HELP! he is going to dump meeee!!!

[zara]

hi, i need some advice. my boyfriend with whom i have a long distance

relationship supposedly loves me very much, wanted to be with me etc.

but hten we had a few really big fights about marriage. like he said he

wanted to be with me forever, but then suddenly out of the blue mentioned a) he doesnt want kids ever b) he doesnt want to have a joint

account so his 'idiot wife' (his words) spends all of his money on useless

things. im sure he was just angry at the time but i asked him after our fight whether he still loves me or feels differently. he said he does still love me but also feels differently because our tendency to fight recently has hurt him a lot and made him have doubts about us. i feel really badd because i have been fighting with him a lot bout stupid things, as i have my final college law exams in three weeks. but the fact that he is soo far

away and that i just left his place last week after spending sooo much time with him for a week nonstop except when he was at work, made me miss him, and i was stressed...

 

so basically we have had big fights ad i think he is gonna dump me or loves me less. i can feel him pulling away....and i have recognised this pulling away...my reaction is to call him and cling but i know thats not the wy forward-- i know i should give him time but i want things to be perfect again and im so scared they wont be...

hellllllp!

[goddess23]

hey first of all concentrate on your exams or wahtever. this is not important right now because frankly its not like you're pregnant (im assuming lol). but in terms of him going to break up with you, it doesnt appear to be the case at least based on your post. i mean he may be pulling away if you feel it but maybe you're both busy at the moment. and him saying stuff like that is serious and they are matters you guys have to tlak about. how do YOU feel about this? dont be afraid, because everyting happens for a reason. maybe you guys arent meant to be, so just talk to him later on about it and see what happens.

[jchan]

One thing i would have to say. here's a tip. focus on what needs to be done. e.g. exams.

 

Second thing, if you are to meet up i'll tell you something, the my padre taught me recently. give him the open door policy. be cool about it. don't push him away by being needy clingy etc. that will only turn him off. give him time to miss you. to do that you gotta give him time and space. most importantly improve yourself.

 

the last thing you want before your exams is a break up. trust me. i know. i'm going through it right now. let it simmer down a bit. get your priorties set. then go back to the dilemma

 

Your situation can still be saved. you just gotta keep your cool.

there's an analogy of how you feel. think of the mind as the horse, think of the heart as the carriage. which comes first, the horse or the carriage?

think with your head first . not with your heart.

[zara]

both your advices are very good...i know that i should just focus on work

but im having an increasingly difficult time doing it. you see, i have not been in love with anyone for about six years..this is my second time, and i didnt think it was possible. and now that its happening, i am just soo scared its all going to fall apart. our relationship has basically been in AIM all day every day the past few months...and either he would fly down to see me or i him whenever we get the chance..like every three weeks...

 

i know he loves me but the thought of him falling out of love with me actually makes me want to step away very very quickly...and just not look back....

[hazeleyed]

listen Zara,

Each one of us are not here just for the sake of mating. we have more to life than just finding that man of our dreams. You do have school at the moment and you must be paying a lot to go there. Think about all the children who cannot afford school. Think about the diffeence you can mke with your education. Zara , put love aside and focus on what really matters to U. Cuz he might leave but your education will stay. Promise

[zara]

well actually i think i can study and have time for love dramas. i like them, they are fun. and i love him...so it doesnt matter. dont worry i will pass.

[hazeleyed]

LoL actually thats a great thing than