones she has said before she doesn't even like. This hurts cause I'm supposed to be such a good friend and she doesn't act that way to me. Now it would be easy for me just to think oh well I am just a friend but these people she flirts with she has said over and over again that doesnt even like in romantic sort of way. Also my jealousy problem comes in also cause she openly flirts with these people at parties that I am at where I have alcohol in me so I tend to go off on her for acting this way. I feel it may be affecting an otherwise great friendship. What should I do? Do I have any reason for being upset? And also why would this girl act this way to people she has said she doesnt even like and not act like that to her good friend? Also almost forgot before I told her I liked her she was flirty with me just like she is to other people, we even kissed a couple of times. Thanks for any help

[robowarrior]

Because woman like to be with men who treat them like trash they mistake it for being 'cool' , its her loss if she wants to be with a guy that molests her, in the meanwhile i wouldn't be around her, and invest my time in someone who does consider me as her nr.1 and vice versa.

[macdomat]

She's a hopeless flirt. As are probably 1 in 5 women. She probably doesn't even realize she's doing it half the time. But she probably doesn't do it to you anymore because you told her you liked her.

 

You gotta get a handle on that jealousy thing. You need to stop thinkng about her that way.... it's clear that she doesn't want you (sorry, pal) and you're never gonna get her. Don't hold on to the hope that if you keep being a "nice guy" she'll one day think, "Hmmm, that is really such a nice guy." It ain't gonna happen. Women form their opinion of you within probably 5 minutes of meeting you. Unless she's attracted to you from the get-go, she's not gonna be interested later.

 

Boy, that sounds harsh. But it's the bitter truth, amigo.

 

The BEST advice I can give is to be her friend, that's it. If you can't do that, you better start looking for some new friends soon, because that jealousy of yours is just gonna push you two farther and farther apart...

[Emotional_Kisses]

You've got 2 decisions really -

 

1. You need to accept that the 2 of you are only going to be friends. Forget looking at her as some one date-able. It sounds like you're fighting a losing battle. Try and make some new girl friends and who knows, you may just find a nice girl, who youre attracted to in the process.

 

2. You need to cut yourself away from her completely. If you don't feel you can just be friends with her. You need to stop being with her all together. For YOUR benefit. It will just continue to cut you up inside and prevent you from getting on with your own life and meeting your "Mrs. Wright."

[missbrittanyy]

I liked a bestfriend once.

he was hoplessly in love with a girl who ALWAYS was cheating on him, and it made me feel like * * * *, because she was still better than me, and i thought i could give him the world in a nut shell, but as his bestfriend, it was still my job to be there for him the countless times she cheated or he found a new girl, or whatever else.

 

honestly if you value your friendship, the best you can do is suck it up, and be her BESTFRIEND. like you were before. she's not leading you on, and she's made it clear her feelings for you are not mutual. don't make her pay for your jealousy problems if she means as much to you as you say she does

[music_girl]

same opinion as almost evryone here

 

this girl and u should take some time off each other

 

hang up with other people

 

she might even react to that and start flirting with u again even so, it would be your decision if u take her back or not

 

but for now just back off

 

good luck

[chips]

I talked to her and apologized for going off on her and said that I felt bad cause I did overreact. Still really jealous for some reason everytime she is talking to another guy. Can't figure out how to stop this cause it is definetly not fun to feel this way. Anyway she said she wasnt mad at me and wanted to be friends but said we can't if I kept acting this way. Which I know is right but still really hard. For some reason I always feel that even though people say this that if they see that you are a good person and get along with them wonderfully they would want to go out with you. Maybe its just the male side of me that thinks logically rather then a female emotional perspective. Anyways thanks for the advice funny how I know what the right thing to do is but once I hear other people say it, it just helps