Having absolutely no friends

[ElToroLoco]

I wasn't always like this. But its been two years now that i move to the U.S. When I was in my original country I was still shy, but at least I had 2 or 3 friends. Here I dont talk to anybody. And I speak, write and understand English perfectly. I have an A in English and most of my classes. But I cant seem to talk to other people. Thats what's keeping me from talking to the girls I've like. I want to talk to her, if I dont, I know I will regret it later. I know what I have to do but I dont know how to start.

?

[Roobuls]

Well first your gunna needa bring your self confidience levels up..how do u expect to talk to a girl ur crushin on if you can't even manage to make friends. The best bet for this, is to join clubs, play sports. Especially sports, you can make so many friends playing sports, even if you suck! After you got that down, you can move onto making the first move, you can get your new friends to help you learn who she is and what shes all about, and play it off as the new kid in school, that kinda stuff, sit at the same table shes at in the library ask help on some homework, that kinda stuff. But do not get so close till the point your friendzoned, break the ice with this kinda introduction but keep the momentum up, if ur gunna be on your toes put her on her toes, after theres a level of comfort ask her for her number, ask her if she wants to get together sometime after skewl, go places together. The more you get involved at skewl the more your self confidience level will build, the higher your self confidience the the more likely she'll notice you. Where it all starts is with you, don't be shy to try new things at your skewl, like you said, yull only regret it, you already know that much, so now take the plunge into changing it.

Best of Luck!

[Jorus Cbaoth]

What country did you come from? Are you in high school or college?

[KIDD]

I'd say put yourself in social environments where you will have to talk to people. The best way is to join some sort of sport or after school activities. This way you'll most likely talk with people you can relate on something!

[robowarrior]

You will have to step towards the people if you want to meet someone!

[heythere1234]

It's hard for a lot of us, maybe try learning golf?

[ElToroLoco]

Yeah but I sucked at every sport I tried.

[heythere1234]

You don't have to be good at golf to play, unless your in team competition or something.

[DG9]

it IS hard... i had SO mant friends back at home and moved toa new country 3 years ago... from day one in a new place my personality changed!! i couldnt bring myslef ot tlak to ANYONE or be myself... but it gets better... just make sure that u build up ur confidence!

 

when my confidence was skyhigh i found out that making friedns is SO easy... but when something goes wrong i lose them all... just remember, u cant find perfect friends...

 

try and join clubs or take up a hobby where ull meet new people! when ur good at something... ur confidence boosts!

[easyguy]

Javier,

 

Perhaps you could try and find a part-time job somewhere that is relaxed about social interaction between co-workers... like a clothing store. The point of it wouldn't be to get a date (but hey, if it happens, it happens), but to get used to not only talking to people face-to-face in general, but being able to relax around your peers.

 

None of it will happen overnight. It will require patience, and it will require you to step out of your comfort zone... and if you trust yourself, you will begin to see results in how you act and behave around others.

 

There's really nothing truly stopping you from being how you want to be. It's all a mental battle. I'm always working on that myself. Fear is a powerful thing.

 

You can have perfect English and be able to speak fluidly, but social interaction in this sense is a little different. You have to not take yourself so seriously. You have to be open to being a little different than you normally act. It isn't bad, it's just different than if you were in the classroom giving a lecture.

 

Good luck on it all, man.